Terry Goodkind - Confessor - Chainfire Trilogy Part 3

“I have given him the only chance he has to have what he loves most in life.”

Zedd sank back down in the chair and put his face in his hands.

Nicci stood, her back stiff and straight, as Zedd, slumped in the chair before her, wept into his hands.

She had locked her knees for fear that her legs would give way beneath her. She told herself that she would not allow a single tear to escape her control.

She had almost succeeded.

When she had invoked the power of Orden, putting the box in play in Richard’s name, that power had done something to her. It had, to a degree, countered the damage of the Chainfire spell infecting her.

When Nicci named Richard the player, completing the links to the power she had invoked, Nicci had suddenly known Kahlan.

It was not a rebuilding of her lost memory of Kahlan—that was gone—but rather it was a simple reconnection to the awareness of the reality of Kahlan’s existence, to the here and now.

For ages, it seemed, Nicci had thought that Richard was deluded in his belief in the existence of a woman no one but he remembered. Even later, when Richard had found the Chainfire book and had proven to them what had really happened, Nicci had at last believed him, but she had based that belief only on her belief in Richard and the facts he had uncovered. It was an intellectual conviction based on indirect evidence alone.

That conviction had no basis in her own memories or perceptions. She had no personal recollection of Kahlan, only Richard’s memory to go on, his word, and the evidence at hand. In that secondhand manner she believed in the existence of this woman, Kahlan, because she believed Richard.

But now Nicci knew—really knew—that Kahlan was real.

Nicci still had no memory of anything about the woman, but she viscerally knew that Kahlan was real, that she existed. She no longer needed to rely on Richard’s word to know it. It was self-evident, almost as if she perceived it directly. It was somewhat like remembering meeting someone in the past but not being able to remember their face. While that person’s face would not be recalled, that person’s existence was not in doubt.

Nicci knew that, now, because of the connection to the power of Orden, because of what it had done within her, Kahlan would no longer seem to be invisible. Nicci would be able to see her just as she could see everyone else. The Chainfire spell still resided within Nicci, but Orden had at least partially countered the spell, halted the continuing damage, allowing her to be aware of the truth. Her memory of Kahlan was still not vital, but Kahlan was.

Nicci now knew, really knew, that Richard’s love was real. Nicci felt an aching joy for Richard’s heart, even as her own had broken.

Cara stepped up close beside her and did something Nicci could never have imagined a Mord-Sith doing: she put an arm gently around Nicci’s waist, drawing her close.

At least, it was something no Mord-Sith would ever have done until Richard had come along. Richard had changed everything. Cara, like Nicci, had been brought back from the brink of madness by Richard’s passion for life. The two of them shared a unique understanding of Richard, a special connection, a perspective that Nicci doubted anyone else, even Zedd, could truly appreciate.

More than that, no one but Cara could grasp all that Nicci had just given up.

“You did good, Nicci,” Cara whispered.

Zedd rose. “Yes, she did. I’m sorry, my dear, if I’ve been unfairly hard on you. I can see now that you did in fact think it through. You did what you thought was right. I must admit that, given the circumstances, you did the only thing that made sense.

“I apologize for jumping to foolish assumptions. I’ve had reason to know many of the profound dangers surrounding the ilse of the power of Orden—I probably know more about it than anyone alive today. I’ve even seen the magic of Orden called forth by Darken Rahl. Because of that, I have a somewhat different view than you’ve presented.

“While I don’t necessarily completely agree with you, what you did was an act of great intellect and courage, to say nothing of desperation. I’m familiar, too, with acts of desperation in the face of incredible odds and I can appreciate how they are sometimes necessary.

“I hope you are right in what you’ve done. Even if it means I am wrong, I would choose for you to be the one who was right.

“But it doesn’t matter, now. Done is done. You have put the boxes of Orden in play and named Richard the player. Despite what I may believe, we are all of a mind in our cause. Now that it is done, we must do our best to see to it that this works. We will all need to do our utmost to help Richard. If he fails, we all fail. All life fails.”

Nicci couldn’t help but feel a certain degree of relief. “Thank you, Zedd. With your help, we will make this work.”

He shook his head sadly. “My help? Perhaps I’m merely a hindrance. I just wish you had consulted me first.”

“I did,” Nicci said. “I asked you if you trusted Richard with your life, with all life. What more consultation could there be than that?”

Zedd smiled through the sadness lingering on his face. “I guess you’re right. It could just be that the combination of the Chainfire spell and the contamination of the chimes has already eroded my ability to think.”

“I don’t believe that for a moment, Zedd. I think it’s that you love Richard and are worried for him. I wouldn’t have sought your counsel had it not been important. You told me what I needed to know.”

“If you get confused again,” Cara said to him, “I’ll straighten you out.”

Zedd scowled at the woman. “How reassuring.”

“Well, Nicci made a long story of it,” Cara said, “but it’s not really all that complicated. Anyone should be able to see it—even you, Zedd.”

Zedd frowned. “What do you mean?”

Cara shrugged one shoulder. “We are the steel against steel. Lord Rahl is the magic against magic.”

To Cara, it was no more complicated than that. Nicci wondered if the Mord-Sith didn’t really grasp that she was only scratching the surface, or if she understood the entire concept better than anyone. Perhaps she was right and it really wasn’t any more complicated than that.

Zedd laid a hand gently on Nicci’s shoulder. It reminded her of Richard’s gentle touch.

“Well, despite what Cara says, this may be the death of us all. If it is to have a chance to work, though, we have a lot of work to do. Richard is going to need our help. You and I know a great deal about magic. Richard knows next to nothing.”

Nicci smiled to herself. “He knows more about it than you think he does. It was Richard who deciphered the taint in the Chainfire spell. None of us understood all that business about the language of symbols, but Richard picked it up on his own. By himself he learned to understand ancient drawings, designs, and emblems.

“I could never teach him anything about his gift, but he often surprised me with how much he grasped that was beyond the conventional understanding of magic. He taught me things I could never have imagined.”

Zedd was nodding. “He drives me crazy, too.”

Rikka, the other Mord-Sith living at the Wizard’s Keep, stuck her head in the doorway. “Zedd, I just thought you ought to know about something.” She pointed a finger skyward. “I was a few levels up and there must be some kind of broken window or something. The wind is making a strange noise.”

Zedd frowned. “What kind of noise?”

Rikka put her hands on her hips and stared at the floor, thinking it over. “I don’t know.” She looked up again. “It’s hard to describe. It reminded me a little of wind blowing through a narrow passage.”