Neal Barrett Jr. - The Prophecy Machine

“Cunning little bastards indeed. And a crazy old man.”

“Which one? I hope you don't mean Father. I'd have to take exception to that. Never mind,” he said, waving his words aside, “I didn't call you down here to talk about my personal affairs. I'm afraid I've got a bit of bad news.”

“About what?” Finn took note of another unusual manner of dress. Knickers in a pale and sickly pink, a vest the color of soup, one red boot and one blue, and a lilac plumed hat. It annoyed Finn to no end that the man looked as if he'd had a good night's sleep.

“It's about the duel,” Sabatino said. “I'm afraid that's off. At least for the time.”

“Some days nothing goes right,” Finn said. He didn't mention that the duel had slipped his mind in light of everything else. “I'm disappointed, of course, but we'll try some other time.”

Sabatino kicked a stray brick aside. “That's awfully good of you. I don't think I'd have handled it as well. I feel you're a foolish, impertinent oaf, with uppity notions in your head. I'd like nothing better than to cut you down to size. I believe if your lovely-companion, as it were, could watch you cower and bleed, she'd come to her senses and notice there's a real man around. I think you might have her in a spell. Even a craftsman, these days, can buy a little magic on the street somewhere …”

“Now look here, fellow-”

“No, you look.” Sabatino poked a finger in the air. “Allow me to finish, you've gotten me off the track. Calling off the duel is not my idea. Father asked me to, and though I can't abide the old fart, I'm obliged to humor his request.”

Sabatino waved a hand across his face as if to banish some quite offensive smell.

“The thing is, he's somewhat impressed with that clever device of yours. I believe he mentioned he fancies he's an inventor of sorts himself. He's mad, of course, but that's beside the point. He's got this thing of his going, and he'd like you to help.”

Finn stared, trying not to laugh or throw up. “What on earth are you talking about? I wouldn't stay in this place another minute, even if you and your father were afire. I'd piss on the ground before I'd put either one of you out. Letitia and I will be out of here and gone, racing for our ship before you can blink.”

“Well, that's the point, you see.” Sabatino yawned, picked something off his vest, and flicked it to the ground. “I'm loathe to say it, but you really have no choice. I fear you'll have to stay.”

“What? What are you talking about? Damn it all, Sabatino-”

“Yes, well you see, the ship's gone. It sailed well before first light.”

“No, I don't believe that, you arrogant lout. It's another stupid lie.” Finn felt something cold and heavy turn over in his gut. “The captain is obligated to wait for his passengers. It's a-law of the sea, or something, I'm certain of that.”

“It is, actually,” Sabatino said, “but Magreet is a scoundrel, I don't have to tell you that. He came very cheap, as most of them do. Walked down there in the middle of the night, Hooters all about. Fellow took my first offer like that.

“I'm truly sorry, Finn, but one must respect one's father, even if he's a sack of fecal matter, and totally bonkers as well …”

“Please tell me this isn' thappening, Finn. Tell me it's certainly not happening to me. Tell me I'm back in Garpenny Street in my very own home, and I'm having a really bad dream.”

“I wish I could say that, love. I wish I could make this all go away.”

Finn stood at the window staring out at the hot and dreary day. “I feel as if it's somehow my fault, that I, and I alone, have gotten you into this terrible mess.”

“That's the way I feel, too.”

“What, my dear?”

“That it's all your fault. That you got me into this mess. And don't call me ‘dear’ or ‘love’ or any other term of affection. If you do, I think I'll get sick. I have never been so frightened, so angry, so completely undone, except when old Miz Griller put Mama in a hex and she wasn't acting right for some time. Why couldn't we just go to the mountains like everyone else? Why did we have to get a boat and come here, will you explain that?

“No, don't. Don't even try. Miz Elaina Bloc, who's married to Ollie, who runs the Sweet Store? They had a perfectly lovely time in the mountains. They saw a cave and a little waterfall. Elaina even bought a pot from ancient times.

“Finn, if I don't get something to eat I'm going to die right here, are you aware of that? Do you even care?”

Finn turned to face her, partially appalled. “How can you even think such a thing, much less say it aloud?”

“It's easy, I'm sorry to say. I hope, for your sake and mine, I feel different sometime. But that's how I'm feeling now.”

He thought his heart would break. He didn't know what to do next. He wanted to hold her, but he knew this was not the time for that. She looked so lovely, so delicate and fine, perched cross-legged on the bed, totally bare and sleepy-eyed, unaware of how the sight of her filled him with love, with overwhelming desire. The morning sun painted her downy skin, the colors muted by the window's dirty glass and a veil of spiderwebs.

“I'm going right now,” Finn told her. “I'll get you something to eat if I have to flatten Squeen William and fix it myself. If there's nothing edible here, I'll-go and find something in town.”

“No. No you won't.” Letitia sat up straight. “You think I'm going to sit here and let something awful come up those stairs the minute you're out of sight? I'm bedamned if I will. Just get that out of your head.”

“Yes, but-”

Letitia was up in an instant, slipping into the garments she'd worn from the ship, which looked as if they'd been wadded up in a ball somewhere.

Finn was startled and alarmed, and though he thought it most peculiar, quite charmed at the sudden, fierce resolution in the wife he thought he knew. She was fury un-chained, and he was certain he could live with that. He was also certain if she guessed his thoughts then, he'd wish they'd never popped into his head.

Finn blinked as a blurry flash of lizard darted across the floor and vanished beneath the bed.

“Get out of there,” he said. “We're all going down for breakfast. Nobody's staying up here.”

“If you're mad at me, Finn, it'll just have to be,” Letitia said, patting down her frizzled hair. “That's the way I am right now.”

“What?” Finn tried to look terribly pained. “I'm not mad at you, Letitia. You must know I could never do that …”

“I dearly love the morning,” Calabus said, spraying bits of breakfast through his beard. “There's something about a new day dawning, like the world's starting over, fresh and pure again- Brruuch! Sorry, miss. I expect you've heard a man belch before, it's quite a common event. May I say, you're looking most comely, my dear?”

The old man reached over and patted her hand. Letitia drew it quickly away.

“No offense, now. A compliment's what it is, nothing more than that.”

Calabus winked at Finn as if they shared some base and lecherous thought. Finn didn't bother to complain. There was clearly no way to stop the man. He'd say what he liked, whatever popped into his head. This morning, he was wearing a shabby robe. Food from meals past formed a crusty path down the front. As ever, he didn't seem to care.

Breakfast was a horror. Deep-fried turnips. Turnip bread. Some kind of jelly, possibly made of dirt. Something hot and gray in a cup. Finn wouldn't drink it on a bet. Nucci and son seemed to like the stuff quite a bit. Finn took a bite of this and that. Letitia ate everything she could, and finished off Finn's plate as well. Finn tried not to think of Squeen William, who had fixed all this with his damp and furry hands. He wondered what the kitchen looked like, and pushed the thought quickly aside.