Sean Cullen - The Prince of Neither Here Nor There

When he woke, someone was standing over him. His eyes watered and his head ached. Blinking to clear his vision, he first saw Kim’s scooter, then her frowning face, her head tilted to the side. She looked to be torn between wry amusement and concern.

“Rise and shine!”

“Huh?” Brendan sat up and immediately regretted it. His head pounded. He probed his scalp and found a large goose egg on the side of his skull. He hadn’t broken the skin but it certainly hurt. Okay. That’s three in three days. I have a streak going. “I was being chased. I ran into a tree.”

“Chased by who?” Her eyes narrowed. “Chester and his pals?” She whipped her head around, searching for a threat.

Brendan opened his mouth to answer and promptly snapped it shut again. What was he going to tell her? He was attacked by squirrels? That he’d seen a little man in a fur coat with a slingshot? That the wind was talking to him? He shook his head, wincing again at the pain.

He’d been desperate to question her about Greenleaf but now he felt a little too ridiculous to begin an interrogation. He brushed the dry leaves from his clothes instead and mumbled “Never mind.” Then, with alarm, he gasped, “My bag…” He suddenly realized he’d left it at the bench.

Kim held it out to him. “I found it on the path. It looks like an animal got into it.”

He took it from her and examined it. The straps were gnawed through and his sandwich was missing, but otherwise, everything was accounted for. He opened his mouth to thank her but he almost choked before he could say a word. Something fell out of his mouth. Looking down on the grass, he saw his braces glinting in the weak sunlight.

“Oh no,” Brendan groaned. “My parents are gonna kill me.” He stuck a finger in his mouth and ran it over his teeth, checking to see if they were all accounted for. They felt strange: smooth and even. He had always been self-conscious about his crooked teeth but they didn’t feel crooked any more. He wished he had a mirror. He grabbed the braces and stuffed them into his pocket.

“That’s a shame,” Kim said, offering a hand to help him to his feet. He accepted it and rose to his feet.

“Thanks,” Brendan mumbled.

“Don’t mention it.” Kim raised an eyebrow. “Hmmm.” She studied Brendan, casting her gaze from his head to his feet and back again.

“What hmmm?” Brendan demanded. “Hmmm what?”

“Nothing,” she said softly. “Just thinking. You look… different. Has anything weird happened today?”

He wanted to shout, Yes, I’m totally losing my mind! I was mugged by rodents! Instead he said, “No. Nothing really. I’m fine.”

She eyed him a little longer and then snapped her fingers. “I know what it is! Your glasses! You aren’t wearing them.”

Brendan’s hand automatically went up to his face. She was right. They were gone. He must have lost them while being chased through the park. “Oh, crap. That’s all I need.” He looked around and saw nothing but leaves and grass. “I must have dropped them somewhere…” He stopped short. How can I see the leaves and the grass? I can see everything perfectly without my glasses! As he continued to look around, he marvelled at the clarity of his vision. He’d always worn glasses. He couldn’t get contacts because he had astigmatism. 46 The glasses were practically a part of his body. Now he was seeing with remarkable clarity, better than he’d ever had even wearing glasses. He looked across the park and read the lettering on the side of a van moving along the street. DAN’S PLUMBING: LET ME TAKE A LOOK UP YOUR PIPES! He laughed aloud.

“You seem pretty happy for a guy who’s lost his glasses and run into a tree,” Kim said, arms crossed.

Brendan realized he had a goofy expression on his face. He tried to settle down. “I dunno. Maybe I’m delirious.”

She looked at him critically. She changed the subject. “You were acting really strange last night.”

Brendan shrugged. Wait a minute, he thought. Isn’t this convenient? She just happens to be here every time something weird goes down. Aloud he said, “Yeah, I’m fine. Lucky you just happened to be there, huh. And you just happened to find me here. I guess I’m just lucky, huh?”

“Yeah, you’re lucky. You’re lucky I hang around you at all, dude.” She softened the words with a laugh. “Hop on.” Kim jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “We better motor if we want to be on time. Let’s find your goggles and get outta here.”

“Never mind,” Brendan said. When he saw her puzzled expression, he quickly said, “I’ve got a spare set at home and we’re late already.” He moved to the scooter before she could protest and swung his leg over it. He wrapped his arms around Kim’s waist. She throttled the scooter up and they sped away.

Brendan clung on for dear life as Kim swerved through the trees, the grip of the tires precarious on the dew-slicked grass. He tried to concentrate on the newfound acuity of his sight rather than her breakneck driving. He thrilled at the detail in the trees and leaves, the intricate patterns in the clouds. When they came to the road, Kim didn’t slow down, timing their arrival at the intersection perfectly with the changing of the lights. She shot through a crosswalk, weaving deftly among pedestrians and cyclists and skidding to a stop at the front steps of the school.

Brendan dismounted, his knees wobbling. “Thanks for not doing any wheelies.”

“No problem,” Kim said with a wink. “Next time!”

“Ooooo! Look at Brendan and his girlfriend.” The mocking voice of Chester Dallaire assaulted Brendan’s ears. “Or is it boyfriend? I can’t tell! She’s more like a guy than a girl!”

Chester sat on the steps with a pair of his cronies, Dean Spitz and Abdul Khun. They all shared an appreciation for the finer things in life: bullying, vandalism, and body odour.

“Like you’d know a real girl if she bit you on the butt, Chester.” Kim dismounted and rolled the scooter to the bike rack.

“Nice helmet, chrome dome.” Another round of guffaws. This was truly choice bully comedy.

“It takes so little to delight a tiny mind. C’mon, Brendan.” She walked straight up the steps past Brendan.

“Hey.” He pointed at the scooter. “Aren’t you gonna lock it?”

“I say it again: who would dare steal from me?” She glared pointedly at the three boys in front of her. They reluctantly slid out of her way and she climbed the steps. Brendan went after her. He reached the top step when he felt his foot catch on something. He sprawled on his hands and knees in front of the open doors of the school.

The laughter of Chester and his buddies swelled. Brendan angrily pushed himself to his feet and picked up his bag. He smouldered with anger. Chester did things like this to him every day. Today, he wasn’t in the mood. He’d really had enough of falling down and tripping and running into things. He turned around to glare at Chester. When Chester looked into Brendan’s face, the laughter died on his lips. Brendan felt as if Chester could see a darkness in his eyes, as if he didn’t look helpless or scared. He was furious and Chester was uneasy.

“Brendan,” Kim said, pulling at her friend’s arm. “Don’t bother with them.”

Brendan jerked free of her grasp. He stared Chester down. “That’s the last time I let you get away with anything, Chester.” He pointed at the bigger boy and spoke in a voice that he scarcely recognized himself. “Get lost!”

The instant the words were out of Brendan’s mouth Chester’s face went slack and his eyes became blank. His voice was totally flat as he said, “Right away.” He then turned and set off at a dead run. Abdul and Dean stared after him as he sped across the parking lot, turned up Avenue Road, and disappeared behind the Museum of Ceramic Arts. Abdul and Dean looked at Brendan, their faces filled with confusion and dread. Robbed of their leader, they shuffled up the stairs, keeping well away from Brendan as they hurried into the school.