James Wyatt - In the Claws of the Tiger

Janik was beside her in an instant. “I’m here, my love,” he murmured. He put one hand on her shoulder and fumbled with the other, trying to grasp her hand. But she pulled her hands up to her chest, turned her shoulder away from him, and winced as though his touch hurt her.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Maija, it’s me. Janik.”

She began to curl in on herself, turning away from him. “I’m so dirty-don’t touch me,” she whimpered.

Janik reached out again and gently stroked her brown hair. It was tightly braided and coiled close to her head, though she used to wear it long and free. She flinched at his touch but did not pull away.

“Dirty?” he said. “Oh, Mai, no.” Tears sprang to his eyes, joy and relief and sorrow all mingling together.

“I did so many terrible things!” She looked at him for the first time, and he saw the tears streaming down her face.

“You didn’t do anything,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “The fiend did them, not you. You don’t need to feel any guilt or shame about what happened. You didn’t do anything wrong. The fiend was using you, that’s all.”

“That’s all?” Her voice grew louder. “Do you have any idea what it felt like to be the tool in her hand? Like-like the shovel used to lift manure?”

“Shh, I didn’t mean that.” Janik kept his voice low and continued gently stroking her hair. “It must have been terrible for you.”

“Oh, Janik,” she sobbed. “I felt so helpless. I couldn’t do anything to stop-” She choked on her words and turned away from Janik again.

“It’s not your fault,” Janik said. He lay his hand between her shoulder blades and felt her take a deep breath, trying to steady herself.

“But I saw it all, I remember it all as if I had done it. My hands and my voice cast those vile spells, said those terrible things to you. I let Havoc kill Mudren Fain and turn Krael into a vampire. My hands killed … I killed so many people. So many innocent people.”

Janik drew her into his arms. She pushed away at first, but soon melted and curled up against him, sobbing into his shoulder.

“That’s it,” he murmured, stroking her hair. “Mourn for them, for all those people.” His eyes fell again on Dania’s body. “But their deaths are not meaningless, not in vain.”

“How can you say that?”

Tears sprang to Janik’s eyes again. “Because Dania gave them meaning.”

Maija pulled her head away from his chest and looked up at him, then followed his gaze to Dania’s body.

“Oh, Dania, no!” she cried. She broke out of Janik’s arms and crawled over beside her fallen friend, wailing her grief.

Janik followed her on his knees. “She gave her life to destroy the Fleshrender, Maija. And somehow I think she took the death of everyone the Fleshrender killed and-and made it part of her own death, her sacrifice. She … she sanctified them, Maija.”

Maija’s crying did not abate, but she nodded as she wept, understanding what Janik could barely put into words. He wrapped his arms around her again and they mourned and celebrated Dania together.

Janik stood and helped Maija to her feet. She began fumbling with her hair, picking at the braids to let it flow freely over her shoulders again. It was wavy and wild after being tightly bound for so long, but Maija reveled in it, shaking her head to make it fall in a tangle down her shoulders and over her face. Then she looked up at Janik, the first hint of a smile barely visible on her face under the cascade of hair. Janik laughed, and Mathas came to join them.

“I am very glad to see you again, Maija,” Mathas said, smiling broadly.

Maija threw her arms around Mathas, clutching the old elf to her chest. “Oh, Mathas. I’m so sorry for everything.”

Mathas returned her embrace and clasped her arms as she pulled away. “Dear friend, you have nothing to be sorry about. You were a victim, a prisoner. You carry no responsibility for the evil that spirit did through you.”

Tears sprang again to Maija’s eyes and she pulled Mathas to her again.

“Thank you, Mathas,” she murmured. When she finally released him, her cheeks were streaked with tears, and she wiped awkwardly at them. “Now where is the dwarf?” she said. “I’d like to meet him and thank him as well.”

Mathas gestured vaguely. “He’s-” He looked around the chamber. “I don’t know where he is. I’m afraid my attention has been elsewhere.”

“I’m sure he’ll turn up,” Janik said with a small laugh. “And what was so demanding of your attention?”

“Well, I’ve been studying the floor in here-I know, it sounds fascinating. As near as I can tell, the bonds that hold the rakshasa rajah below this place remain intact. But I believe I understand the erection of the towers around the city.”

“Oh, yes,” Maija said. “She hoped to use them to break the couatl’s grip on the rajah.”

“Well, I’m pleased with myself for deducing it before you told me,” Mathas said. “We should probably take steps to topple them again.”

“Yes, we should,” Maija said.

“And one other thing concerns me,” Mathas said. “Janik, I assume that Krael has not been decisively destroyed. Should we be worrying about completing that task?”

“No,” Janik said. Mathas arched an eyebrow. “I let Krael go.”

“I beg your pardon,” Mathas said carefully, “but was that wise?”

“I believe so.” Janik sighed. “I realized something important here, something I’m not sure I can explain. I realized that Dania was wrong. Back on the ship, as we crossed the Phoenix Basin, she said that vampires were the scourge of the earth, that Krael had to be purged from the world. But she was wrong, and I think she realized that before she died.”

He took another deep breath before continuing. “When Dania was struggling with the spirit, forcing it out of you, Maija, I was watching, feeling helpless. And that was really the first time I became aware that there’s more going on in the world than the struggles among nations. Dania had been trying to tell me that, but I think it’s bigger than even she realized. It’s almost as though the ancient war between the dragons and the fiends was still going on-a war between, well, between good and evil, for lack of better words.

“I didn’t believe in good and evil. I mean, I clung to my way of doing things, trying to keep to the moral high ground-thanks mostly to you two and Dania steering me that way, keeping me from stooping to Krael’s level.

“But everything that’s happened here has pointed to a much larger struggle. The conflict between the couatl and the rajah it binds isn’t just a legacy of some ancient war between nations. It’s fundamentally a conflict between life and destruction, between an affirmation of beauty and goodness and life and the denial of all that.”

“But Janik,” Mathas interjected, “I think I’m echoing Dania when I remind you that Krael is a vampire.”

“I haven’t forgotten that, Mathas. But he’s still human as well. And like any of us, he can choose sides between good and evil. And today he made a heroic choice. He chose differently than I did, but I still think he chose for the good. He destroyed the Fleshrender when I couldn’t. And in that moment, I didn’t want to fight any more.”

Janik fell silent. Maija was staring at the ground, her brow furrowed, and Janik put his arm around her shoulder. He looked at Mathas, whose expression suggested that he was a little perturbed.

“What is it, Mathas?”

“I am not accustomed to learning wisdom from those who are so much younger than I,” the old elf said. “And particularly from you, Janik Martell.” His face broke into a broad smile, and he clapped Janik on the shoulder.