L. Modesitt - Mage-Guard of Hamor

"I was thinking about writing a letter, but I didn't think posting it here…"

Taryl nodded. "You're already understanding. Don't post it here, not if you don't want everyone to know what's in it. Oh, no one will open it, but some of the chaos types have skills that can reproduce the writing without breaking the seal, and as my assistant, those beholden to Cyphryt, or some others, will certainly wish to know your thoughts. You can post it somewhere on the way when we leave here. That would be best."

"I'd wondered."

"You won't return to Recluce, you know?"

Rahl looked hard at Taryl.

"I didn't say you wouldn't be able to," replied the older mage. "I said you wouldn't, and you know that as well as I do. It's too small for you already."

"She said that, too."

"Your healer?"

"She's not mine."

"But you wish she were."

Rahl thought for a moment. "Not in that way. I can't ask her to join me here." He laughed, ironically. "I don't even know that she could."

"Like mages, healers are always welcome, and while the mage-guards sponsor them, they don't have to become mage-guards."

"If I wrote her that… that would be a request."

Taryl nodded. "It would be. Especially now, but don't hesitate to let her know how you feel."

Rahl caught a sense of what almost felt like regret from Taryl, but he didn't wish to pry. "I'll have a letter ready for when we leave and can post it."

"That would be best."

Neither spoke as they neared the stables. Then, as they passed through the open doors, the older mage-guard nodded to the ostler who stepped forward. "We aren't riding. Rahl just needs to get more familiar with the horses."

The woman nodded and stepped back. "You might try the big chestnut gelding in the corner. That stall makes it easy to get to the manger. He likes almost everyone."

"Thank you." Taryl smiled, turning toward the southeast corner of the stables.

Even before they reached the farthest stall, the chestnut was turning his head, trying to greet them. Taryl moved along the wooden side of the stall. "You like company, don't you? In a moment, you'll get a treat. Yes, you will." He looked to Rahl. "I want you to try to sense what the horses feel. It will help you with riding, and I have the feeling that we'll be riding more than a little in the seasons ahead." Taryl produced a pearapple and a small knife. He cut a slice off the pearapple, most carefully, then handed it to Rahl.

"Offer it to him on the flat of your palm. You're less likely to get nipped that way. Don't force any feelings. Just leave your order-senses open."

Rahl stepped forward, pearapple ready.

The chestnut's muzzle was soft, and he lifted the slice of pearapple almost delicately.

Rahl thought he could sense… something.

"Wait a moment before you give him another." Taryl handed another slice to Rahl. Rahl held it in the hand away from the chestnut.

The gelding tossed his head, then nuzzled Rahl's empty hand.

Rahl smiled. He could definitely sense something akin to impatience.

Even before breakfast on twoday, Rahl practiced with the small iron blocks. He also put small droplets of water on top of the blocks and tried to move the droplets. That was harder, but he managed. Was it because water embodied more order than moving water that was dispersed, as in the sand, was easier? He didn't know and wished that he now had a copy of The Basis of Order. At that thought, he laughed.

When Rahl walked into the mess for breakfast, he saw Edelya sitting at the women's table next to Saulya and another older mage-guard. He nodded politely to all three and took a seat beside Laryn and across from another mage-guard he hadn't met.

"Rahl, this is Rhyett. He's the assistant to Triad Fieryn."

Rhyett grimaced. "I'm really the assistant to Kielora, and she's the principal assistant to the Triad."

Rahl sensed the whitish aura of chaos around Rhyett. "That means you do everything that no one else wants to do?"

"That's absolutely right."

"What sorts of things?"

"I get to read all the routine dispatches and reports and sort them. I work with Laryn here to prepare the draft reports on past and projected expenditures-we have to track what the stations and regions are spending, and compare them. That way, we can see if anything's out of line…"

Rahl half listened to Rhyett, but he was also aware of a conversation at the juniors' table that had begun after two of the juniors had glanced at Rahl, then looked away. Rahl extended his order-senses.

"… he's the one. Not a senior…"

"… claims he is… or might as well be one…"

"… too young…"

Rahl just smiled. Let them wonder.

"… and on top of all that," Rhyett went on, "as if it weren't enough, I'm supposed to keep in touch with Director Cyphryt's assistants…" His words died away as his eyes flicked toward the women's side of the mess.

"Saulya?" asked Rahl quietly.

"She's one of them. At least, she smiles when she wants something, and she's good to look at. Vladyrt…" Rhyett just shook his head.

Much as he almost instinctively liked Rhyett, Rahl understood exactly why he was an assistant to an assistant. There was such a thing as being too open, especially in a place like Cigoerne. He wanted to snort. Much as Recluce supposedly valued honesty, even in Nylan few of the magisters wanted to hear the truth if it conflicted with what they wanted to believe.

"He thinks he's as important as Cyphryt?" Rahl asked with a smile.

"He's not quite that deluded, but he thinks that the director couldn't do anything without his help," Rhyett replied.

"We'd all like to believe that," said Laryn. "Why, I could claim that nothing would happen here because no one would get fed."

"I can't even claim that," Rahl said, taking a helping of sausage and egg toast.

"Someone said you were an assistant envoy to Recluce," Laryn said. "That's not exactly nothing."

Rahl shrugged helplessly. "I'm just a mage-guard who does what he's told and goes where he's ordered." And happy to be that, considering what could have happened. He took a swallow of the pale lager that was becoming a morning staple for him.

Laryn and Rhyett exchanged glances.

Then Laryn laughed and said,

"A man who claims nothing of naught has never for blind honor fought."

The words were clearly a quote from someone, but Rahl didn't recognize them. He thought he agreed with the sentiment if he had heard it correctly. More important, he decided Taryl should know about the rumors, since Rahl himself had told no one. In the meantime, he tried the egg toast and berry syrup.

After breakfast, Rahl and Taryl walked toward the coach waiting for them outside the entrance to the quarters' wing.

"I'm sorry if I haven't kept you more informed," Taryl said, "but we'll have time to talk on the drive to High Command. It's a good six kays from here, even by the ring road." He gestured for Rahl to enter the coach. "I like sitting on this side."

Rahl settled himself and waited until they were moving before speaking again. "Someone has been spreading the word that I was an assistant envoy to Recluce."

"You were," Taryl replied amiably.

"But I've never told anyone. You told the mage-guard at the river docks, but I don't think he'd be telling people here."

Taryl laughed. "As soon as Cyphryt saw you with me, I'm certain he checked on your assignment-if he didn't already know, which was more likely. He doubtless told his assistants, and they told others…"

"But… I wouldn't ever have been made that, except-"

"Rahl," replied Taryl firmly, "that's life. None of us would be anything except for something. It doesn't always happen, but sometimes good things do come from trials. You wouldn't be here if Shyret hadn't drugged you and tried to destroy your memories. You wouldn't have met the healer in Nylan if you hadn't upset the magisters in Land's End."