David Grace - The Accidental Magician

First he went behind the manor to lay in a supply of firewood. After a few minutes of swinging the ax he regretted his deficiencies as a wizard. Had he merely practiced a few simple spells he could have added insuperable keenness to the blade, strength to his shoulders, and lightness to the ax, not to mention steel-like toughness to his now blistering hands.

Grantin worked with a will. Shortly he tottered back to the house beneath an enormous pile of rudely cut kindling. After storing the firewood he cleaned the dishes, then swept the floor. Mercifully, this morning Greyhorn was occupied in another portion of the house and did not enter the kitchen until almost the fifth hour, by which time Grantin had completed his chores and was beginning to lay the table for lunch.

"Good morning, uncle," Grantin said politely. "Did everything go well last night?"

"What do you know about last night?" Greyhorn growled. As he spoke he turned his head sideways and studied Grantin with a mean, squinty glance.

"Nothing, uncle. I don't know anything about what you did last night. But obviously you did something last night, because you weren't here and because you got up late this morning, and I just wondered if whatever it was that you were doing that I don't know about, if-"

"Stop your inane babbling! Just listening to you makes me forget half of my spells." Greyhorn turned an inquisitive eye to the kitchen and then nodded slightly, apparently satisfied with what he saw. "Well, at least you've been working this morning, doing something constructive for a change. Perhaps you have a skill after all. With a little work you might qualify as a fourth assistant wife. Well, let's see if your cooking measures up today. Bring me lunch-and none of those wretched boiled root whistles either. While we're at it, I'll thank you to never again make snail gravy. The last batch turned my throat the color of a Fanist's hoof."

"We have cold broiled chicken and seedbread," Grantin suggested, "and I could make you a red-leaf salad."

"Fine. Set the table, and bring a portion for yourself. Hurry, now, I have an errand for you."

Grantin returned in a moment with the meat, bread, and salad and, for good measure, added a slab of fine white cheese accompanied by a bowl of sugared berries. Not to Grantin's taste, however, was the beverage. Grey-horn insisted on plain spring water. The wizard claimed that alcohol dulled his senses and inhibited his powers.

Greyhorn relaxed during the meal and some of the surliness seemed to leak away. Sensing a mellowing attitude, Grantin attempted to turn the conversation to a discussion of the approaching fair at Gist.

"Is the meat cooked enough for you, uncle?" Grantin began.

"Quite satisfactory," Greyhorn allowed.

"You know, uncle, I've been thinking about what you said earlier, about my skill as a cook. Perhaps I should enter something in the fair. What do you think?"

"Fair? I have no time for such things."

"Oh, come now, uncle, you must remember the fair at Gist. It's the biggest of the year. Yes, there are many opportunities at such doings. With just a bit of help I think quite a few triumphs might be arranged."

"What kind of help?" Greyhorn asked as he fixed Grantin with a suspicious glare.

"Well, uncle, you know that occasionally, from time to time, a man makes a few unfortunate enemies-persons of low social status who resent their betters-and these petty jealousies sometimes get in the way of true advancement. There is, for example, the small matter of those peasants, the Bondinis. I paid some slight attention-out of common courtesy, no more-to their daughter. Those ruffians have blown the matter all out of proportion until it now assumes the pattern of a blood feud. They have no sensibilities at all. Imagine attempting to lay hands on the nephew of the great wizard Greyhorn.

"But I have just the plan to settle with them. One or two of your minor spells would render my person inviolate-perhaps something that would discharge balls of green fire to blast the fingers of any who might accost me during my trip to the fair. Ha, ha, that would be a lesson to them, would it not! Those Bondinis would learn to trifle with-"

"Stop, nephew. I perceive where this discussion is going. Perhaps you might like a talisman to bring you good luck at the doughnut toss. The ability to read playing cards from the back sides would be helpful at the fair, would it not? And, of course, a love potion or two for some wandering maiden who is lonely and needs your caress? Are these the sorts of things that, perhaps, you thought might be appropriate baggage for your planned expedition to Gist?"

"Why, uncle, what a marvelous suggestion! I had no idea-"

"Shut up, you imbecile! Of course you had no idea. You never have any idea, you twit! Do you know what magic is?"

Grantin half closed his eyes and dredged up the catechism phrases from the corners of his memory. " 'Magic is the method by which the powers of the heavens and the earth are used by men for-'"

"None of that nonsense prattle! You don't know what magic is, but I will tell you this one last time. Try and get it through your thick head. Magic is the control of the power. The power is not in me. It is not in you. It is not in the Fanists or the Ajaj or the Gogols-or anyone. The power is in the world. It is part of the very stuff of Fane.

"Our spells, our amulets and potions-the words, the motions of the hand, the aspect of the body and the eyes, the tightness of the muscles, the pumping of blood through our veins, all points and parameters of our being-are only a means to control the power. I am a great sorcerer because I have great control over the power. I am a conduit, a conductor. The power flows through me at my bidding like sparks through a lightning rod.

"Do you know why there are very few master sorcerers? Shut your mouth-of course you don't. It's because the more powerful the spell, the more energy the wizard must channel and control. The slightest mistake in the pronunciation of a powerful spell, the minutest deviation from prescribed ritual, will cause the power to go awry. Then it will no longer be conducted through the wizard and onto the object of the spell but will dissipate inside his own body or in some unpredictable locale with an unknowable result. The wizard or his house or family may then be blasted by the energy which he has sought to control.

"Few men wish to take such risks, and of those who do, the incompetent are soon killed. Only the finest wizards, the most powerful men, are able to survive their apprenticeship. That is why no apprentice wizard is allowed to marry. The weak ones are killed without fathering children. Those experts, such as myself and your father and our grandfather, are preserved to pass along the traits of success.

"Were I to throw open my books to you or even allow you to attempt some of my most elementary processes, you would no doubt instantly blast yourself to kingdom come. That is why most men, most creatures on this planet, stick to the simple spell. There the powers which are invoked are so weak that the chance of harm is small. And that is also why, year after year, sons follow the professions of their fathers-because history has shown that their fathers had the skill, the innate, inborn, inbred instinct, to safely manipulate the incantations native to their craft. So the chances are higher that the son will also succeed in that same occupation.

"Now, you ask me to manipulate a few simple spells for you as if it were no more effort than pouring a glass of water. You idiot! The greater the energies which I control, the more of my own energy I must expend. Spells are not free. It is effort. It is work to achieve the desired goal. Each time I call upon the powers I tire myself, I weaken a bit. If someday I strain myself too far, I may weaken to the point where I make a mistake and become the instrument of my own death.