Макс Фрай - The Stranger

“Almost,” he nodded distractedly. “What else can I offer you? I think a good dose of nostalgia would do the trick. Hellika!”

The smiling tavern-keeper hurried over, put a tray with a cup on the table silently, and disappeared as quietly and abruptly as a shadow.

“She is a shadow,” Sir Mackie said, seconding my thought. “But a very sweet one. Well, are you happy?”

I looked at the cup. That smell . . . Kamra is, of course, an excellent thing. But nothing beats the smell of . . . good coffee !

“I’m going to cry!” I said. “Sir Mackie, I’m in your debt forever.”

“Don’t bandy words like that around. It’s very dangerous, especially in your case. Your words sometimes possess a special power, and some of your wishes do, too. They come true, you know. I think this World is going to see some interesting times ahead, if you don’t become old and wise in the very near future. But neither one nor the other is likely to happen any time soon, I reckon.”

“Sir Mackie, do you always speak in riddles?”

“Only some of the time. The rest of the time I’m silent as the grave. So just be patient.”

“No problem,” I nodded, and greedily slurped down another gulp of coffee. “Now I’m going to have a smoke—and you can do whatever you like with me. I’ll agree to anything.”

“Is that right? By the way, your sense of duty isn’t very strong. If Juffin were in your shoes he would already have fired a dozen questions at me, made a few million deductions, and formed a hypothesis. Don’t you plan to interrogate me about the mysterious fate of Kettari?”

“I know that you’ll only tell me what you consider necessary for me to know. And you’ll tell me that without any prompting on my part.”

“Bravo!” Sir Mackie said. “I can’t help but envy Juffin. It’s very easy to deal with you.”

“I feel the same way,” I agreed. “But I wasn’t like this before. Juffin’s jokes and lots of good food will turn anyone into an angel.”

“Juffin’s jokes? That’s funny. He used to be the gloomiest fellow in Kettari. I had to work two hundred years to get him to crack a smile. The smile came out crooked, but at least he tried.”

I stared at my conversation partner in disbelief.

“Aw, come on! As though I had nothing better to do than sit here and lie to you! So you thought he was born old, wise, cheerful, and with a silver spoon in his mouth to boot? My, oh my, Max. You and I are the lucky ones. There’s nobody left to gossip about my youth, and you’re growing up so fast there won’t be time for your mistakes to stick in anyone’s memory. Well then, drink down your strange brew before it gets cold. If you want more, you’ll have it. Today’s your lucky day. I have to make up for my sins. It’s my fault you nearly went off your head about the Kettari maps. I was surprised you even noticed!”

“Well, it was just by chance. I have that habit of first looking for where I live on any map.”

“All the same, good for you. But why did you get so agitated about it? Another habit?”

“Indeed. By the way, you promised me a refill.”

“Are you always in such a hurry, Max?”

“No. I usually sit on the toilet for a long time.”

“Bread has to sit before it rises, too. At least you do something thoughtfully.” Mackie hid his smile under his ruddy whiskers.

Suddenly the mistress appeared again out of nowhere, carrying another tray. Then again, a shadow is a shadow.

“Okay,” I said, starting in on a second cup of coffee with gusto. “I guess I’ll have to play along and ask this question: What’s happening in Kettari?”

“You already had the right idea,” said Mackie, taking a swig of coffee from my cup before setting it down in disgust. “Are you sure you can drink that stuff? It won’t make you sick?”

I shook my head, then asked:

“You’re talking about the line I gave Lonli-Lokli, about the ‘other world,’ and how there are many Other Worlds, aren’t you?”

“Of course. I don’t object to that explanation. You see, Kettari really doesn’t exist anymore. Or, rather, it exists—you can see that for yourself—but it’s not where it should be, and it doesn’t exist in the ordinary sense of the word.”

“And the local inhabitants?” I asked with a sinking heart. “They seemed quite ordinary to me.”

“They are. True, they had to die when their time came, but not for long, and . . . just ‘for pretend.’ You found an excellent little word for it; I’ll have to remember it! They think that they live in the Unified Kingdom, just like they did before, and they have no evidence to the contrary. They can always go wherever they like. They can invite their relatives to visit them; only they know it’s best to go out to meet them so they won’t get lost. It is a small inconvenience that ‘the roads around Kettari are in terrible condition since the time of the Great Battle for the Code,’ and so forth. So when you leave, you must have a good protective amulet: a guide, a key to the Door between Worlds. I think you like metaphors like that, or am I wrong?”

“Sure I like them!” I said. “So I was right? Kettari is another World altogether, like my homeland?”

“Well, not exactly like your homeland. You were born in a real place—a rather strange one, but real nonetheless. Kettari, in contrast, is the beginning of a new World that will someday become real. The beginning is a wonderful time, a time of marvels, whether we’re talking about a whole World or about a single human life. Oh, by the way, you should try going for a walk outside the city gates. I highly recommend it. For you the walk is completely safe. And when else will you have the opportunity to see absolute emptiness?”

“Are you serious?”

“You bet I am! You must go for an outing. Only do it alone, all right?”

“But I’m alone now! I was abandoned.”

“It’s your own fault. You’re lucky your friend is such a beefy fellow. Narcotic substances from one World sometimes have the most unexpected effects on inhabitants of other Worlds. You’ve experienced that yourself, by the way. Remember what happened to you after just one bowl of that harmless Soup of Repose? And there’s no need to fret. Your friend will be fit as a fiddle in no time.”

“I’m not a bit worried. But how can you know so much about me, Sir Mackie? I understand that for you it’s a trifling matter . . . but why, exactly?”

“What do you mean, ‘why’? Vile little word. After all, you happened to appear in Juffin’s life, so for me you’re a sort of nephew. Excuse me for resorting to such primitive terminology. But they really are like family ties.”

I smiled. This made sense to me.

“Well, now. I think that’s enough for today,” Mackie announced abruptly. “First, walk outside the city, then come back here and we’ll continue our family reunion in the evening. Otherwise I may end up telling you more than will fit into your hapless head.”

“True, that!”

I didn’t know whether to be glad or to regret the sudden end of the conversation. Maybe I really was in need of some time-out.

“Just tell me one thing, please. How should I get home? I mean, which of these maps is right?”

“They all are,” Mackie said with a shrug. “The fact is that I couldn’t remember exactly how Kettari really was arranged, so there are several floating around out there. The bridges connect the fragments of my reminiscences. You see, I had to create Kettari again from scratch, because the real Kettari was completely destroyed. It’s a sad story—and no witnesses remain alive.”

“Some Mutinous Magician or other?” I asked knowingly.

“Who else? And not ‘someone or other,’ but the cream of the crop: Loiso Pondoxo, the Grand Magician of the Order—”