Аманда Хокинг - Switched

“I respect your feelings,” Maggie said as carefully as she could. “But I don’t think that I can just abandon her.”

Maggie eyed me up regretfully, and Matt could barely contain his emotions. His fists clenched tightly at his sides, and his eyes had this weird misty quality to them. I couldn’t stand it. In my mind, I started begging Maggie to just let it alone. Matt couldn’t take it anymore. Just please don’t see Mom anymore, please, please, please. I looked at Maggie directly, pleading with her with my eyes, and her expression changed. It went from being apologetically resolute to something sorta foggy. Her eyes had gone blank and her face went lacks.

“I think I’ll stop seeing your mom,” Maggie said softly, almost questioning. I let out a heavy sigh of relief, and she shook her head, clearing it of whatever she was thinking. Her change of heart had happened too quickly for Matt to let go of his anger, but Maggie gave him an easy smile. “Sorry about all that. I guess I should probably get supper started.” She gave me a slightly bewildered look and shook her head again. “The drive must’ve gotten to me.

Um, Wendy, I picked you up some of that sticky rice you love. I think I’ll make that.”

“Alright, that sounds good,” I nodded.

After she went into the kitchen to make supper, Matt excused himself to go downstairs, where he had his home gym set up. I heard Verdi Requiem blasting out through the floorboards a few minutes later, meaning he had a lot more steam to blow off. He’d probably stay down there working through it until supper was ready.

I picked up Roman Architecture off the table and felt the familiar twinge of guilt as I leafed through it. Matt would’ve loved to travel Europe and study, but that would’ve meant leaving me behind, so he never could. As it was, Matt’s high school and college grades had severely suffered because of his constant moving to follow me. Both he and Maggie thought it was in my best interest to go to the best schools, and while those were usually boarding schools, I had never lived in a dorm. They had always assumed that I would completely selfdestruct without their supervision. Matt could’ve lived on campus at other places, but he thought I would destruct without him in particular.

Matt never held a job, not a real one, because we moved so much. He has a degree and completed an internship, but then we had to move. And move again. Maggie used to be a child psychologist but she hasn’t worked since I was like eight or nine, when she finally gave up on the whole thing. I get kicked out of school, we transfer, and everyone starts over again. I have been completely ruining their lives, and I cannot wait until I’m eighteen and on my own and I can finally let them live their lives in peace.

Cafeteria food is a plague on mankind, I’m certain of it. I’ve been to some of the classiest schools in the country, and still found very little that I’d be willing to eat. Sometimes I’m surprised I don’t starve to death. All I can taste is salt and preservatives and vomit. I had gotten a tray because I was absolutely famished, but as soon as I started pushing it down the tray line, I felt that familiar wave of nausea as I was forced to smell everything.

“Generally, people, you know, get food here,” Patrick commented. He had grabbed a tray right behind me, and he was watching as I slid past all the offerings (macaroni and “cheese,” pizza, mashed potatoes, canned corn) without taking any.

“I find that hard to believe,” I scoffed. Patrick had loaded up on the macaroni and pizza, but turned down the corn. But he was over six foot and growing, so none of that would show on his waistline.

“You’re not one of those anorexic girls, are you?” Patrick asked, eyeing me up sincerely.

“No, I am definitely not one of those girls!” I shook my head. We had reached the end of the line where they had a few sorry looking lettuce leafs, a bowl of oranges, and red Jell-o cubes. Luckily, my love for Jell-o is Biblical and I loaded up my plate. “But if I was, I probably wouldn’t tell you.”

“Wait.” Patrick thought this over for a minute as I grabbed a bottled water. “Is that your way of telling me that you really are?”

“Nope. I’m not. I’m just saying that when you ask questions like that, you’re usually gonna get the same answer no matter what,” I said. I fumbled in my pocket for the money I owed the cashier, and Patrick narrowed his eyes at me. “When you ask someone if they’re a liar or if they stole that or if they cheated on you. Everybody is always gonna say no, whether they did it or not.

Asking the question doesn’t get you anywhere.”

“I sorta feel like I should make you eat a Big Mac now to prove me wrong.” Patrick took his turn paying the cashier, and I waited for him.

We had been sitting together during lunch the last week or so at school, and that still felt odd to me. I had eaten lunch by myself almost my entire school career. Normally, we sat at a little round table in the corner of the room, underneath a banner for the football team. We were all team spirit.

“Hey, Wendy, wait,” Patrick stopped me when I started heading over to our table. “Let’s sit somewhere else.” Our table was empty, and there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with it, so I didn’t understand the sudden decision to move tables.

“Okay. Where?” I shrugged.

“How about… over there.” Patrick nodded to the opposite side of the room, but there weren’t any tables open. I scanned the crowd, trying to figure out who he’d want to be sitting with… but then I figured it out. Finn had glanced up at me.

“Seriously?” I scoffed. “You wanna sit with him?”

“Come on, Wen.” Patrick looked at me imploringly, and then looked over at where Finn was sitting by himself, opening his bottle of water. “He’s all alone, and he looks so forlorn.”

“No, he doesn’t. He looks thirsty,” I watched Finn take a long drink of water.

“You know how much it sucks being the new kid,” Patrick insisted.

“Are you like the welcome wagon or something?” I scowled at him. By the expression he was giving me, I knew I’d have little choice in the matter if I wanted to continue a friendship with him. And for some stupid reason, I really did. I exhaled loudly, my sign of defeat, and Patrick grinned broadly. “He’s so creepy, though.”

“He is not.” Patrick had started walking over to the table, so I followed reluctantly after him. “And you know what? I think thou dost protest too much.”

“I know that’s Shakespeare, but I can’t tell how that applies here,” I grumbled.

“You know exactly how that applies here,” Patrick flashed me a knowing look, and I felt my cheeks flush for a second. Maybe I liked Finn more than I was willing to let on, and I definitely didn’t appreciate Patrick catching onto that.

When we got to the table, Finn pretended not to even notice us, making me want to kick him in the shins. I knew that he always noticed me. He had chosen mac and cheese and an orange for lunch, but he seemed to be pushing around the macaroni more than eating it.

“Hey, do you mind if we sit with you?” Patrick asked politely, but before Finn could even answer, I pulled out a chair and sat across from him. I set my tray down with a bit of an excess clatter, making Patrick jump a little, but Finn didn’t move a muscle.

“Sure,” Finn gestured to the empty chair next to him and finally turned his attention to me. His dark eyes were rather mesmerizing, which is why I always failed at our staring contests. I didn’t trust anything that hypnotic, so I looked down at my Jell-o cubes and tossed one in my mouth.

“So how do you like school so far?” Patrick asked when he sat down.