Margaret Weis - The War of the Lance

"Derek Crownguard!" Owen gasped. "You traveled with Derek Crownguard?"

"I'm not finished," I said, eyeing him sternly. "And it isn't polite to interrupt. Tanis says so. Inside there's Laurana and Flint and Theros — "

"But it's Sir Derek I'm searching for," said the knight, completely ignoring me. (I'm not certain but I believe that ignoring people is against their knightly code, though Sturm often ignored me, now that I come to think of it. But Tanis says that if ignoring kender isn't in the Measure it should be.)

"I'm a courier from Lord Gunthar and I've been sent to find Sir Derek — "

"You've just missed him," I said, and tried to look sad about it, though I wasn't, not in the least. "He went off with the dragon orb."

"The what?" Owen stared at me.

"Dragon HERB," said Fizban, giving me a tug on the topknot that made tears come to my eyes. "Similar to wolf-bane. Only different."

Well, I had no idea what he was talking about, but it wasn't important anyway and I could see Owen was getting a bit impatient. So I went on.

"I don't know why you were looking for him. Derek Crownguard is NOT a nice person," I informed him.

"Describe him to me," said Owen.

"Don't you know him?" I asked, amazed. "How can you find him if you don't know him?"

"Just describe him, kender," growled the knight.

"Tasslehoff Burrfoot," I reminded him. Obviously he'd forgotten. "Well, Derek's mad at most everyone all the time and he's not at all polite and I don't think he has much common sense either, if you want my opinion."

Well, as it turned out, Owen didn't want my opinion; what he wanted was a description of what Derek looked like, not what he acted like, so I gave him that, too. My description seemed to please him, only it was hard to tell, because he was so confused.

"Yes, that's Derek Crownguard," he said. "You've described him perfectly. You must be telling the truth."

He thought another moment, then looked at Huma's bier, to see if it might help, and it looked very peaceful and beautiful in the moonlight. (If you are wondering why there was moonlight when there should have been fog, keep listening and I'll explain later on when the moonlight has its proper turn.)

"I was sent to find Derek Crownguard," Owen said, talking slowly, as if he might decide to stop any moment and take back everything he'd just said. "I have… dispatches for him. But I lost his trail, and I prayed to Paladine to help me find it again. That night, in a dream, I was told to seek Huma's resting place. I didn't know where it was — no one knows. But I was told that if I studied Solinari, on a cloudless night, I would see a map on the moon's surface. The next night, I did so. I saw what appeared to be a map of my homeland, Southern Ergoth. I have walked these mountains and valleys thirty years, yet I never knew this place existed. I followed Solinari's guidance, but then fog overtook me. I could no longer see the moon.

"The path led into a valley inside the mountains and vanished. I could not find my way out and have wandered about for days, perhaps. I'm not sure how long: time has lost all meaning to me. Then I saw a fire, burning in the distance. I followed it, thinking that I should at least find someone to guide me back to the trail. Then it went out and I was lost again. Then another fire and then clouds of purple stars and then I discovered this holy place, Huma's Tomb. And you."

Looking at us, he shook his head and I could tell we weren't exactly what he'd been praying to Paladine to find.

"But, if my Lord Crownguard left with the dragon orb, what are you two doing here?" he asked, after he'd stared at us longer than was really polite. "Why did you stay behind?"

"We're under an enchantment," I said. "Isn't it exciting? Well, to be honest, not all that exciting. Actually it's been pretty boring, not to mention cold and icky and damp. The Dark Queen has put us under a spell, you see. And we can't get out of here because every time we leave we keep coming back. And we have to get out of here because we're on a Very Important Mission to… to… "

I stopped because I wasn't quite sure what our Important Mission was.

"Lord Gunthar. Important mission to Lord Gunthar," said Fizban. "Must see him right away. Most urgent."

"You're under black enchantment?" Owen pulled back from us both, raised his sword, and laid his hand on Huma's bier.

"Well, now. As to the enchantment part." Fizban scratched his head. "It could be that I exagger — "

"Oh, yes!" I averred. (I'm fond of that word, averred.) "The Dark Queen is most dreadfully afraid of Fizban, here. He's a great and powerful wizard."

Fizban blushed and took off his hat and twirled it around in his hands. "I do my best," he said modestly.

"Why did you send for me?" Owen asked, and he still seemed suspicious.

Fizban appeared somewhat at a loss. "Well, I… you see… that is…"

"I know! I know!" I cried, standing on my tiptoes and raising my hand in the air. Of course, anyone who's ever been a child knows the reason, but maybe knights were never children or maybe he didn't have a mother to tell him stories like my mother told me. "Only a true knight can break our enchantment!"

Fizban breathed a deep sigh. Taking off his hat, he mopped his forehead with his sleeve. "Yes, that's it. True knight. Rescue damsels in distress."

"We're not damsels," I said, thinking I should be truthful about all this, "but we are in considerable distress, so I should think that would count. Don't you?"

Owen stood beside Huma's bier, eyeing us, and he still seemed confused and suspicious — probably because we weren't damsels. I mean, I could see how that would be disappointing, but it wasn't our fault.

"And there's these dragonlances," I said, waving my hand at them, where we'd dropped them, on the floor at the back of the temple. "Only they don't — "

"Dragonlances!" Owen breathed, and suddenly, it was like Solinari had dropped right down out of the sky and burst on top of the knight. His armor was bright, bright silver and he was so handsome and strong-looking that I could only stare at him in wonder. "You have found the dragonlances!"

He thrust his sword in its sheath and hurried over to where I'd pointed. At the sight of the two lances, lying on the floor in the moonlight, Owen cried out loudly in words I didn't understand and fell down on his knees.

Then he said, in words I could understand, "Praise be to Paladine, These are dragonlances, true ones, such as Huma used to fight the Dark Queen. I saw the images, carved on the outside of the Temple."

He rose to his feet and came to stand before us. "Now I know that you speak the truth. You plan to take these lances to Lord Gunthar, don't you, Sir Wizard? And the Dark Queen has laid an enchantment on you to prevent it."

Fizban swelled up with pride at being called Sir Wizard and I saw him look at me to make certain I noticed, which I did. I was very happy for him because generally he gets called other things that aren't so polite.

"Why, uh, yes," he said, puffing and preening and smoothing his beard. "Yes, that's the ticket. Take the lances to Lord Gunthar. We should set out right AWAY" "But the lances don't — " I began. " — shine," said Fizban. "Lances don't shine." Well, before I could mention that the lances not only didn't shine but didn't work either, Fizban had upended one of my pouches, causing my most precious and valuable possessions in the whole world to spill out all over the floor. By the time I had everything picked up and resorted and examined and wondered where I'd come by a few things that I didn't recognize, Fizban and Owen were ready to leave.

Owen Glendower was holding the lances in his hand — did I mention that he was very strong? I mean, it took Fizban and me both to carry them, and here this knight was holding two of them without any trouble at all.