Аманда Хокинг - Flutter

“Yeah, what?” Jane sounded bored.

“Jane?” I asked tentatively. “Where are you?”

“Out. Your place was a drag,” Jane yawned.

“Really? You’re calling us a ‘drag?’” I asked. Mae peered at me with infinite concern, but Jack rolled his eyes and walked to the other side of the room.

“No, you’re not.” Jane sighed loudly. “Look, I know you guys have been really good to me, and I appreciate all your hospitality. But… the thing is, I need a bite.”

“We have food here, Jane. You didn’t need to-”

“No, not a bite to eat!” Jane cut me off. “I need to be bitten.”

“But… No,” I shook my head. “We just got you out of there! That life is bad for you, and you know it!”

“Jonathan is probably bad for me, and I got a little carried away on Halloween.” Jane made it sound like she had a shot too many at an office party. She had almost died because a vampire was eating her throat.

“But I still love the way it feels, and I’ve just been craving it.”

“Jane!” I shouted, incredulous. “No! You will die if you keep it up!”

“I don’t think I will, but so be it.” There was noise behind her, and Jane sounded in a hurry when she spoke again. “I gotta go. Thanks for everything, though, Alice. I’m sure I’ll see you again.”

“No, Jane! Wait!” I said, but she’d already hung up.

“What’s going on? Where is she?” Mae asked.

“I don’t know.” I shook my head and tried calling her again, but it went right to voicemail.

“Dammit.

She shut off her phone.”

“What did she say? Why did she leave?” Mae was getting even more panicked.

“She, um…” I considered lying to Mae, but what was the point? “She wanted to go get bit. I guess she’s going back to being a bloodwhore.”

“No!” Mae’s eyes widened with terror. “She can’t! She’ll die!”

“I know. I told her that,” I was taken back by her intensity, and I looked to Jack for help.

“Mae, she’s a junkie,” Jack said, not unkindly. Considering how much he currently disliked Mae and Jane, he was handling this quite well. “The last high had started wearing off from being bit, and she had to go out and get another fix. You can’t keep her here for a couple days and expect to cure her.”

“No. She was doing so well,” Mae shook here head fiercely. “I refuse to believe she willingly went back out there. I’ve got to find her.”

“Mae, the sun is about to come up.” I gestured to the windows. No light ever spilled in around the curtains, but I could feel when the sun rose and set. It was a weird vampire tick. “She’s probably crashing somewhere for awhile. She won’t even be able to find a vampire until night fall.”

“You don’t know that!” Mae insisted. “I’m going out after her.”

“Mae!” I went to stop her as she left the room, but Jack put his hand on my arm.

“Let her go,” Jack said. “She’s not going to listen to reason anymore than Jane will.”

“You’re right.” I ran my hands through my hair and stared out the door. Across the hall, Mae had left Peter’s bedroom door open, and I could see into the empty disaster that had been Jane’s space. “Do you think we should go after?”

“Where?” Jack stared across the hall at the same thing I was. “Do you know where she went?”

“No. It feels weird just letting Jane go, though.” I chewed my lip.

“You can’t save her if she doesn’t want to be saved,” Jack smiled sadly at me. I knew he was right, but I just hated that way it felt. We had gone through a lot of trouble to get her here, and Bobby had risked his life. I thought Jane had really seen the error of her ways, but she was just looking for a place to crash. Jack put his hand on my back, and I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder. “I probably say this way too much, but it’s going to be okay, Alice. Honest.”

“I know.” I wasn’t sure if I really believe it, but I had to hope it was true. Jack kissed the top of my head, then pulled away from me. “Hey, where are you going?”

“Taking a rain check on tonight.” He went over to the closet and changed into his pajamas.

When he walked out, he was still pulling his shirt on over his head. “The mood is kind of destroyed.”

“I can reset the mood,” I offered with a smile, but it felt plastic even to me. I wanted to want him, but my heart wasn’t really in just then. I knew he could see through it, though, because he almost always sees through me. He walked over to me and I put my hand on his chest, amending my sentiments. “It could be a really good distraction.”

“Probably,” Jack agreed, smiling. “But I’d like to be more than just a distraction.” He kissed my forehead before heading out of the room. “I’ll be in the den if you need me.”

I stayed awake long after Jack had left. I probably should’ve convinced him to stay with me, even if we didn’t do anything. In a house overflowing with people, I felt strangely lonely. After everything I had tried to do for Jane, it had inevitably been a failure. All the worry and strife, and it hadn’t amounted to anything.

Even if I saved her today, what about tomorrow? Or the day after? Eventually she would die, and all my efforts would amount to decomposing in the dirt. Everything suddenly felt really pointless, but I tried to shake it off and just get some sleep.

Jack once again started the day with an apartment hunt, which I once again declined. It had taken forever for me to fall asleep, and I wasn’t up to it. I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to move out, but by now, I knew that I didn’t have a choice. Peter had made it perfectly clear that cohabitating with him would be impossible, and considering Jack had actually been alive for over forty years, it was about time that he started living on his own.

I hadn’t been awake for that long when Jack returned. I had started gathering clothes to take a shower, but then I noticed the state of our bathroom. Mae was still gone, determined to rescue Jane, and I thought as a nice treat for her return, I’d get all our towels down and actually clean the bathroom. I pulled my hair back in a messy bun and got out the Comet and got to work. I was scrubbing dried toothpaste and shaving cream off the sink when I heard Jack bounding up the stairs.

“Alice!” Jack shouted. “I’ve got great news!”

“What?” I came out of the bathroom, and I know I looked hot. I had on this yellow rubber gloves to keep my hands from getting all mucky, and I was still holding the Comet soaked sponge. My pajamas were had water and soap splattered on them, and my hair was falling out my bun.

“What are you doing?” Jack gave me a perplexed look, but his delight was unmistakable.

Whenever he was happy, I had no choice but to be happy. His eyes were even sparkling.

“Cleaning, but never mind.” I tossed the sponge back in the bathroom, since I doubted I needed it to converse with Jack. “What’s your great news?”

“I got us a place!” Jack beamed, and I’m sure it was struggle for him to keep from jumping up and down. I smiled because he was, but the nerves in belly tightened.

“Already?” I asked, and somehow managed to keep the unease out of my voice.

“Yeah! I know you haven’t seen it, but it’s perfect! It’s absolutely perfect! You’ll love it!”

He’d already fallen in love with the place, and I could feel it coming off of him in waves. “I had to put money down because it’s so hard to find a place that matched all our needs, and it would get scooped up crazy fast. But I set up a time for you to see it tomorrow, and if you don’t like it, the deal’s off. I won’t make you move anywhere you don’t want to, but this place was just so perfect.”