Rick Cook - The Wizardry Quested

Heedless of their opponent’s new formation, the undead charged. There was no sound save the scuffling of feet on the cavern floor and the breathing of the dwarves. Soundlessly the zombies lurched forward and soundlessly they struck. Then the cavern erupted in the clamor of steel on steel and dwarven battle cries as the undead warriors hit the 128-dwarf Cuisinart.

The zombies might be already dead and hence unkillable, but there are certain practical problems in attacking when one’s arms have been lopped off at the shoulder or one’s head is rolling across the floor. Further, zombies’ muscle control is notoriously poor and this handicaps them in hand-to-hand combat. The first rank of dwarves was safe, crouched beneath their shields. The second could swing their axes with full force, protected yet unencumbered. About the only weapons that could reach over the shield wall to strike the axe bearers were spears and halberds. But as soon as a polearm extended over the shield wall, the shield dwarves would reach up with their axes and hook it, immobilizing weapon and wielder and leaving both open to a counter-stroke by the axe dwarves.

Not that it stopped the zombies. Whole or hacked up they continued to come on in deathly silence, pulling themselves forward to the attack with whatever limbs they had left Again and again they pressed forward and again and again they were cut into ever-smaller pieces.

Finally, when the last zombie had been chopped into pieces too small to be dangerous, the attack stopped.

Tosig Longbeard peered into the darkness, seeking other foes. He was breathing heavily and the gold crown upon his helm was battered and scarred. Already those warriors with healing skills were tending to their comrades’ wounds.

"Casualties?" He did not turn to look at his men.

"Six wounded," Durgrim told him. "Four will be able to walk once the healers finish with them. Two we must carry."

"Well enough then. Anything else about?"

"Nothing I can sense."

The dwarf long hawked and spat upon the still-quivering flesh of their late foes. "Pfagh! Animated corpses. These humans become ever more troublesome." His second-in-command gestured at the pile of bodies strewn about them. "Human these were. Yet I am unconvinced a human animated them. The magic was wrong." Tosig rubbed his chin. This is a matter to be thought upon. Meanwhile, " his voice rose so all his troop could hear, " stand up and prepare to march! But carefully now. We know not what else we may find in this place."

The magic detector tuned to Wiz led Jerry, Taj and his group down a side passage, through a series of natural caverns and finally to an iron-bound oak door that led off the side of a tunnel.

Jerry pressed his ear to the door and listened.

The wizard behind him, a young man named Elias, checked the magic detector around his neck. "There is nothing in there."

"Yeah! Jerry hissed. " Well, that ’nothing’ is breathing awfully heavy." Elias frowned and tapped his detector on his palm.

Keeping his back to the wall, Jerry reached out and pushed on the door. It creaked, but it swung open smoothly, showing only darkness beyond. Now they could all hear the hoarse, heavy breathing.

"What do you think it is?" Taj whispered.

"I dunno," Jerry whispered back, but it’s cloaked, shielded and probably nasty. " Taj regarded the door. " So, do we go in or not?"

"It would be better if we sent something in ahead of us." He brightened. "And I’ve got just the thing."

A quick call for an Emac, a muttered spell and suddenly there was a fuzzy pink mechanical rabbit standing before them. The rabbit was wearing dark glasses and carrying a bass drum. But he also had a boonie rag tied around his head and an awesomely wicked looking weapon slung across his back The rabbit did a quick half turn to orient himself and marched into the dark room, beating the drum. Four beats later, the drum was drowned out by the roars, growls, snarls and liquid sucking sounds coming from the room. Then the corridor echoed and rang with gunfire and explosions until the watchers clapped their hands over their ears to save their hearing.

Then there was silence. After a few seconds the pink mechanical rabbit appeared out of the smoke. He blew the smoke from the barrel of his weapon, slung it back on his back, adjusted his drum and marched off down the corridor, beating his drum.

A quick peek around the corner showed there was nothing left alive in the room, although there were enough miscellaneous body parts to stock a good-sized zoo-or a terrific nightmare.

"Jeez," said Taj, as he stepped over something that might have been a tentacle and avoided a taloned foot that was still twitching, "what do you suppose this thing was?"

Jerry looked around. "As a friend of mine likes to say, never ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to. Now come on. Let’s see if we can find the others."

Well you wanted to the a fucking hero, Charlie thought. Somehow his definition of a hero’s death had never included being eaten alive by sharks. He could just give up, exhale and sink beneath the water, but natural orneriness in him kept him from taking the easy way out.

Damn! Why couldn’t he have gone down with his plane? At least I won’t end up a zombie.

The fins drew nearer and Charlie braced himself for what must come. Closer and closer they scythed until he could see the wet sheen on the black flesh of the fins and the smooth ripple of water before them. Barely two yards from him the nearest fin disappeared beneath the waves and Charlie gasped in anticipation. Something broke water in front of him. After a second he opened his eyes to find himself facing a very unsharklike snout with the mouth pulled back in a toothy grin.

"Hello," the dolphin squeaked. Behind the first one, two other dolphins had their heads out of the water.

Charlie goggled. It’s a damn good thing I’m already wet, was his mad first thought. Then he laughed in pure relief.

"Go home?" squeaked the dolphin. "Go home now?"

Charlie doubled over laughing and got a nose full of water. He choked and sputtered and the dolphins moved in to support him under the arms.

"Goddamn. You guys are Air-Sea Rescue, right?"

"Go home," the dolphin repeated.

"Okay, son, just lead the way."

Supported and pushed along by the dolphins, Charlie headed north, toward the lands of man.

"Hey, do any of you boys know:" He started to sing. "Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition :"

None of the dolphins did of course, but they were apt pupils and not in the least put off by Charlie’s cracked baritone. By the end of the first mile they had joined in with their mosquito-buzz voices.

": praise the Lord and pass the ammunition, And we’ll allll stayyy freeee." The Executioner’s rock ledges were narrow and slippery and the zombies were clumsy. The second dragon misjudged the landing and was swept into the boiling sea before it could correct. Karin saw a dead man’s head and a dead dragon’s wingtip break the surface before being sucked under the foam. The other undead did not seem to notice.

They couldn’t stay here. The rock was so small it would be the work of moments for the zombies to sniff out their cave. Once that happened they could be cooked by dragon fire in their lair. But there was no way to get airborne without being incinerated either.

"Do you have any magic for this?" Karin whispered. Senta shook her head. Karin nodded and pulled her sword from its scabbard on Stigi’s saddle. Senta did likewise.

Karin reached up and took Stigi’s bridle. As quietly as she could, she turned the dragon around until he was facing out of the crevasse toward the zombies. Senta brought her dragon around. By jockeying and shifting the riders were able to get the dragons squeezed in side by side almost lying on each other but facing out the same way.