Jaleigh Johnson - Unbroken Chain - The Darker Road

“Don’t be alarmed by this,” Sree said, “for it can work in your favor, if you allow it.”

“How?”

“Just as you feel its hatred and rage-and are sometimes infected by it-so too can it feel the emotions in your heart. When you show mercy and compassion, it forces the nightmare to experience the same feelings. You can use them to influence him.”

It made sense, and it explained how, out on the Shadowfell plain, the nightmare had been able to shake off the effects of the madness. He had Ashok’s emotions to draw upon to bring him back to sanity.

“But he can also influence me,” Ashok said, “can’t he?”

“Yes,” Sree said. “That is why I warn you-the longer you allow this evil thing to be your companion, the more it becomes part of you. Or maybe I am misguided in my warnings? Maybe that is what you want?”

“No,” Ashok said. “I don’t, but I’m afraid it might be the only way.”

Sree chuckled again. “You do have the air of inevitability about you, shadow man.” She bent and whispered a prayer over the blackened twigs, then threw them in a corner. She laid a fresh bundle in their place and continued around the circle, praying and strengthening the offerings. The smoke rising from the twigs gradually dissipated.

“Agny told me you were training Yaraella to cope with her gifts,” Ashok said. “She said you were a skilled teacher. Does that mean you’re close to the spirit world as well?”

“My sister hathran speaks too highly of me,” Sree said, but Ashok could tell by her tone she was pleased at the praise. “My gifts are nothing like Yaraella’s were. Yet I am known among my sisters for having much patience and control. There is very little in this world or the spirit realm that surprises or frightens me.”

“Except Ilvani,” Ashok said.

The hathran’s eyes widened behind her mask. “You’re mistaken,” she said sharply. “I don’t fear your witch, shadow man, and you’re impertinent to say so.”

Ashok shrugged. “I saw the way you looked at her. Something about her unsettles you, whether you admit it or not.”

Sree walked around the circle again to check it, but Ashok thought she was stalling. Her movements had an edge of anger. All the while, the nightmare watched them both, his red eyes speculative.

Sree sighed and said, “You’re right. She does disturb me. She’s too much like Yaraella. I never thought I would see another with her power, unless Elina grows up to share her gifts. Surely she is an oddity among your people?”

“She-” Ashok hesitated. “Yes. We don’t always understand her. On our journey, Ilvani said she kept seeing owls. I saw her look at the sky so many times, but there was never anything there.”

Sree’s eyes softened. Ashok imagined she might be smiling behind the mask. “Remarkable. A rare breed of brown owl used to inhabit the pinewoods in this area. I’d nearly forgotten. They had all died out by the time I was born. My mother used to collect their feathers, which were often used as quills. Sadly, many of the quills remain, even though all the owls are gone.”

Her words triggered a memory in Ashok’s mind-the day he’d taken Ilvani to Darnae’s shop. “That’s what she said.” He spoke half to himself. “Ilvani looked at Darnae’s quill racks and told her the owls were all gone.” Ashok hadn’t understood a word of it, but Darnae had. She’d understood Ilvani after knowing her for only a few minutes. Ashok had known her for months and hadn’t gotten as far.

Ashok felt suddenly so useless. He tried to recall everything Ilvani had ever said to him. He’d been so arrogant to think that her words were meaningless, when all the time there was truth in them that he’d just been too blind to see.

“Some in Ikemmu call her the mad witch,” Ashok said, remembering Skagi’s words when they’d rescued Ilvani from Ashok’s enclave. “Some call her a prophet.”

“What do you call her?” Sree asked curiously.

“Neither,” Ashok said.

“That’s for the best. It means she can turn to you,” Sree said. “We all turn to the people who see us most clearly.”

“I’ve done little enough for her on that score,” Ashok said, “but I’ll do everything I can to protect her from Yaraella’s monster during the ritual. Nothing will harm her if I can prevent it.”

“Bold words,” Sree said. “You should have faith in her god and ours to watch over this endeavor.”

Ashok laughed without humor. “You ask for the one thing I can’t give,” he said. “Why should we trust Tempus and Bhalla to favor us? What have they done thus far to ensure Ilvani’s safety or Yaraella’s peace? Your witch took her life because she couldn’t bear her gifts. Mine has lived through a hell that would break lesser men. You say they’re close to the spirit realm-that makes them closer to their gods than all of us.” Ashok was aware of his voice rising, but he couldn’t stop the words or the anger. “Tell me, who is more deserving of protection than they? Yet here we sit, you and I, whole and sane”-he laughed again bitterly-“or at least as sane as can be expected, while the ones we care about die or lose pieces of themselves. What can we truly expect from the gods?”

“Nothing,” Sree said simply.

“A poor answer,” Ashok said, his tone sullen.

“A true answer,” Sree corrected him. “It’s not for us to know the gods’ will. Human or shadar-kai-all we can do is live our lives, make the best choices we can, and accept that we can’t control everything.”

“If that’s all, why do I need Tempus?” Ashok said.

“Don’t mistake me for a spiritual guide,” Sree said. “You’ll have to work out your faith-or lack of it-by yourself.” She looked at him for a long time in thoughtful silence. “But if you’re determined to protect Ilvani in her god’s place, I may be able to help you,” she said. “You can’t join in our ritual directly, but when the time comes, speak to me again, and I will show you a way you can watch over Ilvani, if you wish.”

Her gesture of trust surprised Ashok. “I do. You have my thanks,” he said.

She chuckled. “You thank me for offering you the chance to risk your life meddling with death and dangerous magic. It’s true what folk say of the shadar-kai, isn’t it? You chase pain with mad smiles on your faces.”

“For the sake of my city and my companions-always,” Ashok said.

Ashok left the nightmare secure in the protective circle. Not far away, Skagi and Cree were still sparring, and Ashok noticed their battles had attracted a small audience of Rashemi berserkers. A part of him wanted to join them, to challenge the berserkers to a match, but instead he found himself walking off toward the pinewoods behind Reina’s hut.

He walked until the sound of voices and the ring of steel faded to a dim song in the back of his mind. He held his chain in his hands and put his back against one of the immense pines. The perpetual cold and silence plucked at his spirit, but Ashok pushed back against the oppressive feeling.

Looking up into the trees, Ashok tried to imagine Ilvani’s owls. He squinted into the dim sunlight until his vision blurred, but even then, the phantoms did not appear.

“You showed me the Tuigan soldier,” Ashok said. His anger rekindled. “I did what you wanted. The least you can do is show me her owls.”

He pushed off the tree and wandered in an aimless circle, unsure how to proceed. If Uwan were here, he would know.

“Tempus,” he said abruptly, and stopped, half-shocked to hear the god’s name come from his lips. He couldn’t take it back, so he hurried on, speaking through his anger. “If you know her at all, you know what’s at stake. Help her survive this ordeal. Let her find peace. She’s given up too much already. I’ll do what I can, but remember, I’m not doing it for you. It’s only for her.”