C. Bryant - Broken

“What? Altaria, where’s Lydia?”

Altaria took in a staggered breath. “I cannot find her.”

“What do you mean you can’t find her?”

“I sense her presence, but she is so weak and will not communicate with me. We have not bonded as before. It is as if I am the one alone now. It is a horrible feeling. How angry she must be with me. How could I do something like that? What if she never forgives me? What if. .”

“Wait.” Kira fought for understanding as Altaria’s words sparked a million questions. “You said you can’t find her, but then you said you can sense her presence. Which is it?”

Altaria sighed. “I am not certain. I do feel she is here, but there are no shared feelings, no shared memories or emotions. I try to communicate, but she gives no response. I even tried to lessen my will so she could be in control. It is as if she were dead inside me. How can that be?”

The thought made Kira sick to her stomach. How could a spirit die and a body still live on? But then, how could one body have two spirits, or survive if one decided to leave it? Obviously, understanding would not come easily.

“Al, maybe she’s just tired. Did you think of that? What if she is so worn out from keeping this body alive by herself, that she’s resting? Maybe she is letting you take over so she can get her spiritual strength back.” Kira brushed the crumbs off the bed covers and took Altaria’s hands. “I really don’t think she’s angry with you. She told me this was her idea and insisted on not taking your spirit back until we were safe. Let her rest, okay? Keep talking to her. Tell her you love her and you miss her. She’ll find you. She isn’t a quitter, you know that.”

“I hope you are right, Kira.”

Kira smiled. “I know I am. Now will you eat? Please.”

Kira held up another chunk of bread, but Altaria pushed it away.

“There is more I need to say,” Altaria said.

Kira put the bread back on the plate, knowing Altaria wouldn’t eat until she’d had her say. “Go on, then.”

Altaria took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. Kira had never seen her nervous before and it surprised her.

“You are a strong woman,” Altaria said. “Not just spiritually, but physically as well.”

Kira looked at her with skepticism. “Um. . thanks.” I think .

“The truth is, when I first entered your body I thought I would not only be in control, but that we would share our thoughts and feelings as I had with Lydia. I am so much stronger than you; I thought it would be easy. I was wrong. Not one time, Kira-not even one time did I in control you. Even when I fought to get out, you held strong.” The corners of her mouth turned up slightly. “Your strength surprised me.”

Altaria looked at her hands again as she twisted a white satin ribbon that had come untied from her gown. “Your mind and thoughts were unfamiliar to me, but I knew your emotions and senses. I felt what you felt. Saw what you saw and heard everything.” She raised her eyes again. “When you slept from the poison, I lay awake. When you cried out in your nightmares and suffered with fever, I held you from within. I stayed with you, even though you felt alone.”

Kira held her chest to try to slow her racing heart. Altaria had been through it all, felt everything, even those things Kira had missed because she’d been unconscious-the horrible abuse at the hands of Zerek-and she’d been there the whole time.

Her warrior mentality must have been crushed when she discovered she was powerless to help Kira fight her captors. She’d been there when her own sister tortured Kira and left her to die. It was hard enough to deal with the fact that she’d been forced to endure the pain herself, but to know Altaria experienced it as well made Kira’s heart ache.

“I’m sorry,” Kira said. “I had no idea.”

“Do not be sorry. As difficult as it was to see you suffer and not be able to help, I am grateful for being with you. My only regret is for not being stronger. You cannot imagine how difficult it was to not transform your body as I did mine. With my help, we could have taken them on and won.”

Kira smiled. “You’re right. We would have kicked butt.”

Altaria returned the smile, but only for an instant. Then pity crept into her eyes. “I am sorry for your loss, Kira. I gave little thought to bearing children until I felt your pain and ventured out into the stormy night with you.”

She paused for a moment, put her hand on Kira’s shoulder and then said something that surprised Kira, especially that it came from Altaria.

“Even with Cade’s pleading. . I would have jumped.”

The sudden surge of emotions sent both of them to seek the comfort of each other’s embrace. They were more than friends now, they were sisters. Even though they hadn’t shared their thoughts, their spirits had bonded. That connection brought something to their relationship they would have with no other-not even Lydia.

After filling their bellies, they spent most of the day talking about Lydia, the friendship they had and how much they missed her. Both had ideas about how to bring her back, but nothing they tried worked. Altaria even tried sharing her memories with Kira, like they had in Octavion’s lair on the mountain, but nothing would come.

Yet still the Crystor lay dormant, useless on Kira’s wrist.

Late in the afternoon, the king brought more food. Altaria ate a large portion and took several swigs of some vile potion Octavion dreamed up to help her regain her strength. As more time passed, the old Altaria began to shine forth. When Kira asked her if she’d like to take a bath, Altaria fired orders at Octavion to haul up the water like she ruled as queen of the castle. He obeyed as any loyal servant would and even managed to sneak Kira a wink now and then. When he’d brought in the last bucket, he scooped his sister into his arms and lowered her into the water much like he had with Kira, only Altaria didn’t complain or seem surprised.

As the shadows of evening began to cool the air, Kira closed the window, drew the curtains and relit the candles. She brushed out Altaria’s hair and with her wrapped hand, failed miserably at braiding it. Altaria snuggled under the covers and within seconds fell sound asleep. That, however, caused a problem. Kira was locked in the king’s chambers with no way to communicate with Octavion. She didn’t want to wake Altaria to send her thoughts, so she was stuck.

Ussay was right about the chill. Kira thought closing the window would help warm the space, but as night drew near, without the heat from a fire, it quickly grew colder.

The fireplace was a massive opening at one end of the room. It was twice the size of the one in Kira’s chambers and big enough for her to walk into if she ducked her head. She tried to remember how she’d prepared the fire pit in the clearing, but without the trees of the forest to provide natural kindling, she had to improvise. On the mantle sat a small wooden box that held a long piece of steel and a stone she assumed to be flint. After peeling off sections of bark from the logs stacked near the hearth, and placing a piece of parchment she’d found on a nearby desk underneath it, she struck the stone. It took several times before the spark hit the paper and ignited the shreds of bark, but as soon as it caught, the logs followed suit and began to give some warmth to the room.

Kira seriously considered snooping around, but with her luck the king would appear and catch her in the act of rifling through something that would earn her a beheading. Even with her built in Royal detector she didn’t dare take the chance.

So, for lack of driving herself insane from boredom, she snuck out into the hallway and began to clean. She dumped all the old flowers into a dirty sheet and wadded it up by the door at the end of the hall. Another chore for Octavion , she told herself. Then she took one of the buckets of water left from Alvataria’s bath, a clean towel and wiped everything down. It didn’t take long before the place looked fresh and inviting. She made a mental note to have the drapes taken down and laundered in the near future, then returned to check on Al.