Robert Hughes - The Wizard in Waiting

“You ask too many questions, clown.” Ligne turned and explained to the staring Serphimera, “He’s an insolent creature.”

“I see that clearly,” the Priestess responded, and she clamped her jaws tightly together, freezing her expression in place. Serphimera’s head swam. What was she supposed to do?

“Like a cur, he’d been sniffing out my dungeon I wondered if he belonged, somehow, to you?”

“To me, my Lady?” Serphimera said faintly. “Queen Ligne, my business has nothing to do with jesters, and certainly not with this fool!”

“But surely,” Pelmen murmured, “such beauty as the two of you share makes a fool of every man…”

Ligne smiled. “You see why I like to keep him around. He has such a lovely tongue ” Here she looked at Pelmen. ” when he keeps it in his mouth.”

Serphimera looked at them both uncertainly, and it seemed to Pelmen that she made some sort of decision. He braced himself.

“There was a vision… that… that came in a dream. I saw two plots against you, Queen, but neither plot succeeded.”

“Indeed!” said Ligne, startled. She turned to Pelmen. “Clown, get out.”

“Then I’m not to be behinded?”

“Get!” the Queen roared, and Pelmen scrambled up the stairs. Over his shoulder he saw Ligne lean into the cell window and demand: “Tell me more.” He wished he, too, could hear that revelation, but he felt less uncertain of his standing now than he had throughout the morning. Ligne evidently had found no clear link between himself and Serphimera, and that relieved him. He also felt confident Serphimera would not willingly betray him. In fact, he was convinced she had just passed him a pointed warning.

“Two plots,” he muttered to himself, “and neither one will succeed.”

The news was certainly troubling. But if Serphimera had seen it in a vision, he didn’t doubt it for a minute.

Carlad maintained his formal, cool manner as he and Rosha walked down the hallway side by side. Once in the throne room, he dropped that pretense and raced over to join himself to Danyilyn, laughing and clapping the other players on the back. Rosha stood near the doorway, trying to control his rage. Yona Permi quickly joined him.

“I saw Pelmen in the hall this morning,” Parmi said quietly. “He says he has an ally in the walls, as well as a way out for all of us.

Patience, Rosha. Just a few more days.”

“I don’t have a few more days,” Rosha snarled.

“What?”

“The woman has moved me into the room next to hers,” Rosha said grimly.

Then he looked at Parmi. “She’s going to marry me, she says.” Yona nodded. “What am I supposed to do?” Rosha pleaded.

“Stall her.”

“I can’t do that forever. Yona, if that woman chases me around the room again, I swear I’ll break her neck!”

“Don’t do it!” Yona snapped. “You’ll bring the whole castle down on us!”

“I can’t help it! The woman makes me ill!”

“That’s it!” Yona smiled brightly.

“What?”

“Get sick! Everytime she comes near you, get sick. It’s hard to maintain passion for someone who is retching.”

Rosha stared at him. “You mean ”

“It’s easy. I’ll teach you,” Yona said, and he took Rosha aside and began his instruction. By late morning, the young warrior had mastered the art.

Pelmen quickly climbed the stairs to the upper level of the dungeon, and started for the doorway. He stopped short when he saw Joss blocking it. The General appeared to be staring at him, and Pelmen felt some of his uneasiness return. He shot the aged soldier a quick smile. He was not greatly comforted when the Lord of Security returned it “Pardon,” he mumbled as he brushed through the door and into the hall. Joss made no effort to stop him but neither did he get out of the way. Pelmen quickly put some distance between them.

Moments later he slammed the door of his cell and sat on the floor before one of its walls. “What are they saying now?”

They? the castle replied casually. There are at least four hundred conversations currently in progress. Perhaps you could be more specific?

“The Queen and the woman Serphimera! What are they saying?”

Nothing at the moment. Their conversation ended only moments after you were dismissed, with the captive woman pretending ignorance of any further details of these two plots she mentioned, and the Queen cursing her for a liar.

“You say she’s pretending she does know more about them?”

She fears she does.

“Does she think that my presence within the walls constitutes one of the two?”

She does.

“How do you know,” Pelmen demanded.

At this moment she addresses a long supplication to the dragon on your behalf. Since that scaly beast is dead, he surely cannot mind if this House eavesdrops.

Pelmen stared at the wall, his mind as blank as its surface.

This woman’s appraisal of your so-called plot seems to bother you, the Imperial House chortled.

“She’s not the crazy woman you seem to consider her,” Pelmen said quietly. “I know her. And her visions come true.”

Then your plan is doomed to failure. While this House can sympathize with your frustration, this certainly cannot be allowed to interfere with the contract agreed upon this morning.

“I’ll still get your pyramid,” Pelmen said wearily. He lapsed into silence for a moment, then quickly demanded, “What’s the best the most unobtrusive way out of you?”

You plan to press on in spite of her words? “If I make no attempt, I prove her vision true already. What route?”

It grieves this House to make this confession. It was a crack in the foundations that permitted that thief to steal away a captive. It may be reached through those same tunnels you became so thoroughly lost in.

“But you could guide us to it?”

Naturally.

“That’ll have to do. How do I ”

There is a problem. “What problem?”

The crack opens onto the river. Unless your friends are all excellent swimmers, it would seem necessary to have a boat positioned below the crack. There is no boat there,

“I see.”

There is another alternative. “And that is?”

The rulers of this House have long kept a boat secreted in a cavern beneath the northern face of this castle. This cavern can only be reached through a concealed passageway, which can be entered only through the royal apartments, the throne room, and several other strategic locations within these walls. These entry ways are evidently closely guarded secrets, since the spiders who make the passage then-home have not been disturbed in years, “But you know the secret?”

This House watched while the cavern was carved! the castle snarled.

“Very well.” Pelmen nodded. “But how do I get Serphi-mera out of the dungeon and up to one of these entry points in order to escape?”

That is a problem you must solve. While this House might permit the theft of another captive, you cannot expect it to suggest how such might be done!

Pelmen nodded and spent the rest of the afternoon grilling the castle about possible escape routes and planning possible scenarios for their grand attempt. The castle was intrigued by this fool’s errand. So intrigued, in fact, that it paid no attention to a brief encounter that took place between Joss and the Queen as Ligne left the dungeon. It never heard the General mutter, “Now?”

Nor did it hear Ligne swiftly reply, “Not yet”

THE LAZY OCCUPANTS of Pahd’s fortress took little notice of Flayh, except to observe that he seemed unduly industrious, and to suggest that he take life a little easier. Flayh responded to each of these comments with a silent smile so false and threatening that no one had yet dared to address him twice. Chogi lan Pahd-el was the only one who engaged him in conversation. She, however, was certainly enough. The old girl pursued him through the castle like a bulldog short of wind and stubby of legs, but long on determination. He’d been forced to repeat a dozen spells due to Pahd’s mother interrupting him at a critical juncture. It had happened again just a moment before, and he was contemplating what slimy denizen of the deep he’d like to change the woman into as he accompanied her up the royal tower’s steps.