Terry Pratchett - The Sea and Little Fishes

She thought she’d been careful to stay concealed, but she heard the straw rustle behind her. The committee had tracked her down.

“That’s your handwriting, isn’t it, Mrs Earwig?” she said. “That’s cruel. That ain’t ... nice.”

“We’ve decided you’re to go and talk to Miss Weatherwax,” said Letice. “She’s got to stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“She’s doing something to people’s heads! She’s come here to put the ’fluence on us, right? Everyone knows she does head magic. We can all feel it! She’s spoiling it for everyone!”

“She’s only sitting there,” said Nanny.

“Ah, yes , but how is she sitting there, may we ask?”

Nanny peered around the stall again.

“Well ... like normal. You know ... bent in the middle and the knees ...”

Letice waved a finger sternly.

“Now you listen to me, Gytha Ogg —”

“If you want her to go away, you go and tell her!” snapped Nanny. “I’m fed up with —”

There was the piercing scream of a child.

The witches stared at one another, and then ran across the field to the Lucky Dip.

A small boy was writhing on the ground, sobbing.

It was Pewsey, Nanny’s youngest grandchild.

Her stomach turned to ice. She snatched him up, and glared into Granny’s face.

“What have you done to him, you —” she began.

“Don’t wanna dolly! Don’t wanna dolly! Wanna soljer ! Wannawannawanna SOLJER !”

Now Nanny looked down at the rag doll in Pewsey’s sticky hand, and the expression of affronted tearful rage on such of his face as could be seen around his screaming mouth —

“Oi wannawannaSOLJER!”

— and then at the other witches, and at Granny Weatherwax’s face, and felt the horrible cold shame welling up from her boots.

“I said he could put it back and have another go,” said Granny meekly. “But he just wouldn’t listen.”

“— wannawannaSOL —”

“Pewsey Ogg, if you don’t shut up right this minute Nanny will —” Nanny Ogg began, and dredged up the nastiest punishment she could think of, “Nanny won’t give you a sweetie ever again!”

Pewsey closed his mouth, stunned into silence by this unimaginable threat. Then, to Nanny’s horror, Letice Earwig drew herself up and said, “Miss Weatherwax, we would prefer it if you left.”

“Am I being a bother?” said Granny. “I hope I’m not being a bother. I don’t want to be a bother. He just took a lucky dip and —”

“You’re ... upsetting people.”

Any minute now, Nanny thought. Any minute now she’s going to raise her head and narrow her eyes and if Letice doesn’t take two steps backwards she’ll be a lot tougher than me.

“I can’t stay and watch?” Granny said quietly.

“I know your game,” said Letice. “You’re planning to spoil it, aren’t you? You can’t stand the thought of being beaten, so you’re intending something nasty.”

Three steps back, Nanny thought. Else there won’t be anything left but bones. Any minute now ...

“Oh, I wouldn’t like anyone to think I was spoiling anything,” said Granny. She sighed and stood up. “I’ll be off home ...”

“No you won’t!” snapped Nanny Ogg, pushing her back down on to the chair. “What do you think of this, Beryl Dismass? And you, Letty Parkin?”

“They’re all —” Letice began.

“I weren’t talking to you!”

The witches behind Mrs Earwig avoided Nanny’s gaze. “Well, it’s not that ... I mean, we don’t think ... “ began Beryl awkwardly. “That is ... I’ve always had a lot of respect for ... but ... well, it is for everyone ...”

Her voice trailed off. Letice looked triumphant.

“Really? I think we had better be going after all, then,” said Nanny sourly. “I don’t like the comp’ny in these parts.” She looked around. “Agnes? You give me a hand to get Granny home ...”

“I really don’t need ...” Granny began, but the other two each took an arm and gently propelled her through the crowd, which parted to let them through and turned to watch them go.

“Probably the best for all concerned, in the circumstances,” said Letice. Several of the witches tried not to look at her face.

There were scraps of material all over the floor in Granny’s kitchen, and gouts of congealed jam had dripped off the edge of the table and formed an immovable mound on the floor. The jam saucepan had been left in the stone sink to soak, although it was clear that the iron would rust away before the jam ever softened.

There was a row of empty pickle jars as well.

Granny sat down and folded her hands in her lap.

“Want a cup of tea, Esme?” said Nanny Ogg.

“No, dear, thank you. You get on back to the Trials. Don’t you worry about me.”

“You sure?”

“I’ll just sit here quiet. Don’t you worry.”

“I’m not going back!” Agnes hissed, as they left. “I don’t like the way Letice smiles ...”

“You once told me you didn’t like the way Esme frowns ,” said Nanny.

“Yes, but you can trust a frown. Er ... you don’t think she’s losing it, do you?”

“No one’ll be able to find it if she has,” said Nanny. “No, you come on back with me. I’m sure she’s planning ... something.” I wish the hell I knew what it is, she thought. I’m not sure I can take any more waiting.

She could feel the mounting tension before they reached the field. Of course, there was always tension, that was part of the Trials, but this kind had a sour, unpleasant taste. The sideshows were still going on but ordinary folk were leaving, spooked by sensations they couldn’t put their finger on which nevertheless had them under their thumb. As for the witches themselves, they had that look worn by actors about two minutes from the end of a horror movie, when they know the monster is about to make its final leap and now it’s only a matter of which door.

Letice was surrounded by witches. Nanny could hear raised voices. She nudged another witch, who was watching gloomily.

“What’s happening, Winnie?”

“Oh, Reena Trump made a pig’s ear of her piece and her friends say she ought to have another go because she was so nervous.”

“That’s a shame.”

“And Virago Johnson ran off ’cos her weather spell went wrong.”

“Left under a bit of a cloud, did she?”

“And I was all thumbs when I had a go. You could be in with a chance, Gytha.”

“Oh, I’ve never been one for prizes, Winnie, you know me. It’s the fun of taking part that counts.”

The other witch gave her a skewed look.

“You almost made that sound believable,” she said.

Gammer Beavis hurried over. “On you go, Gytha”, she said. “Do your best, eh? The only contender so far is Mrs Weavitt and her whistling frog, and it wasn’t as if it could even carry a tune. Poor thing was a bundle of nerves.”

Nanny Ogg shrugged, and walked out into the roped-off area. Somewhere in the distance someone was having hysterics, punctuated by an occasional worried whistle.

Unlike the magic of wizards, the magic of witches did not usually involve the application of much raw power. The difference is between hammers and levers. Witches generally tried to find the small point where a little changes made a lot of result. To make an avalanche you can either shake the mountain, or maybe you can just find exactly the right place to drop a snowflake.

This year Nanny had been idly working on the Man of Straw. It was an ideal trick for her. It got a laugh, it was a bit suggestive, it was a lot easier than it looked but showed she was joining in, and it was unlikely to win.