Joe Abercrombie - The Heroes

They milled about a little, a long way from won over. Time to list the pedigree. Bragging weren’t his strong suit these days but there’d be no prize for modesty. ‘My name’s Curnden Craw, and I’m thirty years a Named Man! I stood Second to Rudd Threetrees, back in the day.’ That name got a nodding rustle of approval. ‘The Rock of Uffrith himself. Held a shield for him when he fought his duel with the Bloody-Nine.’ That name got a bigger one. ‘Then I fought for Bethod, and now Black Dow. Every battle you pricks heard of I had a part in.’ He curled his lip. ‘So safe to say you needn’t worry about whether I’m up to the task.’ Even if Craw was worrying his bowels loose over it himself. But his voice rang out gruff and deep still. Thank the dead for his hero’s voice, even if time had given him a coward’s guts.

‘I want each man here to do the right thing today!’ he roared. ‘And before you start sneering and I’m forced to stick my boot up your arse, I ain’t talking about patting children on the head, or giving your last crust to a squirrel, or even being bolder’n Skarling once the blades are drawn. I ain’t talking about acting the hero.’ He jerked his head towards the stones around them. ‘You can leave that to the rocks. They won’t bleed for it. I’m talking about standing by your Chief! Standing with your crew! Standing with the man beside you! And above all I’m talking about not getting yourselves fucking killed!’

He picked Beck out with a pointed finger. ‘Look at this lad here. Red Beck, his name.’ Beck’s eyes went wide as the whole front rank of killers turned to look at him. ‘He did the right thing yesterday. Stuck in a house in Osrung with the Union breaking down the door. Listened to his Chief. Stood with his kind. Kept his head. Put four o’ the bastards in the mud and came through alive.’ Maybe Craw was flowering up the truth a little but that was the point of a speech, wasn’t it? ‘If a lad o’ seventeen years can keep the Union out of a shack, I reckon men o’ your experience should have no trouble keeping ’em off a hill like this one here. And since everyone knows how rich the Union is … no doubt they’ll leave plenty behind ’em as they go running down that slope, eh?’ That got a bit of a laugh at least. Nothing worked like tickling their greed.

‘That’s all!’ he bellowed. ‘Find your places!’ And he hopped down, little wobble as his knee jarred but at least he kept standing. No applause, but he reckoned he’d won enough of ’em over not to get stabbed in his back before the battle was done. And in this company that was about as much as he could’ve hoped for.

‘Nice speech,’ said Wonderful.

‘You reckon?’

‘Not sure about the whole right thing bit, though. You have to say that?’

Craw shrugged. ‘Someone should.’

‘You may have heard some commotion this morning.’ Colonel Vallimir gave the assembled officers and sergeants of his Majesty’s First Regiment a stern glance. ‘That was the sound of a raid by the Northmen.’

‘That was the sound of someone fucking up,’ muttered Tunny. He’d known that as soon as he heard the clamour floating across from the east. There’s no better recipe for fuck-ups than night-time, armies and surprises.

‘There was some confusion on the front line …’

‘Further fuck-ups,’ muttered Tunny.

‘Panic spread in the darkness …’

‘Several more,’ muttered Tunny.

‘And …’ Vallimir grimaced. ‘The Northmen made off with two standards.’

Tunny opened his mouth a crack, but he lacked the words for that. A disbelieving murmur went through the gathering, clear in spite of the wind shaking the branches. Vallimir shouted them down.

‘The standards of the Second and Third were captured by the enemy! General Mitterick is …’ The colonel gave the impression of choosing his words with great care. ‘Not happy.’

Tunny snorted. Mitterick wasn’t happy at the best of times. What effect having two of his Majesty’s standards stolen from under his nose might have on the man was anyone’s guess. Probably if you stuck a pin in him right now he’d explode and take half the valley with him. Tunny realised he was clutching the standard of the First with extra-special care, and made his fists relax.

‘To make matters a great deal worse,’ Vallimir went on, ‘apparently we were sent orders to attack yesterday afternoon and they never reached us.’ Forest gave Tunny a hard look sideways but he could only shrug. Of Lederlingen there was still no sign. Possibly he’d volunteered for desertion. ‘By the time the next set came it was dark. So Mitterick wants us to make up for it today. As soon as there’s light, the general will launch an assault on Clail’s Wall in overwhelming force.’

‘Huh.’ Tunny had heard a lot about overwhelming force the last few days and the Northmen were still decidedly underwhelmed.

‘The wall at this far western end he’s going to leave to us, though. The enemy cannot possibly spare enough men to hold it once the attack is underway. As soon as we see them leave the wall, we cross the river and take them in the flank.’ Vallimir slapped one hand with the other to illustrate the point. ‘And that’ll be the end of them. Simple. As soon as they leave the wall, we attack. Any questions?’

What if they don’t leave the wall? was the one that immediately occurred, but Tunny knew a great deal better than to make himself conspicuous in front of a crowd of officers.

‘Good.’ Vallimir smiled as though silence meant the plan must be perfect, rather than just that his men were too thick, eager or cautious to point out its shortcomings. ‘We’re missing half our men and all our horses, but that won’t stop his Majesty’s First, eh? If everyone does his duty today, there’s still time for all of us to be heroes.’

Tunny had to choke off his scornful laughter as the thick, eager, cautious officers broke up and began to drift into the trees to make their soldiers ready. ‘You hear that, Forest? We can all be heroes.’

‘I’ll settle for living out the day. Tunny, I want you to get up to the treeline and keep a watch on the wall. Need some experienced eyes up there.’

‘Oh, I’ve seen it all, Sergeant.’

‘And then some more, I don’t doubt. The very instant you see the Northmen start to clear out, you give the signal. And Tunny?’ He turned back. ‘You won’t be the only one watching, so don’t even think about pulling anything clever. I still remember what happened with that ambush outside Shricta. Or what didn’t happen.’

‘No evidence of wrongdoing, and I’m quoting the tribunal there.’

‘Quoting the tribunal, you’re a piece of work.’

‘First Sergeant Forest, I am crushed that a colleague would hold so low an opinion of my character.’

‘What character?’ called Forest after him as he threaded his way uphill through the trees. Yolk was crouched in the bushes pretty much where they’d been crouching all night, peering across the stream through Tunny’s eyeglass.

‘Where’s Worth?’ Yolk opened his mouth. ‘On second thought, I can guess. Any signs of movement?’ Yolk opened his mouth again. ‘Other than in Trooper Worth’s bowels, that is?’

‘None, Corporal Tunny.’

‘Hope you don’t mind if I check.’ He snatched the eyeglass without waiting for an answer and scanned along the line of the wall, uphill from the stream, towards the east, where it disappeared over a hump in the land. ‘Not that I doubt your expertise …’ There was no one in front of the drystone but he could see spears behind it, a whole lot of them, just starting to show against the dark sky.

‘No movement, right, Corporal?’

‘No, Yolk.’ Tunny lowered his eyeglass and gave his neck a scratch. ‘No movement.’