Sean Russell - The Shadow Roads

“That’s all the answer I need,” Fondor said.

“Who else knows of Samul’s accusation?” Dease asked.

“Lady Beatrice. No one else. Toren has asked for ourpresence within the hour. A council of some sort.” Fondor turned and started towalk away.

“Fondor?” Dease said, stopping his cousin. “What will youtell Lady Beatrice?”

“That I confronted you with Samul’s accusation and that youdenied it. I will say I believed you.”

“But that isn’t the truth.”

“She has had enough pain, Dease. Enough disappointment.Within the hour, Cousin. Don’t be late.” And he walked off into the gatheringdark. For a long while Dease stood looking at the flames on the distant shore.Later he would say that the smoke stung his eyes, though that was not the trutheither.

Lord Carral wondered if he would ever hear music in thenight sounds again. The frogs sang. The insects hummed. Wind stirred andmurmured sleepily in the trees. None of these things enchanted him as theyonce had. He had heard music in everything-once.

Darkness had fallen. He could tell by the cooling air.Carral walked alone in Llyn’s garden, his thoughts a jumble. He had lost hisheart, there was no doubt of that. But the woman he had lost it to was lesscertain. Oh, she loved him, that was certain, but there was another. She hadnever said it, but Carral wasn’t utterly foolish with love. She loved TorenRenne as much as she loved him. Perhaps more.

Lord Carral had so many different reactions to this that hecould not keep them straight. He loved Llyn utterly and could understand whyanyone would feel the same-even someone young and imposing, like Toren. Ofcourse Toren had never seen Llyn. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to saythat she had never allowed Toren to see her and likely never would. To Carral,who had never seen another human being, this obsession with another’s appearancewas incomprehensible. He had spent his life among the sighted, and had oftenbeen surprised to find men attentive to the most tedious women, only to be toldthat they were beautiful. But this refusal actually to be in the same room withsomeone did seem a rather large impediment to a marriage. Toren might feel thesame way.

But then Llyn might have been waiting for Toren to declarehimself, to tell her that the burns that had forced her into exile withinCastle Renne meant nothing to him. And perhaps that was the truth.

Carral shook his head. His mind seemed to whirl through a cycleof thoughts over and over again, to no avail. This cycle of thoughts led him toone conclusion over and over again. Llyn would never marry him while there washope that Toren felt toward her as she did toward him.

He should have felt anger toward or resentment of Toren-hisrival for Llyn’s affections-but he wasn’t sure that Toren was even aware ofthis rivalry. The young nobleman certainly wasn’t acting like a man who feltthreatened by some other. He went about his business as though this neverentered his thoughts, visiting Llyn with the same infrequency that heapparently always had.

Nor did Carral feel any anger or resentment toward Llyn. Intruth, he felt pity for her. She was tortured by this division of loyalties,by her love for two men.

But I am the one who loves her utterly , Carralthought. She must see that. She was sighted, after all.

He stopped suddenly. Someone hovered a few feet away; hecould hear their breathing.

“Father?” The voice was so small he could barely make outthe word.

“Father?” the voice said again, no stronger.

“Elise?”

Footsteps sounded on the gravel, but they were not Elise’s-werethey? She was in his arms, damp and musky, as though she had come out of theriver. Her hair was cold and moist, a mass of uncombed curls. He breathed inthe scent of her all the same, felt her in his arms, thin and fragile.

“You-are-alive, you-are-alive, you-are-alive,” he said overand over.

They did not move for the longest time, but stood holdingeach other close. Carral drank in her presence, felt the air move in and out ofher lungs. He thought he could almost feel the beating of her heart.

“Father … I’m sorry I didn’t send word that I was alive,but-”

“You never need apologize to me, Elise. You wouldn’t havedone it without good reason.”

They were silent again for a time.

“I must go away again,” Elise whispered, her voice ladenwith regret.

“Will you be gone for long? I’ve missed you so.”

Elise pulled back a little, so she could see his face,Carral thought. “There is no place for me here-”

“But we’ll go back to Braidon Castle-”

“I can’t go back.” She drew him near again, pressing hercheek against his chest as she had when she was a child.

“But Elise, I will take up my place as the head of our family.I will need your help. And you are my heir-”

“I renounce this foolishness,” she said emphatically. “Thereis no throne, Father. There never will be. I can’t live here among our people.Too many know what I have done-what I’ve become. I made a bargain with a nagar,father. There is no going back.”

Carral felt tears, not just at what she said but at thedespair in her voice. “Where will you go?”

“North, to a house on the river. It is a place where I mightheal, and there are two children there who will need my guidance.”

“I’ll visit you there if you’ll let me.”

“I would and gladly, but it is a hidden place. A place youcannot find.”

“A place only Alaan might travel?” he said.

“Alaan, and a few others.”

“Will we never be together again?”

“I hope we will. We’ll see where the river takes us.” Shekissed his cheek with great tenderness, then drew away. He felt the loss of herthe moment she left his embrace-almost more than he could bear.

“I have brought you something,” she said, her voice barelymore than a whisper. She placed an object in his hands.

Carral ran his hands over it quickly. “It is a mask.”

“Yes.”

“Why is it wet?”

“It has been in the river.”

“And what am I to do with it?”

“It is not for you, father. It is for Lady Llyn-a gift ofthe nagar. If she will wear it, and not remove it, her scars will be healed.”Elise paused. “She will be whole again-beautiful.”

“Ahh,” Carral said softly, but his first thought was, thenwhy would she love a blind man like me ? She would marry Toren, certainly.He turned the mask over in his hands. These thoughts were unworthy of him, herealized. He should be overjoyed that Llyn could be healed.

“I would do the same for you, Father, but you did not loseyour sight. You were born without it. It cannot be restored.”

“It doesn’t matter. I have been blind my whole life. It isn’ta hardship. But if Lady Llyn can be healed …” His voice disappeared,suddenly.

Elise stepped forward and embraced him again. She kissedhim. He could feel how hard it was for her to release him. There was that, atleast.

He heard her steps on the gravel.

“Elise!”

The steps stopped. “Yes?”

“You have given up everything to fight this war-” He losthis voice, emotion stealing it away.

“I am the daughter of Carral Wills. How could I have doneless?” Her footsteps retreated through the garden, growing more and moredistant as though she had passed through a wall and out into the hostile worldbeyond.

He collapsed onto a low stone bench and wept like a child. No .He’d wanted to say. Your strength came from your mother , but it was toolate, too late to say so many things.

Dease entered the ballroom. He had not been there since thecostume ball that ended the Westbrook Fair-and began so much else. There wasfurniture in there, now, as there was much of the year. Tapers cast their warmglow over the gathered masses: a crowd of his cousins and aunts and uncles.They were a subdued lot, even somber. Escaping destruction by the Wills andtheir allies would do that, Dease thought. Almost none of them knew the truestory. That would have sobered them for some years.