Аманда Хокинг - Flutter

“And I wanted it returned.” He tried to reach for it but I pulled it back before he could grab it. He didn’t chase after it, but he didn’t look amused either. Instead, he just held his hand out to me, waiting for me to give it to me. “Can I have it back please?”

“I was reading it. I want to know how it ends.” I opened it, flipping the pages and trying to skim through it. He was glowering at me over the top of the book, so I couldn’t really pay that much attention, and it had been awhile since I read it, so I couldn’t even remember where I left off. It didn’t really read like a novel, either, but rather it was part diary, part how-to manual.

“Rosebud is the sled,” Peter replied flippantly, giving away the ending to Citizen Kane instead.

“Why don’t you want me to read this?” I asked sincerely and looked up at him.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to read it,” Peter said, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes, so I had a feeling that he wasn’t being entirely truthful.

“Then why did you take it from my room?”

“Because I…” He floundered for a minute, a very rare occurrence with him, and rubbed at his eyes. “I just didn’t want you have it anymore!” I had never made him this distressed and irritated before, and I rather enjoyed it. Usually he was the one driving me nuts. “Do you remember when I took it?”

“Yeah, it was the night you snuck into my room.” It was hard to forget. He had done more than just sneak in that night. He’d bitten me as well, but I hadn’t even really known what happened until days later. I had just believed it was all a dream.

“And I bit you.” His eyes shifted and his heartbeat changed. He had deep emotions buried in with biting me, but I couldn’t tell what they were. “Your blood tasted of Jack, and… so I didn’t want you to have the book anymore.”

“This is your book, isn’t it?” I didn’t mean to taunt him anymore. There was something apologetic and sad in his demeanor. “I mean, you wrote this, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” Peter sounded almost regretful. “So you can understand why I wouldn’t want you to have it after everything that happened with Jack.”

“I do.” I held the book out to him so he would take it, but he just looked at it for a moment then looked up at me.

“Do you still want to read it?” Peter asked thickly.

“Only if you wouldn’t mind,” I admitted.

“I don’t think it really matters to you what I mind.” His voice was barely audible, and he turned away from me, leaning his back against his bed.

“That’s not fair, Peter!” I protested. His accusation stung much deeper than I would’ve liked.

“I’ve been doing everything I possibly can to make it up to you!”

“I know you have,” Peter sighed. “Just take the book. Read it. It’ll take your mind off how hungry you are so you can finally fuck Jack.”

My jaw dropped. That was exactly what I was trying to do, but I really didn’t appreciate him knowing that. Especially when I had been trying to make amends with him. He didn’t need to throw it in my face like that. He made it sound dirty and bad, when it was something perfectly natural and reasonable. Still, it hurt and pissed me off, so I threw the book at his chest and stormed past him.

“Alice, wait!” Peter groaned and grabbed my arm, stopping me from escaping his room.

“I’m sorry.

That was uncalled for.”

“You’ve gotta meet me half way,” I was almost pleading with him, and I was surprised that tears were stinging at my eyes. “I have been trying and trying. And even Jack is trying. But you gotta help me out here.

You’ve gotta…” I trailed off and looked away.

“Why is it so important to you that I forgive you?” Peter asked quietly.

That really was the question at the heart of it all. Why did it matter to me so much what Peter thought of me? It wasn’t even just about getting him and Jack to repair their relationship, or tying to make amends for damaging the family. It was something more than that, something that I couldn’t quite explain.

“Why did you come back?” I whispered, unwilling to look at him. His hand was burning warm on my arm, and I knew that I should shake it away, but I didn’t.

“You asked me to.” His brow furrowed with confusion.

“No, not from Finland. I mean that night that you took the book. You’d been gone for months, and then, suddenly, one night, you appeared in my room and you drank my blood.” I bit my lip, and I didn’t even know why I was asking. Or why I’d even care anymore about that night. “Did you really want my blood that badly?”

“Your blood is divine,” Peter admitted sadly. “But I always wanted more than that.” He exhaled huskily, staring intently at me. “What is it about you? You were more than just a human, and even now that I’m not bonded with you…” He trailed off, but I finally lifted my eyes to meet his. “Why can’t I resist you?”

I inhaled deeply, breathing him when I should’ve been running away. His skin was scorching against mine, but I felt my own body hurrying to match his temperature. His green eyes were burning so intensely I couldn’t look away. The sound of his heartbeat rippled pleasurably through me. The air was so thick with the scent and feel of him that I could almost taste it, and I wanted to taste him. I wanted him in the most visceral way.

Suddenly his lips were on mine, and I honestly can’t say if I moved to him or if he moved to me, but I definitely didn’t resist. His kisses were rough and soft all at once, and I kissed him fiercely.

There was no room for breathing, but I barely noticed. Burying my fingers in his thick, silky hair, I pulled myself as close to him as I could get. His muscles were like granite forming to my body, and he wrapped his arms around me, crushing me to him. His mouth tasted amazingly sweet, and I wanted more, so much more.

The blinding hunger was surging through me, mixing bloodlust with passion. It was almost impossible to contain. All my sense were blurring together into one. I could taste what I felt, and I couldn’t see anything.

My pulse was pounding in time with his, heavy and warm. And he smelled so delicious I could barely stand it.

My body literally burned for him, like my skin was covered in flames and the only relief would come if I bit him.

He was kissing me just as ferociously, and gently, almost playfully I pressed my teeth against his lip. I didn’t bite him exactly, but I was testing the waters to see if I could. Peter moaned huskily, and the sound of his voice radiated through me. He would gladly let me bite him, let me drink the wonderful the elixir that flowed through him, and I wanted to. I wanted him so badly it was painful.

Just before my teeth sunk into him, something inside me had a moment of sanity and screamed Jack.

I’d like to say that just like that, I was snapped out of it, but I wasn’t. Thinking of Jack made me hesitate before I bit Peter, but it didn’t change how badly I still wanted to. Everything about Peter was designed so I’d want him. His blood, his touch, his smell, everything, really had been meant for me.

Admittedly, I loved Jack, but the physical shell of Peter was everything my body had been made to want.

That’s a hard thing to resist, especially when I was ravenous as I was.

Somehow, I managed to free my mouth from his, but I stayed in his arms, holding him to me. Peter started kissing my neck, and as wonderful as it would feel to have him bite me, I did not want to be bitten. I was starving, and losing more blood would only make it worse. In the end, it was my intense hunger that saved me.

“No,” I moaned and tried to detangle myself from his arms. Either he didn’t hear me or he didn’t want to listen, because he kept hanging on to me, his lips trailing down to the sensitive skin of my collarbone.