Аманда Хокинг - Switched

“I’m not just guessing here, Wendy,” Finn informed with a wry smile.

“I know who are you. I know you are Trylle. That’s why I came looking for you.”

“You’re looking for me?” My jaw dropped. “That’s why you stare at me all the time in school. That’s how you knew where I lived and how you found my bedroom window. You’re stalking me!”

“I’m not stalking,” Finn looked at me defensively. “I’m tracking you.

I’m a tracker. It’s my job. I find the changelings and bring them back.”

Of all the major things that were wrong with this situation, the thing that bothered me the most is when he said it was his job. There hadn’t ever been any attraction between us. He had just been doing his job, and that meant following me. He was stalking me, and I was only upset about it because he was doing it because he had to, not because he wanted to. I really wanted to throw up.

“I know this is a lot to take in,” Finn admitted. “I’m sorry. We usually wait until you’re older and are starting to have signs on your own. But if you’re already using persuasion, then I think you need to head back to the compound.

You’re developing early.”

“I’m what?” I just stared up at him.

“Developing. The psychokinesis,” Finn said like it should be obvious.

“Trylle have varying degrees of abilities. Yours are clearly more advanced.”

“They have abilities?” I swallowed, thinking of the dazed look on Patrick’s face. “Do you have abilities?” Something new occurred to me, twisting my insides. “Can you read my mind?”

“No, I can’t read minds,” Finn replied.

“Are you lying?” I pressed uneasily.

“I won’t lie to you,” Finn promised.

If he hadn’t been so attractive standing in front of me in my bedroom, it would’ve been easier to ignore him in the first place. If I hadn’t felt this ludicrous connection with him, I would’ve thrown him out right away. As it was, it was hard to look into his eyes and not believe him. But after everything he had been saying, there was only one conclusion I could come to.

“Then you must be insane,” I swallowed hard.

“Wendy,” Finn sounded exasperated. “You know I’m not lying.”

“I do,” I nodded. “You believe everything you’re saying, which means you’re insane. And after what I went through with my mom, I’m not ready to let another crazy person into my life. So you have to go.”

“Wendy!” He was in complete disbelief.

“Did you really expect any other reaction from me?” I stood up, keeping my arms crossed firmly in front of me, and I tried to look as confident as I possibly could. “Did you think you could treat me like shit at a dance, then sneak into my room in the middle of the night and tell me that I am a troll with magical powers, and I’d just be like, yeah, that sounds right? And what did you even hope to accomplish with this? What were you trying to get me to do?”

“You’re supposed come with me back to the compound,” Finn said, defeated.

“And you thought I would just follow you right out?” I smirked to hide the fact that I was really tempted to do that. Even if he was insane.

“They usually do,” Finn replied in a way that completely unnerved me.

Really, that answer is what completely lost me. I might have been willing to follow his delusions because I liked him a lot more than I should, but when he made it sound like there had been lots of other girls willing to do the same thing before me, it was kind of a turn off. Crazy, I could deal with. Slutty, not so much.

“You need to go,” I told him firmly.

“You need to think about this. This is obviously different for you than it is for everyone else, and I understand that. So I’ll give you time to think about it.” He turned and opened the window. “But there is a place that you belong.

There is a place where you have family. So just think about it.”

“Definitely,” I gave him a plastic smile.

He started to lean out the window, and I walked closer to him so I’d be able to shut the window behind him. Then he stopped and turned to look at me. He felt dangerously close to me, his eyes full of something smoldering just below the surface. When he looked at me like that, he took all the air from my lungs, and I wondered if this is how Patrick felt when I persuaded him.

“I almost forgot,” Finn said softly, his face so close to mine I could feel his breath on my cheeks. “You looked really beautiful tonight.” He stayed that way a moment longer, completely captivating me, then abruptly he turned and climbed out the window.

I stood there, barely remembering to breathe, as I watched him grab onto a branch of the tree next to my house and swing down to the ground. A cool breeze fluttered in, so I closed the window. In case he still might be lurking somewhere outside, I pulled my curtains shut tightly. Feeling very dazed, I staggered back to my bed and collapsed on it. I had never felt more bewildered in my entire life.

Naturally, I barely got any sleep. What little I had was filled with dreams of little green trolls coming to take me away. I laid in bed for hours after I woke up, trying to put everything in perspective. Everything felt muddled and confusing. I couldn’t let myself believe that anything Finn had said made sense, but I couldn’t discount how badly I wanted it to be true. I had never felt like I belonged anywhere. Until recently, Matt had been the only person I had ever felt any connection with.

Lying in bed at six-thirty in the morning, I could hear the morning birds chirping loudly outside my window, probably sitting in the same tree that Finn had used to get to my room. Everyone in the house was asleep, and it was completely silent. I thought of my brother, laying in his bed a few doors down, and Maggie across the hall from him. Both of them sleeping contentedly, unaware of anything going on.

Quietly, I got up and crept downstairs. I didn’t want to wake them this early. Matt got up with me every day to make sure that I was awake and drove me to school, so this was his only time to sleep in. Maggie didn’t get up until nine or ten most days, but I had never faulted her for that. Matt had always been a morning person, but Maggie and I couldn’t stand them.

For some reason, I felt desperate to find something to prove we were family. All my life I had been trying to prove the opposite, but as soon as Finn had mentioned that it might be a real possibility, I felt oddly protective. Maggie and Matt had sacrificed everything for me. I had never been that good to either of them, but they had loved me unconditionally, as they proved time and time again. Wasn’t that evidence enough?

I crouched on the floor next to one of the cardboard boxes behind the couch in the living room. Maggie’s pretty cursive had scrawled across it the word “memorabilia.” That was her code word for family stuff. Matt had more of a revulsion for our family than I did, so Maggie used less offensive words to keep him from getting riled up. She never actually unpacked any of the pictures or anything, because the last time she had Matt had smashed all the picture frames. Admittedly, that had been almost ten years ago, but I was betting that his reaction now would have only lessened slightly.

Underneath Matt and Maggie’s diplomas and lots of Matt’s graduation photos, I found several photo albums. Based on the covers, I could tell which ones had been Maggie’s purchases. My mother had only had one with a faded brown non-descript cover. Maggie picked albums covered in flowers and polka dots and happy things. Below the oldest photo album, there was a damaged blue baby book. Carefully, I pulled it out, along with my mom’s photo album.

My baby book had been blue because all the ultrasounds had said I was a boy. Tucked in the back of the book there was even a cracked ultrasound photo where the doctor had circled what they had incorrectly assumed was my penis. Most families would have made some kind of joke about that, but not mine. Mom had just looked at me with disdain and said, “You were supposed to be a boy.”