James Islington - The Shadow Of What Was Lost

Caeden forced himself to stand, still trying to comprehend what had happened. He had killed the creature. Had it been the right thing to do? Would it have told the truth about who he was – and if it had, would he have liked what it said?

He stared at the pile of ashes morosely. There could be no knowing now.

“I’ll survive,” he said softly.

Wirr came to stand next to him, looking at the ashes on the road in fascination. A gentle wind sprang up, scattering some of them to the grass on the roadside. “How did you do that, Caeden?” he asked. “The shields you gave us. I’ve never seen anything like it. It wasn’t Essence.”

Caeden shook his head. Already the memory of how to use that power was hazy again, though he knew it would not fade entirely. There was something about Essence – something about wielding it – that seemed to stimulate his memories, bringing them to the fore. He still wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not, but it was valuable knowledge nonetheless.

“I don’t know,” he admitted to Wirr. “I just reacted instinctively, and they appeared.”

“Just in time,” noted Taeris. He clapped Caeden on the back. “You saved our lives, lad.”

Caeden forced a smile. “Perhaps it can go some way to paying you back for bringing the sha’teth down on you in the first place,” he said wryly.

“That’s hardly your fault.”

Caeden started. It was Aelric who had spoken, still standing a little distance away but looking at him with an expression of vague approval. “We owe you a debt, Caeden.”

Not knowing what to say, Caeden gave Aelric an appreciative nod. The five of them stared at the remains of the sha’teth for a moment longer, then Taeris said, “We should get moving before those other travellers come back and start asking questions.”

Caeden glanced up. The road ahead was empty aside from scattered belongings and the four bodies a little further along; everyone else had fled, running as hard as they could until they had lost sight of the road altogether. Still, many of them had left what were probably their only possessions behind. It would not be long before some of them began to venture back.

“What about the bodies?” asked Wirr. “We can’t just leave them.”

Taeris grimaced. “We have no choice. Those who come back will see they get a proper burial, I’m sure.”

They began walking again, carefully navigating around the blood-soaked section of road where the corpses lay. After a few minutes, Taeris matched his stride to Caeden’s.

“So. It seems you’re an Augur, too,” he said, keeping his voice low. “Wirr was right. That wasn’t Essence you used to save us.”

Caeden didn’t respond for a few seconds. He’d guessed as much, but at the moment it seemed like just one more thing to worry about. “It was instinct,” he eventually reiterated, not taking his eyes from the road ahead. “I don’t know how I did it.”

Taeris grunted, looking dissatisfied but seeing he was not going to get any further comment on the matter. “What did the sha’teth say to you, just before the end?”

Caeden shrugged. “It was spouting nonsense. Nothing that made sense.”

Taeris raised an eyebrow. “Such as?” He scratched his beard. “It might be important.”

Caeden hesitated. He had no intention of telling Taeris what the sha’teth was going to reveal. “It said it had killed him. When I asked who it meant, it just acted disappointed that I didn’t know.” It was at least some of the truth, hopefully enough to satisfy Taeris' curiosity.

Taeris thought for a moment. “Another mystery,” he sighed eventually. He gave Caeden a mock stern look. “You really need to get your memories back, lad.”

“No argument here,” Caeden replied, doing his best to sound cheerful.

They kept walking. In the distance, Fedris Idri was now clearly visible, and further along the road he could see more people heading towards them. A steady stream, in fact.

They were almost to Ilin Illan.

Asha watched as Erran shifted uncomfortably in front of her, clearly hesitant to proceed.

The young man took a deep breath, exchanging worried glances with Elocien, Kol and Fessi, who had gathered for the occasion and were looking on from the corner of the room. Then he turned back to Asha.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

“I’m sure,” Asha affirmed, though her stomach twisted as she said the words. In truth, the certainty she’d felt the previous day had faded.

"Ashalia," interjected the duke, his tone gentle. "Do you really think Elder Tenvar lied to you?" He hesitated. "It’s not that I don’t believe you, but I wouldn’t want to see you go through this for no reason."

Asha turned to him. "I need to know," she said simply.

Elocien inclined his head, and Kol and Fessi both gave her encouraging smiles, though the concern in their eyes was obvious. Erran hadn’t minced words when he’d explained the dangers of trying to restore her memory.

In front of her, Erran sighed. "Okay." He paced back and forth for a couple of seconds, rubbing his hands together in a nervous motion. “Okay. Ready?”

Asha nodded.

Erran stopped in front of her, leaned forward, and pressed his fingertips against her temple. There was nothing for a few moments and then the slightest pressure at the back of her skull, like the beginnings of a headache.

The feeling began to build, gradually at first, but soon enough Asha’s head was throbbing with it.

“Erran,” she said uncertainly. “I’m not sure if - ”

The pressure burst.

A gentle warmth flooded through her head. It wasn’t an unpleasant sensation, but it made her gasp nonetheless. Her thoughts were suddenly scattered, jumbled.

Erran stepped back, lowering his hand. His eyes were full of horror.

“Fates. I’m so sorry.”

And then the memory came crashing back into her.

There was pain behind Asha’s eyes, but she forced them open anyway.

She stared around, trying to get her bearings. What had happened? Jagged-edged images flashed through her mind and she sat up sharply, heart pounding, panic threatening to take over.

Someone had attacked the school. Everyone was dead.

"Ashalia."

She turned to see a blond-haired Administrator watching her with a worried expression. He looked… familiar. She stared at his face for a few seconds in confusion.

"Do you recognise me?" asked the man, his tone gentle.

"Yes," said Asha slowly. Her memories began to order themselves, and the fear subsided. Faded into grief. "Duke Andras. Elocien."

"Good." Elocien looked relieved. He leaned forward, taking her hand and squeezing it. "We were worried."

"We?" Asha looked around with some effort, but only she and the duke were in the room. It was her sleeping quarters, she realised after a few seconds.

"All of us. It’s almost dawn; the others went to bed a few hours ago. You’ve been asleep for nearly a day."

Asha struggled up into a sitting position. "That long?"

Elocien nodded. Then his expression sobered. "Erran told us what happened. What you saw, before Tenvar made you a Shadow." He shook his head. "That note from Torin… I never knew about it. I suspect the Council didn’t, either."

Asha smiled as she remembered. Davian and I are leaving . "He’s alive," she murmured, still barely daring to believe it. Then her smile faded, and a wave of fury washed through her as her thoughts cleared and she was able to analyse the new memories, come to grips with them. "What have you done about Elder Tenvar?"

Elocien grimaced. "We’re watching him."

"We need to lock him up." She thought of everyone who had died at the school, of the bloodied corpses of her friends, and her expression hardened. "At the least."