Jaclyn Dolamore - Magic Under Stone

I didn’t mean to come upon Erris, but once I spotted him, it felt rude not to greet him. I hoped he didn’t think I followed him, as if I needed his company. He was gathering nuts into a basket already full of greens and a few berries.

“I found some mushrooms back there, but they wouldn’t tell me if they were poisonous.”

I suppressed a smile. “Do mushrooms talk?”

“They don’t really talk. You just know. It’s very strange now. My connection to everything feels broken. Maybe it’s just because I was trapped indoors for so long. Maybe it will come back.”

“Yes,” I said. But mushrooms never had and never would talk to me.

“Still, it’s a good thing I came along,” he continued. “Celestina seems nice, but she clearly doesn’t know how to take care of a fairy. And Violet is so much like Mel.”

“She isn’t Mel, though,” I pointed out. Perhaps I shouldn’t point that out-perhaps he was trying his best to pretend she truly was his sister. But it seemed that thought could lead to nowhere favorable.

“We were all pretty spoiled,” he continued, like I hadn’t said anything. “I know I did a lot of ridiculous things. I was telling Violet how Mel was so fussy about her hair. She used to put it up in pins at night so the front part that fell over her ears would curl. That was how the human girls wore it, and I thought it made her look like one of those dogs with the floppy ears, but she insisted.” He made a thoughtful sound, not quite a laugh.

“I wonder how she died,” he said. “I didn’t want to ask. I guess she made it through the war after all, but…”

“Maybe she just got sick,” I said.

“Or she was heartbroken,” he said. “Because she thought we were all dead.”

“She had Ordorio.”

“Yes, but…”

“But I guess that’s not enough if her family was all dead,” I said, losing my grip on my emotions. “I’m sure your family was wonderful… and you sound like you were all very close and happy… and I guess nothing will ever be enough now that they’re gone. I can never…” Be enough . I couldn’t finish. It was too hard to say. I could never be enough. I could never be enough.

“No, it’s not that,” he began, but I could tell he was only saying it because I was starting to cry. I bit my lip hard and shook my head quickly.

“I’m sorry, Nim,” Erris said. “I don’t mean to imply… It’s just… I never even knew my family had died until I woke up as an automaton and all those years had passed. Well, maybe I knew in a deep-down way, the same way I knew time had passed, but… it’s not the same. And thinking about Mel… going on without me… growing older than me… having a child, even…” He was getting that haunted look in his eyes again, the same one he so often had when I woke him.

“Never mind,” I said. “It’s all right. I understand. Please. Let’s just let it go right now.” My pride summoned a faint smile. “I’ll meet you back at the house.”

Erris returned with greens overflowing from his basket. Celestina showed him to the kitchen to help prepare Violet’s dinner and took me upstairs to see the bedrooms.

She apologized that she had not aired them out. The room she offered did smell musty, but I assured her, quite honestly, that it was nice just to have a cozy room, with a canopy bed and clean linens. I didn’t say it aloud, but it was also nice to be in a house that didn’t feel so heavy with secrets and sorrow. There was a touch of it here, but nothing like Hollin Parry’s mansion, where I had lived before Karstor’s-where I had met Erris.

“Do you need anything else, Nimira?”

“Well… if you have pen and paper, I’d very much like to write letters to let our friends know we’ve safely arrived.”

She nodded. “Just don’t mention Violet. We try to avoid much in the way of paper records of her.”

“Why is she such a secret?” I had little patience with secrets and vague excuses these days.

“Without the enchantment, Mr. Valdana says she would surely be killed by humans or fairies who fear the restoration of the house of Tanharrow. Or, on the other hand, taken by the fairies who want to restore the house of Tanharrow. He just wants a normal life for her, at least until she comes of age.”

“Normal? But does she have any friends?”

Celestina looked solemn. “No, no friends. It would do her good, but circumstances just don’t allow for it.”

“No friends, no mother, and her father is gone from fall to spring?”

“He has to travel, to serve the Lady. In exchange for the powerful magic that protects Violet.” Celestina raised her brows. “The long and short of it is, be very glad that you’re not a fairy princess.”

“Well, I promise not to mention her in my letters.”

I wrote Karstor first. I missed him, although I didn’t feel like I knew him well enough to admit it. I suspected it was really my father I missed, but my father felt so lost to me that it was easier to miss Karstor. And Karstor had always seemed so sad. During the day, he made little jokes and went to work for long hours as the new ambassador of magic, but sometimes I found him sitting in a dark room staring off into space, and once I had heard him weeping very softly, just for a moment, but long enough that I couldn’t sleep for thinking about it. I had never imagined that powerful men shed tears. I thought of all this, but I kept the note short and friendly. I hoped it would bring a spot of cheer to his day.

Next I wrote Hollin’s wife, Annalie, and her ladies’ maid, Linza. Annalie was cursed, pained by the touch of light on her skin, but she seemed content enough to spend her days in a dimly lit room, speaking to spirits and writing. Her life should have been tragic, and yet she didn’t seem to need anyone, as if she were halfway to dwelling in the spirit world herself. It was difficult to think what to say to a woman like that. Linza was easier to talk to in person, but her lack of education showed when it came to letters. Still, they should know we had safely arrived.

I wanted to write Hollin, but wasn’t sure if he had moved on. Hopefully his travels abroad were all that he hoped for, even if the circumstances weren’t quite what he wished.

Hollin. I didn’t want to miss him. He had committed so many wrongs-from wooing me while he already had Annalie hidden away, to his inability to stand up to Smollings until the very last moment. It was Erris I loved-or tried to love, if he would have me-but it was Hollin whom I best understood. Hollin had told me once how he had been close to his mother and his uncle Simalt, who had traveled the world. Both had died, like my mother, and I don’t think either of us had known what it was to be cared for ever since.

I had finished my letters and was sitting quietly, brooding upon unpleasant matters, when Celestina told me dinner was ready.

In Hollin’s house, I had changed clothes for dinner like a lady, but no one seemed to expect it here. Celestina wore her stained apron, and my clothes bore the grime and scent of travel. A man sat at the table who I knew must be Lean Joe, not just through logic but because he was indeed very lean and weather-beaten, with a nick in his ear like a stray cat. He squinted at me, not with hostility, but curiosity. He had probably never seen a girl from Tiansher before. I was equally surprised to be eating with the help, but it seemed to be the way of things here. I suppose with Ordorio gone, they kept Violet company.

Violet sat at the head of the table, clad in a thick robe that must have belonged to her father, arms crossed around the turned-up sleeves, and wearing the pout that sat so comfortably on her lips.

Erris burst in from the kitchen with a plate of finely chopped greens, nuts, and apples, all raw and lightly dressed in vinegar.