Sean Cullen - The Prince of Neither Here Nor There

Brendan was oblivious to their reaction. He shivered. He felt as though he’d just run a marathon. He reached out to grab Kim’s shoulder, slumping against her. “Wha…? What just happened?” Brendan felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him. He gripped Kim’s arm to stop himself from falling. “Whoa.”

“Just take a deep breath, Brendan. You’ll be okay.”

In a moment, Brendan was feeling better. He looked up to find Kim staring at him. “I can’t believe it,” she breathed.

“What can’t you believe?” Brendan asked.

“Do you know what you just did?” she hissed. “Do you have any idea?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Brendan said, confused. “All I did was tell him to get lost.”

“You really don’t understand.” Kim shook her head. “This is all happening too fast.”

Brendan was tired of the cryptic comments. He pointed an accusing finger at her. “That’s it. I’ve had it. I don’t get you. The more I think about you, the more I think you have some weird agenda.”

Kim didn’t say a word. She scanned the front of the school to see if anyone was watching.

“We’re going to have this out right now,” Brendan continued. “Either you tell me what’s going on or-”

“Or what?” She smirked at him.

Brendan couldn’t think of a good threat. He changed his tack. “I heard you talking to Greenleaf.”

Kim stiffened. “What are you talking about?”

“In the auditorium yesterday! I heard you talking about me.”

“Eavesdropping isn’t very polite,” Kim said quietly.

“Tell me what you were talking about,” Brendan demanded.

“I can’t do that,” Kim said.

The bell rang. Classes were starting. Neither of them moved. Class was forgotten.

“Well, maybe I should go and talk to Mr. Greenleaf.” Brendan started up the steps.

Kim stepped in front of him, blocking his way. “Oh, no you don’t!”

“Why not?” Brendan was secretly delighted that he’d hit a nerve. “What’s he going to tell me?”

Kim was about to respond when she was cut off by the harsh voice of Ms. Abernathy.

“What’s going on out here?” She stood in the open door of the school, glaring at the two truants. “The bell has rung. You are both late.”

Brendan froze. He had never been on the receiving end of a tongue-lashing by Ms. Abernathy. He had only watched others be dressed down by her. He tried to speak but all that came out was a strangled squeak.

“I asked you a question!” Ms. Abernathy barked. “What is going on out here?”

Brendan tried to clear his throat and make an excuse but Kim cut him off. “We’re having a private conversation.”

Brendan had never seen such an expression of complete shock on a human face before. Ms. Abernathy stared in disbelief. “No one speaks to me in that manner.”

“Well, I just did,” Kim said evenly. “Deal with it!”

Brendan thought the vice-principal was going to have a heart attack. Her face turned an interesting shade of puce. Her eyes bulged with outrage. “You… You… You…” the woman stammered.

“We’d like to finish our discussion so why don’t you run along,” Kim said. “Now!”

Ms. Abernathy quivered with rage. She reached out and grabbed Kim by the arm. “You are coming with me, young lady.”

Kim looked slowly down at the offending hand and then back into Ms. Abernathy’s eyes. “First of all, I am not young. Secondly, I am not a lady. Thirdly, take your hand off me if you ever plan on using it again.”

Ms. Abernathy’s mouth dropped open. She was about to speak but something in Kim’s eyes made her snap her mouth shut with a click. She let go of Kim.

“Better,” Kim said simply. A peal of thunder rolled across the sky. The three people on the steps looked up. The sky was clear. There was no imminent threat of rain, just a few white clouds drifting. The thunder rolled again.

“That’s odd,” Ms. Abernathy said softly.

“Uh-oh.” Kim’s voice was filled with dread. “This is gonna be bad.”

Brendan didn’t understand. He looked up into the sky again. Without any warning, a finger of lightning lashed downward from the empty sky, blasting into the middle of the sidewalk with a deafening bang. He was thrown from his feet, skidding along the steps and smacking into the metal railing. He tried to blink away purple spots from his eyes, the aftereffect of the lightning strike. When he could see again, he found himself staring at the most beautiful and terrifying woman he had ever seen.

She was tall and graceful, her long legs sheathed in black, tight-fitting leather trousers. She wore a bodice, 47 brocaded with intricate lightning patterns. Her long, pale blond hair flowed over her shoulders in a wintry cascade. Her face… oh her face!

“So beautiful…” he breathed.

“Ah, nephew!” She smiled. Brendan’s heart shuddered. The sensation was like being smiled at by a hurricane. “At last we meet. They tried to hide you but I’ve found you at last.”

Kim had fallen on the steps beside Ms. Abernathy. She staggered to her feet. “He’s not for you, Orcadia.”

“Ki-Mata,” the woman said, chuckling. “You’re the best they could come up with? How sad.”

Brendan, still dazed, was trying to figure out what was happening. “Who are you?”

The woman smiled her ferocious smile. “I am your aunt Orcadia, my dear child. I’ve come to take you away from these weaklings. Together we have work to do. Together we are destined to do great things.” She took a step closer, and Brendan smelt ozone burning in the air around her. “Together we shall destroy the Humans and take our world back.”

Brendan cringed away from her outstretched hand. She pouted prettily. “Don’t be afraid. I don’t bite.”

“See here.” Ms. Abernathy stepped into Orcadia’s path. “You have no business being on the grounds of Robertson Davies Academy! You must leave at once.”

Brendan couldn’t believe his eyes. Ms. Abernathy was crotchety, mean, and annoying but he had to admit, she had guts. He felt he should warn the vice-principal that she was out of her depth but he was having enough trouble trying to stand up.

Orcadia looked at the vice-principal with a disdainful smile on her perfect face. “I’m not going to leave the grounds. But I’m afraid you are.” She lazily pointed a finger at Ms. Abernathy, and a jagged string of blue energy lanced out from her pale fingertip to engulf the hapless VP. Then, with a negligent flick of the wrist, Orcadia sent Ms. Abernathy cart-wheeling through the air to disappear over the edge of the roof.

Satisfied, Orcadia turned her attention to Brendan and Kim on the steps. “That was fun but I’m losing my patience. Brendan, come along.”

^46 Astigmatism is a visual defect caused by the unequal curving of the refractive surfaces of the eye- usually the cornea, or lens of the eye. Astigmatism therefore makes wearing contact lenses impossible. Astigmatism is also difficult to spell. I like saying astigmatism. Astigmatism. Astigmatism. Astigmatism. Okay, I’m done… astigmatism.

^47 A bodice is a close-fitting, often laced-up top worn over a blouse. Very few people wear bodices any more: vampires, people who want to look like vampires, and the odd evil Faerie.

Brendan looked into Orcadia’s face. Her eyes were icy blue. In fact, her skin had a tinge of azure underlying its pale chalk surface.

“I’m waiting,” Orcadia snapped.

“Orcadia, give it up,” Kim said. “You have no place here. Your actions threaten us all.”

“Shut up, you little fool,” Orcadia hissed. “You have no place here. He’s my nephew, son of my brother Briach Morn. Do not presume to tell me what to do, dung beetle!”