Аманда Хокинг - Wisdom

“Hi, Mom,” Milo swallowed hard. He squeezed my hand even tighter. His heart hammered in his chest, and so did mine.

“Is that really you?” She reached out as if she meant touch him. When her hand got close, she let it fall to the side and just stared at him. “When you walked past, I thought…

You look so much like your father.” Mom never talked about our father, except occasionally to say that he had done nothing to help take us.

“Thanks?” Milo replied uncertainly.

Behind us, they had closed the casket and started wheeling it out to the hearse. The funeral had officially ended, so everyone filtered out around us, but we didn’t move.

“That private school must be sitting well with you.” Mom continued gaping at Milo.

“Uh, yeah,” Milo fumbled. Mom believed that he was attending a private school in New York, but that was a lie to explain his sudden absence. She thought I had taken off to live with Jack, and that was true.

“You’ve really grown.” Her voice cracked. “You both have. You look really good, Alice.

You’ve grown up into fine young adults.” A thin smile spread out across her face. “You did blossom without me.”

“Mom, that’s not true,” Milo rushed to ease her guilt.

“When did you get in?” Mom asked, thinking that he’d flown in from New York for the funeral.

Her tissue was balled up in her hand, and I couldn’t believe that she had cried over Jane. I didn’t even know what she was doing here. She liked Jane well enough, I guess, but she’d hardly knew her.

“Yesterday,” Milo said, continuing the lie. “I was gonna visit-”

“No, I understand,” Mom shook her head. “Your sister needed you.” She looked away for a moment, then turned to me. “I wanted to call you on your birthday last week, but I didn’t think you’d answer.”

“You should’ve called,” I said.

“Would you have answered?” Mom asked pointedly, and I dropped my eyes. “I know you have a life of your own now. I didn’t mean to intrude on it by coming here-”

“No, you didn’t intrude,” I said quickly. Tears welled in her eyes, and I had never seen her look so fragile before. Drunk, tired, irritated, those were her three basic moods.

“Jane had been a very good friend to you over the years, and I thought I owed it to her to thank her for taking such good care of you.” Mom discreetly dabbed at her eyes. “I am truly sorry for your loss, Alice.”

“Thank you,” I said, unsure of what else to say.

“I don’t need to bother the two of you anymore, so I’ll be on my way,” Mom said rather abruptly and turned to walk away from us.

“Mom, wait.” Milo let go of my hand and rushed over to her.

Before she could respond, he threw his arms around her and hugged her. I was afraid he might accidentally hurt her, but she didn’t seem to be in pain when she hugged him back. Fresh tears streamed down his cheek.

“I love you.”

“I know you do, sweetie. I love you too.” Mom rubbed his back for minute, then pulled away from him.

“I’ll come visit you before I leave,” Milo promised, sniffling. She put her hands on his cheeks, smiling at him.

“You don’t need to do that. You just get back to school,” Mom said, her words thick with tears. “You need to get a good education so you can have a life of your own. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.” She dropped her hands from his face, that sad smile hanging on her face. “Take care of your sister, okay?”

“Okay,” Milo nodded.

She pulled her black flowy dress around her and walked away from us. Milo wiped at his cheeks with the palms of his hands, clearing away all his tears, and I walked over to him.

I chewed my lip and stared after our mother as she walked out of the church. I should’ve hugged her, but when she was standing there, I just didn’t feel it in me. I could hardly speak, let alone move.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah. Are you?” He was still trying not to cry. “Sorry. I’m being such a baby.”

“No, you’re being Milo,” I forced a smile at him.

The church was completely deserted now. Jack had been hiding in the back, giving us a private moment. Once Mom was gone, he walked over to us.

“That was your mom, wasn’t it?” Jack asked.

“It sure was.” I took a deep breath to keep from crying again.

“Are you holding up alright?” Jack shoved his hands in the pockets of his suit.

“I’m as good as I can be,” I said.

“That was kind of intense, wasn’t it?” Milo asked me. “I really didn’t think I’d ever see her again.”

“Are you glad you did?” Jack asked.

“Yeah.” Milo chewed his lip. “Yeah, definitely. I needed some closure. I think we both did.”

I’m not sure if he was talking about him and Mom, or him and me, but either way, I didn’t feel like I’d gotten any closure. I just felt even more shaken up than I had before.

Milo was in a much better mood on the car ride home, almost to the point of being giddy. All the crying had some kind of cleansing effect on him. I wish it did the same for me.

When we got home, Bobby sat cross-legged on the kitchen island, dipping celery into peanut butter.

“How was it?” Bobby asked.

“Good, in a really weird way,” Milo told him.

“Where’s my dog?” Jack noticed her absence instantly. He loosened his tie and looked around for Matilda. Every time he walked into the house, she was a giant white ball of fur that attacked him.

“She’s outside with Leif,” Bobby said.

“Leif’s over again?” Jack muttered as he walked to the French doors that lead out to the backyard.

Leif had been a part of the bloodthirsty vampire pack that had come here to kill Peter, and the rest of us in the process. But Leif had disbanded, and he’d almost died helping us.

Since then, he’d become a vagabond. I’m not really sure where he lived or what he ate (although he assured me he didn’t kill anyone), but every now and then, he would stop by to shower and crash here.

I could never get a real read on how Jack felt about Leif. Jack didn’t seem to trust him, but I think that was only because he couldn’t figure out what Leif’s deal was with me.

If I were him, I wouldn’t get it either. Leif and I had some kinda connection that I couldn’t explain. As soon as I had met him, I had felt it. But it wasn’t sexual or inappropriate. It was just a bond.

Jack went outside in his suit, and by the time I followed him, he was already rolling around in the snow in it. Matilda barked happily at him, her thick fur packed with dirty snow. As soon he’d come out, she’d lost all interest in Leif, I’m sure. She might be the only thing on earth that loved Jack more than I did.

“You’re dressed up,” Leif said, looking me over. He stood off to the side of the house, barefoot on the stone patio.

His brown hair was damp from melting snow, so he slicked it back a bit, as opposed to its normal wild look. His eyes were large and deep brown, reminding me of Milo’s, and I think that’s why I’d always liked him. I couldn’t help but trust anybody that looked like my brother.

“Um, yeah, we were at a funeral.” I rubbed at my bare arms, not because I was cold, but because talking about it made me uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry,” Leif said sincerely. “I hope everything is alright with you.”

“I don’t know if it is,” I shrugged. “But it will be.” He smiled at me, and Jack stopped playing with Matilda so he could stare at us.

“Would you mind if I used your shower?” Leif asked Jack, and he nodded. Ezra had already okayed it for Leif to shower here as often as he wished, but Leif always asked Jack anyway.