Jodi Meadows - Incarnate

“Sylph…” Meuric’s eyes lifted to the pit again. “They can’t go through the stone.”

That didn’t mean they couldn’t use doors or windows. Li’s house was no safer than the market field when it came to sylph.

“Why aren’t you at home?” he asked again.

I edged toward the wall to keep from being trapped between him and the hole. My voice shook. “I heard the dragon thunder and I ran.” Sort of true. “I lost track of where I was going. I was so scared. Then a door appeared and I darted inside, but I’ve never seen this part of the Councilhouse.”

His expression flickered as though he was reevaluating me. Hopefully he’d decided I was an idiot.

When I had a clear view of both Speaker and pit, I stopped edging and lowered my voice. “Are we in the temple?”

He narrowed his eyes — I’d probably been too dramatic — but gave a curt nod. “Yes, that’s what your door led to.”

“I thought there was no way in.” I glanced at the pit. He might underestimate me if he knew how afraid I was. Still, it was humiliating to be caught when I felt so panicked. “Why is everything backward?”

“I don’t know.”

This room made my skin crawl, but I couldn’t figure out which way to go. Other archways appeared and disappeared in the corners of my vision. Any of them might lead to freedom, but more than likely they would take me somewhere worse. “Before you got here, I heard a voice.” I pressed my hands over my heart. “Was that Janan?”

Meuric’s mouth pinched. “Yes.”

I kept my eyes on him, trying to search the rest of the room with my peripheral vision. There was nothing, save the pit and occasional dark archway. “He said I was a mistake. Do you think he meant I wasn’t supposed to be born?”

The Speaker said nothing.

“I know about Ciana. I heard Frase tell Li that she never came back. Half of Heart believes I replaced her. That’s why they hate me.”

Meuric winced. “I’m sorry, Ana. I wish I could answer your questions. I just don’t know. I was as mystified as everyone else when you were born. All I can tell you is that the words on the outside of the temple are true: Janan gave us life. All our lives. Maybe something went wrong when Ciana didn’t come back, but Dossam believes you’re a gift. Surely you can take heart in that.”

Sam. I tried not to think about Sam out there with the dragons and sylph. Better to keep asking questions, no matter how much I wanted to remind Meuric that he was the one who’d taken me from Sam. Take heart in that indeed. “But Janan gave everyone life, and he said I’m a mistake. How can he make mistakes?”

His expression was dark as thunderclouds. No idea what he’d do if I kept pushing, if he could do anything, but I’d have bet Sam’s piano that Meuric knew more about the temple than he was letting on. I just had to find the right questions.

“What are you looking for?” he asked. “To be told you’re a mistake? Would it make a difference if I tell you that you’re not? You already know I believe in Janan, and this is his temple. He is the temple. He doesn’t speak often, but he never lies. If he said you’re a mistake, then you are. I don’t know where you came from, but I know Janan had nothing to do with you. Your answers aren’t in here.”

The words landed like fists. I could only nod. It certainly wasn’t the answer I wanted, but I’d learned long ago I didn’t need to worry anyone would lie just to keep my feelings from getting hurt.

Really, I just wanted to know what had happened. I couldn’t change what I was or wasn’t. I lowered my gaze. “Do you know the way out? I want to find Sam.”

“Yes, we can do that.” His hand brushed his coat pocket, so quickly I wasn’t supposed to see. I feigned interest in my sleeves, in the dark cloth over white skin. “Come with me.”

Too easy. And at some point, he’d given up pretending he knew nothing about the temple. That could only mean that he wanted to lead me somewhere I didn’t want to go.

“Okay.” I straightened my clothes and hitched my backpack, heavy with the books I’d stolen. “Yeah, I’d rather not stay here any longer. You can’t see anything, and nothing is what it looks like.” I strode toward him, stopping just out of arm’s reach. I kept him between the upside-down pit and me.

“Unsettling, isn’t it?”

I hesitated, desperately wishing I was as brave as Sam claimed.

Before I could act, Meuric noticed something about me — maybe posture or accelerated breathing — and said, “It will be easier if you behave.”

“What will?”

“Getting lost in here. You won’t get hungry or thirsty. You’ll never get tired. Janan doesn’t want you, and I won’t kill you, but you cause too many problems in Heart. You ask too many questions. I’d hoped you’d grow out of all that if I gave you back to Li. This wasn’t what I wanted for you.”

“Sam won’t let you—”

“Sam will assume you died. Lots of bodies are never found when dragons or sylph attack. He’ll be sad, but he’ll get over it. Unless he dies, too. And even then it’s unlikely he’d be reborn before Soul Night.”

“What happens then?” Soul Night wasn’t until the spring equinox in the Year of Souls, more than a year away.

He showed teeth when he smiled. “Nothing you need to worry about.”

I didn’t move.

“Birth is never pretty, Ana. It’s painful. Trust me, you will be happier in here.” He gestured around the chamber as though it was the grand concert hall in the Councilhouse; I saw only cold, unforgiving white. “And you’ll live forever. Isn’t that what you want?

“I want to go home. I want people to stop telling me what to do, insisting progress reports are the most important thing in my life, and assuming I have some nefarious plan for newsouls to replace everyone. I don’t. For some reason, I’ve been given a chance at life, and I want to make the most of it.”

Meuric just shook his head. “You honestly don’t know the trouble you have caused.” He stepped closer, his eyes on mine. We were exactly the same height, so neither of us had to look up or down. He still seemed so much bigger than me. “I understand,” he said. “You’re young. Your world revolves around you. Or, like your father, you are simply incapable of considering others. He was always asking questions, too, trying to figure out why people are reincarnated.”

“There’s no crime in curiosity.”

“Your questions make my life difficult.”

“Fortunately, as you said, I’m self-centered enough that I don’t care.” I checked the pit but couldn’t judge the distance; the everywhere-light made depth perception impossible. “I’ve decided not to go with you. I’ll find my own way out.”

“Then you’ll never leave.”

No, I had a pretty good idea of what I needed. Or, at least, where to find it. I tackled Meuric, the weight of my backpack making that more awkward than it needed to be.

He was young and fast enough that he could have darted away, but maybe he’d forgotten. Changing bodies must get confusing. Instead, he dropped to the floor and dragged me with him, his nails gouging my arm through my sleeve. “What are you doing ?” He stood and hauled me up; he was strong for his size.

I dove for his pocket and whatever was in there.

With a grunt, he grabbed my shoulders to fling me across the room, but I caught the cloth of his pocket — not its contents — and he fell with me. I elbowed him, trying to find some kind of advantage, but he was stronger and his elbows were pointier.

We wrestled, both of us trying to get his pocket and keep away from the upside-down pit. When we came close to it, he shoved me, but I threw myself aside just before I stumbled beneath the opening.