Александра Адорнетто - Halo

“Well?” I asked him softly. “Would you say yes?”

“Definitely not.”

“Why!”

“Because I don’t think you’re ready.”

“Isn’t that for me to decide?” I said stubbornly. “You can’t stop me.”

“I think you’ll find it takes two to tango,” Xavier said. He stroked my face. “Beth, I love you and nothing makes me happier than being close to you. You’re intoxicating.”

“So . . . ?”

“So if you really want to do this, then I’m in one hundred and ten percent, but not before we think it over carefully.”

“When will that be?”

“When you’re thinking clearly and when you haven’t been speaking to Molly.”

I sighed. “This has nothing to do with Molly.”

“Beth, have you considered what the consequences of something like that might be?”

“I suppose—”

“And you still want to do it? That’s crazy.”

“Don’t you see?” I said softly. “I don’t care anymore.” I turned my face up toward

Heaven. “That’s not my home anymore. You are.”

Xavier wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. “And you’re mine. But I could never do anything that might hurt you. We have to play by the rules here.”

“It’s not fair. I hate that they rule my life.”

“I know you do, but right now there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“We could do what we want.” I tried to stop myself, but the words seemed to be spilling out uncontrollably. “We could run away, we could forget that anyone else exists.” I realized that

I had been holding this back for some time. “We could hide, they might never find us.”

“They would find us, and I’m not going to lose you, Beth,” said Xavier forcefully. “And if that means we abide by their rules, so be it. I know you’re angry, but I want you to think about what you’re suggesting. Just think for a little while.”

“Like a couple of days?”

“Try a couple of months.”

I sighed, but Xavier was adamant.

“I’m not going to let you rush into anything you might regret. Just slow down—we need to be calm and reasonable. Can you do that for me?”

I leaned my head against his chest and felt the pent-up anger drain from my body. “I can do anything for you.”

“What would happen if an angel and a human made love?” I asked Ivy that night as I was pouring myself a mug of milk.

She looked at me sharply.

“Why do you ask that?” she said. “Bethany, please tell me you haven’t. . . .”

“Of course not,” I cut in. “But I’m just curious.”

“Well . . .” My sister was thoughtful. “The purpose of our existence is to serve God by helping man, not mingling with him.”

“Has it ever happened before?”

“Yes, with disastrous consequences.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that the human and the divine were never meant to merge. If it happened, I believe the angel would lose his or her divinity. There could be no redemption after such a transgression.”

“And the human?”

“The human would never be able to return to normal existence.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because the experience would surpass all human experiences,” Ivy explained.

“So he would be damaged for life?”

“Yes,” said Ivy. “I guess that’s one way of putting it; a kind of outcast. I think it would just be cruel. It would be like giving a human a glimpse into another dimension and then barring him from it. Angels exist outside of time and space and can travel freely between worlds. For the most part our existence is incomprehensible to humans.”

Although the concept was complex and unclear to me, I knew one thing—I couldn’t rush into anything with Xavier, much as I might want to. Such a union was dangerous and forbidden.

It would mean Heaven and earth coming together in an unnatural way, a collision of two worlds.

And from what Ivy said, the impact could be potentially devastating.

___

“Xavier and I have decided to wait,” I told Molly, when she quizzed me in the cafeteria at school. Sometimes I thought she had an unhealthy interest in my love life. I couldn’t explain to her what Ivy had told me, so I worded it the best way I could. “We don’t need to do anything to prove how we feel about each other.”

“But don’t you want to?” Molly asked. “Aren’t you curious?”

“I guess so, but we’re not in a hurry.”

“Oh boy, you guys really are living in a time warp.” Molly laughed. “Everyone else is dying to do it every chance they get.”

“Dying to do what?” Taylah asked, appearing behind Molly, sucking on a lollypop. I shook my head at her to indicate that we should change the subject, but Molly ignored me.

“Get down and dirty,” she said.

“Oh, you want to lose your V-plates?” Taylah asked, flopping down beside us. I must have looked alarmed because Molly burst out laughing.

“Relax, hon, you can trust Taylah—maybe she can help you out.”

“You got a sex question, I’m your girl,” Taylah assured me. I was skeptical. I trusted

Molly, but her friends all had big mouths and little discretion.

“It’s okay,” I said. “It’s not important.”

“You want my advice?” Taylah asked, not seeming to care whether her advice was wanted or not. “Don’t do it with someone you love.”

“What?” I stared at her. She had just thrown my entire system of beliefs into chaos with a few simple words. “Don’t you mean exactly the opposite?”

“Oh, Tay, don’t tell her that,” Molly said.

“Seriously”—Taylah wagged a finger at me—“if you lose it to someone you really love, it all goes to hell.”

“But why?”

“Because when it ends, you’ve given away something really special and you can’t get it back. If you give it to someone you don’t care about—it won’t hurt so much.”

“What if it doesn’t end?” I asked, feeling a sickly lump rise in my throat.

“Trust me, Beth,” said Taylah earnestly. “Everything ends.”

As I listened, I felt a sudden, overwhelming urge to be as far away from them as possible.

“Bethie, don’t pay any attention to her,” Molly said as I pushed back my chair and stood up. “Now look, you’ve upset her.”

“I’m not upset,” I lied, trying to keep my voice level. “I have a meeting. I’ll see you guys later—thanks for the advice, Taylah.”

I picked up my pace as soon as I was outside the cafeteria. I needed to find Xavier. I needed him to hold me so that I could breathe again and his smell and touch would wash away the violent waves of nausea erupting inside me. I found him at his locker about to head to waterpolo practice and skidded into him in my haste for reassurance.

“It’s not going to end, is it?” I buried my face in his chest. “Promise me you won’t let it end.”

“Whoa, Beth, what’s wrong?” Xavier detached me firmly but gently and made me look at him. “What’s happened?

“Nothing,” I said with an unsteady voice. “It’s just that Taylah said . . .”

“Beth,” Xavier sighed, “when are you going to stop listening to those girls?”

“She said everything ends,” I whispered and felt Xavier’s arms tense around me and knew the thought was just as painful to him. “But I couldn’t stand it if that happened to us. Everything would fall apart; there wouldn’t be anything to live for. If we end, I end.

“Don’t talk like that,” Xavier said. “I’m here and so are you. Nobody is going anywhere.”

“And you won’t ever leave me?”

“Not so long as I’m living.”

“How do I know that’s true?”

“Because when I look at you, I see my whole world. I’m not about to walk away; I wouldn’t have anything left.”