Элисон Ноэль - Shadowland

I turn, turn until I’m facing him, suddenly beginning to understand. Voice hoarse, barely discernible when I say, “No!”

Glancing between Roman and Haven as the truth of what he wants, the price he insists on, becomes clear.

No!

My gaze locked on Roman’s, as Ava and Damen remain silent, clueless as to what’s truly transpiring here.

“I won’t do it,” I tell him. “There’s no way you can make me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, luv. Where’s the fun in that?” He smiles, slow, lazy, like the Cheshire cat. “Just like you can’t make me do your bidding with pathetic attempts at mind melds and the dark forces you so recently called upon.” He laughs, wagging his finger at me as he adds, “You’ve been a very naughty girl, Ever. Messing with magick you don’t understand. Never realized when I sold the book all those years ago it’d end up in your hands. Or maybe I did?” He shakes his head. “Who’s to say?”

My eyes meet his, the truth of his words hitting me at full speed. Jude . Is he the one who sold the book to Jude? And if so, are they in this together?

“Why are you doing this?” I narrow my gaze. No longer caring that Damen’s now privy to my long list of betrayals, or what Ava’s thinking off in her corner, focusing only on him and me—as though we’re alone in this creepy, Godforsaken room.

“Well, it’s really rather simple.” He smiles. “You’re so set on drawing lines, setting yourself apart—so now’s your chance to really lay it down, now’s your chance to prove you’re nothing like me. And if you succeed, if you can prove beyond a doubt that we’re nothing alike, well then, I’m fully prepared to give you what you want. I’ll hand over the antidote to the antidote, the cure to the cure, and you and Damen can proceed to the honeymoon suite and have at it. It’s what you’ve dreamed of all along, right? It’s what you’ve been scheming for all this time. And all you have to do to get it is to let your friend die. If you let Haven die, the happily ever after is yours, satisfaction guaranteed—more or less.”

“No.” I shake my head. “ No! ”

“No to the antidote or the happily ever after? Which is it?” He glances between his watch and Haven, smiling as he adds, “Tick-tock, time to decide.”

I move toward Haven, her breath coming hollow, frail, as Ava sits nearby, shaking her head, and Damen—my eternal love—my soul mate—the guy I’ve failed in so many ways—pleads with me not to do the very thing I’m inclined to.

“If you hesitate for too long, she dies. And if you bring her back, then, well, it can get a little messy, as you well know. But if you save her now, just slip her the elixir, well, she’ll wake up feeling fine. Better than fine. And, the best part is, she’ll stay that way forever. Which, after all, is exactly what the people want, isn’t it? Eternal youth and beauty. Everlasting good health and vitality. No old age, no illness, no fear of death. An infinite horizon with no end in sight. So, which will it be, Ever? Stick to your high-minded, elitist, self-serving views, prove you’re nothing like me, continue to hoard all the goods, say good-bye to your friend—and the antidote is yours. Or—” He smiles, gaze fixed on mine. “Save your friend. Give her the backstage pass to the sort of strength and beauty she could only dream of before. The very thing she’s always longed for, the very thing everyone longs for. You don’t have to say good-bye. It’s entirely up to you. But, like I said, daylight’s burning, so you might wanna hurry.”

I take in her pale, fragile face, knowing I’m responsible, completely to blame. Vaguely aware of Damen beside me, urging, “Ever, baby, please listen, you can’t do it. You can’t save her.” Unwilling to look at him when he adds, “You have to let her go—it’s not about us—not about us being together—we’ll find a way, I promised you that. You know the risk this brings—you know you can’t do this—not after experiencing the Shadow-land,” he whispers. “You can’t resign her to that .”

“Ooh! The Shadowland —sounds scary !” Roman laughs and shakes his head. “Don’t tell me you’re still meditating, mate? Still trekking the Himalayas searching for meaning?”

I swallow hard and look away, ignoring them both. Mind crowded with arguments, both for and against, as Ava adds, “Ever. Damen’s right.”

I glare at her, the woman who betrayed me in the very worst way. Leaving Damen vulnerable and exposed after promising to look after him, a willing partner in Roman’s game.

“I know you don’t trust me, but it’s not what you think. Listen, Ever, please, I don’t have time to explain, but if you won’t listen to me, then listen to Damen, he knows what he says, you can’t save your friend, you have to let her go—”

“Spoken like a true rogue,” I hiss, remembering how she took off with the elixir, which I’ve no doubt she drank.

“It’s not what you think,” she says, “it’s nothing like that.”

But I’m no longer listening, my attention returning to Roman, now by my side, jiggling the goblet of elixir, the liquid flashing, sparking, as he swirls it around and around, warning me the time has come, it’s time for me to choose.

“Haven wanted her fortune told, and who better to tell it than you, Avalon ? Too bad Jude’s not here, or we could really have ourselves a party—or wake—depending on how things work out. What happened, Ever, you two looked pretty tight last time I checked.”

I swallow hard, my friend now hanging by a string. A string I can either cut—or—

“Hate to rush you, but it’s the moment of truth. Please don’t disappoint Haven, she was so looking forward to her reading. So what’s it going to be? What do the cards say? Does she live—or does she die? The future is yours to decide.”

“Ever,” Damen says, hand on my arm, veil of energy hovering insistently between us, one more reminder of my mounting mistakes. “You can’t do it, please. You know it’s not right. As hard as this is, you’ve no choice but to say good-bye.”

“Oh, there’s a choice .” Roman jiggles the bottle again. “Just how far are you willing to go to maintain your ideals and get the one thing you most want in the world?”

“Ever, please .” Ava leans toward me. “This is all wrong, it’s against the law of nature. You have to let her go.”

I close my eyes. Unable to act—unable to move—I can’t do this—I can’t make this choice—he can’t make me do this—

Roman’s voice hovering over me when he says, “So I guess that’s it then.” He sighs and moves away. “Good for you, Ever, you proved your point. You’re nothing like me. Nothing at all. You’re a true elitist, a person of lofty ideals, higher mind, and now you get to sleep with your boyfriend too! Well done! And to think all it cost is the life of your friend. Your poor, sad, lost friend, who only wanted what everyone else wants—what you already have and are in the perfect position to share. Congratulations—should I say?”

He heads for the hall as I kneel before Haven, face streaming with tears as I gaze at my friend. My sad, lost, confused friend who didn’t deserve any of this, who’s always paying the price for befriending me. Damen’s and Ava’s murmuring voices beside me, a lullaby of promises, promising me I’ll get through it, that I did the right thing, that it’ll all be okay.

And then I see it, the silver cord that attaches the body to the soul. Having heard about it but never actually seeing it until now. Watching as it stretches so thin it’s ready to snap—send my friend far from here and straight into Summerland—