Александра Адорнетто - Halo

Xavier laughed. “That argument makes no sense. Overruled.”

“I’m just basing it on how much I miss you when you’re not around,” I countered.

“How can you possibly know how much I miss you?” he said. “Have you got some sort of built-in miss-o-meter that can give us a reading?”

“I’m a girl; of course I have a built-in miss-o-meter.”

I drifted off to sleep reassured by the feel of his chest pressed against my back. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. I traced the smooth skin on his arms, made golden by time outdoors. In the moonlight I could see every hair, every vein, every freckle, and I loved it all.

That was my last thought before I fell asleep that night, and I found that fear had abandoned me completely.

A Friend in Need

Taylah haunted my dreams. I saw her as a faceless ghost with a pair of bloodstained white hands that grasped aimlessly at the air. Then I was inside her body, lying in a pool of sticky warm blood. I heard the dull dripping of the taps in the girls’ bathroom as she slipped into death.

Then I felt the grief and overwhelming sorrow of her family. They were blaming themselves for not having noticed her depression, wondering if they could have prevented the outcome. Jake was there in the dream too, always at the edge of the frame, slightly out of focus and laughing softly.

In the morning I woke to find the covers rumpled and the place beside me empty. If I pressed my face into the pillow where his head had rested, I could still faintly catch Xavier’s scent. I rolled out of bed and opened the curtains to let golden sunlight pour into the room.

In the kitchen, it was Xavier and not Gabriel cooking breakfast. He had pulled on his jeans and T-shirt, and his hair was tousled. He looked fresh faced and beautiful as he carefully cracked eggs into the sizzling pan.

“I thought a decent breakfast was in order,” he said when he saw me.

Gabriel and Ivy were already seated at the dining table, plates heaped with scrambled eggs on sourdough toast in front of them.

“This is really good,” Ivy said between mouthfuls. “How did you learn to cook?”

“I had no choice, I had to learn,” Xavier said. “My whole family besides Mom are useless in the kitchen. When she works late at the clinic they order pizza or eat whatever they can find that says, ‘add water and stir.’ So I cook for them whenever Mom isn’t around.”

“Xavier’s a man of many skills,” I told Ivy and Gabe glowingly.

Xavier had stayed only one night yet I marveled at how easily he had become integrated into our little family. It didn’t feel like we had a guest in the house—he was just one of us now.

Even Gabriel seemed to have accepted him, and found him a clean white shirt to wear to school.

I noticed we were all carefully avoiding the subject of what had happened the previous afternoon. I knew I was certainly trying to block out the memory.

“I know yesterday came as an awful shock to us all,” Ivy said eventually. “But we’re going to deal with this situation.”

“How?” I asked

“Our Father will show us the way.”

“I just hope He does it soon, before it’s too late,” Xavier muttered, but I was the only one who heard him.

A shock wave had torn through the school after the discovery of Taylah’s suicide.

Although classes continued in an attempt at maintaining normality, everything seemed to be operating tentatively. Letters had gone out to parents offering grief counseling and encouraging families to support their children in any way they could. People walked around as if on eggshells, not wanting to be too loud or insensitive. Jake Thorn and his friends were notably absent.

An assembly was called mid-morning, and Dr. Chester explained to the students that the administration didn’t know exactly what had transpired, but they had placed the investigation in the hands of the police. Then his voice became less matter-of-fact.

“The loss of Taylah McIntosh is shocking and tragic. She was a great friend and student, and she will be greatly missed. If any of you would like to speak to someone about what has occurred, please book a time with Miss Hirche, our trusted school counselor.”

“I feel sorry for the doc,” said Xavier. “He’s been getting phone calls all morning. The parents are up in arms about this.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Schools go down over incidents like this,” he said. “Everyone wants to know what happened, why the school didn’t do more to prevent it. People start to worry about their own kids.”

I was outraged. “But this had nothing to do with the school.”

“Well, the parents sure don’t see it that way,” Xavier said.

After the assembly, Molly caught up with me, her eyes red and puffy from crying. Xavier saw that she wanted to talk in private and excused himself to go to a water-polo meeting.

“How are you holding up?” I asked, taking her hand. Molly shook her head, and fresh tears trickled down her cheeks.

“It just feels so weird being here at the moment,” she said in a choked voice. “It’s not the same without her.”

“I know,” I said softly.

“I don’t get it,” Molly said. “I can’t believe she would do something like that. Why didn’t she talk to me? I didn’t even know she was depressed—I’m the worst friend!” She let out a sob, and I rushed forward to hug her. It seemed she might collapse if something wasn’t holding her up.

“This isn’t your fault,” I said. “Sometimes things happen that no one could’ve predicted.”

“But . . . ,” Molly began.

“No.” I cut her off. “Trust me—there was nothing you could have done to stop this.”

“I wish I could believe that,” Molly whispered. “Did you hear how they found her in all that blood? It’s like something out of a horror movie.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled. The last thing I wanted was to relive the experience. “Molly, maybe you should talk to a counselor,” I said gently. “It might help.”

“No.” Molly shook her head forcefully and then laughed. It sounded high-pitched and hysterical. “I just want to forget that it ever happened. I want to forget that she was ever here.”

“But, Molly, you can’t just pretend things are okay.”

“Watch me,” she said, her voice suddenly falsely cheerful and bright. “Something good actually happened the other day.” She smiled broadly, her eyes still shining with tears. It was frightening to watch.

“What?” I asked, wondering whether she might give up the charade if I played along.

“Well, it turns out that Jake Thorn is in my IT class.”

“Oh,” I said, amazed at how quickly the conversation was spiraling downhill. “That’s great.”

“Yeah, it really is,” Molly said. “Because he asked me out.”

“What!” I burst out, spinning around to face her.

“I know,” she said. “I couldn’t believe it either.” It was obvious the shock had messed with her head. She was grasping at any sort of distraction that would take her mind off the pain of her loss.

“What did you say?” I asked.

She laughed harshly. “Don’t be stupid, Beth. What do you think I said? We’re going out this Sunday with some of his friends. Oh, I almost forgot, are you okay with it, after what happened at the prom? Because you said you didn’t have feelings for him . . .”

“No! I mean, of course I don’t have feelings for him.”

“Then you don’t mind?”

“Molly, I do mind, but not for the reasons you think. Jake’s bad news—you can’t go out with him. And would you please quit acting like everything’s fine!” My voice had gone up an octave, and I knew I sounded stressed.