C. Bryant - Broken

“Nonsense, my dear. We would not dream of putting you in such a place.” Mara paused for a moment. “Ussay, prepare Lyd-the room next to Arela’s. Kira will be quite comfortable there and she will enjoy the morning sun.”

Lydia’s room?

If that’s what she’d meant to say, Kira wanted to see it. Maybe she’d feel closer to her there. If nothing else, the familiar surroundings might put Altaria at ease. “Are you sure? I don't want to intrude. .”

“It will be no intrusion.” She smiled and leaned back in her chair, rubbing her stomach again. “I do have to warn you, however. You will be next door to my daughter, Arela, and she can be a pest.”

“I’m sure she isn’t that bad. Besides, I love kids.”

Ussay stifled a giggle.

“You do not know my daughter.” Mara put her hand out and patted Kira’s. “I must take a nap now, dear. The little one is complaining.” She stood and turned her back to her, then barked a command to Ussay. “You will see the linens are clean in Kira’s new room?” Then she disappeared. Ussay’s face blurred until Mara's wake drifted into a nearby bush.

Kira rolled her eyes. “She’s fun,” she said sarcastically.

Ussay curtsied. “I will prepare your room, my lady. I apologize for my rudeness, I forgot my place. If you would be so kind as to follow me, I will show you to your room.”

At first Kira thought she was teasing-being sarcastic-but then she caught the glimmer of a small tear in the corner of one eye. “Ussay, did I say something wrong?” Kira stood and went to her.

“No, it is me. I forgot you will be royalty and I should treat you as such.”

So that was it. “Ussay, you’re my friend. I understand if you need to treat me differently when someone else is around because this is your job. I don’t want to jeopardize that, but when it’s only us, we’re friends.” Kira put her hand on Ussay’s shoulder. “And I’m not royalty.”

Ussay smiled. “You are to me.”

“Now, where’s my new room.” Kira was actually excited to see it. She’d visualized Lydia’s room in her head ever since she’d shared her memories of the grand ball. She knew it would be strange without her there to show her everything, but she missed Lydia. Maybe seeing where she grew up would help Kira cope with the loss.

The girls slowly climbed the staircase, stopping once to rest Kira’s shaky legs. Ussay offered to have Luka carry her, but she didn’t want to give him another opportunity to give her a hard time about injuring him. Besides, she needed to rebuild the strength in her legs. When they reached the top of the stairs they turned and went down a long hallway, stopping in front of the first in a series of wooden doors.

“Where is the room I stayed in before?”

Ussay pointed behind them. On the other side of the staircase, another set of stairs led upward. “Octavion’s rooms are there. He has the entire wing to himself.” She struggled to open the latch on the door while balancing an armful of shoes.

“Why don’t you get rid of those? I can do this.” Kira put her hand on the latch and pushed the door open. She was so taken aback by what she saw she didn’t hear Ussay’s response, only her footsteps echoing in the hallway as she walked away.

She put her hand to her heart as a dull ache threatened to squeeze the blood right out of it. Tears filled her eyes and she thought her knees might buckle and send her crashing to the floor.

“Oh, Al. . it’s beautiful.”

She stepped inside and leaned against the wall for support. The entire room was Lydia. . no, it was Altaria. She could easily imagine both kindred spirits happily coexisting in this space.

In the center of the room, with no wall or headboard against any part of it, stood a huge four-poster bed. All the linens were white, even the overstuffed pillows that filled almost half the bed. White gauze-like fabric, delicately embroidered with pink and lavender roses, hung between the posts and were swooped to each corner by narrow green ribbons.

Two very large windows flanked French doors that opened onto a balcony. A built-in seat nestled below each window, their cushions of white topped with lavender and pink pillows. Curtains made of a thicker tapestry material with similar embroidery hung from the ceiling and puddled on the floor.

Kira pushed away from the wall and stepped to the bed. She reached up and let the green satin ribbon run through her fingers, then turned to get a better view of the rest of the room. She slowly lowered herself to a small bench at the foot of the bed. All around the perimeter of the room were bits and pieces of Lydia and Altaria-ribbons and bows neatly arranged on the top of a dressing table, colored bottles adorning the back of three dressers and a full length mirror in the corner near one of the windows. On either side of the door stood built-in book cases, like in Octavion’s room, but these held bolts of fabric, rolls of ribbon and several ceramic vases. The books, though not as many, were all neatly arranged in order of size. On one shelf there were tiny figurines of young women adorned in beautiful gowns with hems swirling up as if they were dancing.

Kira thought being here would bring her peace, perhaps even closure, but she’d been wrong. It only brought the memory of Lydia closer to her heart, causing real pain. It was almost as if she were there, calling out to her as before, but there were no words echoing in her mind, only the constant throb of loneliness in her chest.

Altaria.

She would never again feel smooth fabric between her fingers or look at her beautiful face in a mirror. She’d never hold a sword in her hand or speak her mind. Her thoughts would forever be locked in a body that wasn’t hers. Kira wondered how much longer she’d feel her presence or if she’d slowly wither away.

She put her head in her hands and released the gut wrenching sobs she’d held back for days. She missed both of them-and the pain she felt in her chest was the only part of Altaria she had left.

“Kira?”

She slowly raised her eyes to find Octavion standing in the doorway, his face weary and worn. Seeing him only made her sorrow worse and the tears came faster. She couldn’t speak as she lost herself in her grief.

He hesitantly moved closer and knelt in front of her, but he didn’t offer his embrace to hold or comfort her. Instead, he looked into her eyes for the longest time before finally speaking; his voice laced with deep emotion. “I have hurt you far too many times to count. Seeing you like this. .” He turned his head away. “I do not blame you for wanting to be as far away from me as possible.” When he turned back and their eyes met, his were filled with tears as well.

Kira shook her head. “I’m not mad at you.” She looked around the room and then back to him. “It’s this room. I. . I miss her so much.”

The pain in his eyes sent her into his arms. He scooped her up and carried her to one of the window benches and sat, cradling her to him. Having his strong arms around her was exactly what she needed.

“How can you not be angry with me?” he whispered in her ear.

Kira pulled her face back enough to see his eyes. “How can I be mad at you for something that isn’t your fault? You didn’t choose to be this way.” She paused for a moment and wiped a few tears from her face. “I am angry that you weren’t honest with me, though.”

She took a deep breath and adjusted herself so she sat next to him. “You should have told me you were fighting the pull of your moons. I would have understood.”

“I know. And I am sorry, but I could not leave you. I waited for days for you to wake, worrying you would die, so once you woke there was no way I could leave you.” He gently wiped away the rest of her tears.