James Islington - The Shadow Of What Was Lost

It had been frustrating at first; aside from trying to use Essence, Davian had never had so much trouble learning anything in his life. Even now, he sweated with the strain of concentration, letting time move all around him but letting it touch him as little as possible. It had been a difficult concept to explain for both Malshash and the authors of the books he’d read, and now Davian understood why. It was like trying to stand in a stream of water without getting wet.

He leaned down, grabbing the stone in mid-air, allowing the time bubble – as he thought of it - to encapsulate it as well. That was important, otherwise the stone would in reality be moving at speeds its structure could not handle, and would likely disintegrate or melt. He moved a few paces away from Malshash and then relaxed, allowing time to crash back into him. It was momentarily disorienting, but he quickly recovered.

Malshash blinked, then realised the stone had vanished from in front of him. He looked up at Davian, who opened his palm to display the smooth rock, grinning.

Malshash smiled back. “Excellent, Davian.” The praise was genuine, but he seemed less enthusiastic today for some reason.

Davian still had not been able to figure out the enigmatic stranger, who this morning wore the face of a handsome young man with jet-black hair, dark skin and deep, piercing eyes. At times Malshash seemed distant, like today; at others he seemed jovial, friendly. Mostly, though, Davian thought he seemed sad. Occasionally he would catch Malshash watching him train, and there would be such a look of pain on his face that it almost made him stop.

He didn’t intrude as to why, though. Whenever he asked personal questions of Malshash, the Augur simply went quiet. Those matters were something Malshash clearly had no interest in talking about.

Davian accepted the compliment with an inclined head, the feeling of accomplishment a warmth in his belly. “Necessity is a wonderful motivator,” he said in a dry tone. Then he grinned. “I have to say, though, that kan is… amazing. These abilities, this power, is more than I could ever have dreamed. I’ve never experienced anything like it.”

Malshash studied him for a moment. “I understand,” he said quietly, “ but be very wary of enjoying yourself too much. Most Augurs learn these powers as they grow up - are taught their proper applications over the course of years, not weeks.”

Davian’s smile faded. "What do you mean?"

Malshash shrugged. “Augurs are supposed to train in each power for a year and a day before they are allowed to use them in the real world. You’re going to have a grand total of a few weeks for all of them, if we’re lucky. On top of that, you’ve been striving for your powers for so long, and now you’re receiving them all at once. On the one hand, that will make you more appreciative of them. On the other, it could make you overeager to use them.”

Davian raised an eyebrow. “So… you don’t trust me?”

“It’s not that,” Malshash rushed to assure him. “It’s only that I’ve seen firsthand what power like this can do to the best of people. I’m not suggesting it will happen to you. But believe me, you will be tested. You’ll have opportunities – many opportunities – to use kan in ways that will benefit you, but are not strictly… moral. It’s a constant temptation, Davian. There is a reason why the training is supposed to take so long. You need to be prepared for the new choices these powers give you.”

Davian nodded, though he still felt vaguely irritated at the suggestion he would abuse his abilities. “Of course.”

Malshash watched him for a moment longer, then nodded in a satisfied manner. “Good.” He stroked his chin. Davian often wondered whether his real form had a beard, for it seemed to be a habit of his, regardless of what face he wore. “Which power should we try next?”

Davian didn’t have to think; he knew which one he wanted to try the most. “Foresight.”

Malshash hesitated, then shook his head. “I’m sorry. I suppressed that ability for a reason, Davian. It’s just too dangerous here.”

“But surely it’s the closest ability to travelling through the rift itself,” pointed out Davian. “Isn’t it worth the risk?”

Malshash looked uncomfortable. “It’s doesn’t matter. I gave up the power to See some time ago,” he confessed. “I don’t have the knowledge of how to do it.”

“ What ?” Davian frowned in confusion. “You… gave it up? Why?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Malshash rubbed the back of his neck tiredly, his tone indicating he wished to discuss the topic no further. “I can’t See, and so I am of little help to you in that regard.”

Davian scowled. "Why not just tell me?"

Malshash met his gaze, a chill in his stare. "Because it’s none of your business , Davian." He held up his hand. "I know that’s not a satisfactory answer, but it’s all you’re going to get. So, please. Let it go."

Davian grimaced, but nodded his acquiescence. If Malshash wanted to be mysterious, that was his prerogative, so long as he taught Davian what was needed to get home. "Fine. If you don’t know how to See, do you at least know something about it? The books all said that the visions inevitably come to pass… but as I told you, in my time the Augurs were overthrown after their visions stopped coming true. What does that mean?"

Malshash hesitated. "If what I’ve come to believe here, these past couple of weeks, is true… it means they were tricked, Davian. It’s as simple as that."

"So you don’t believe the future can be changed?"

"I did, once. I… hoped it could be," admitted Malshash. "But from what I’ve seen… the future can no more be changed than the past."

Davian frowned. “So our fate is set, no matter what we do? We can’t change anything?”

Malshash inclined his head. “I think so - though perhaps that’s not the best way to think about it," he said quietly. "The future may be immutable, but it’s not because our choices do not change anything. It’s that they already have changed things. The decisions you make tomorrow are the same as those you made yesterday - still your choices and still with consequences, but unalterable. The only difference is your knowledge of the decisions you made yesterday."

Davian screwed up his face. “I don’t understand.”

Malshash sighed. “When you came to this time, you momentarily stepped outside of time. A place where time doesn’t exist. Nothing to separate events from one another, or to give them length. They happen simultaneously and for eternity.” He shrugged. “In short, all that will happen, has already happened. It’s just that we are experiencing it through the lens of time.”

Davian shook his head. "I don’t accept that. There has to be another explanation."

Malshash grunted. “You’re not a believer in El, then?”

Davian frowned at the question. “Not especially. That religion has been all but destroyed in my time - in Andarra at least.”

Malshash raised an eyebrow. “Has it now,” he murmured. He nodded to himself. “I see. Because of what you told me about the Augurs.”

Davian nodded. “As soon as they began to get things wrong, people started losing faith. After the Unseen War, the Loyalists decided it meant either El had never existed, his plan had gone awry somehow, or that he was dead – and that in any case, no-one should be worshipping him.”

Malshash sighed. “Such is the way of weak men,” he murmured. “Daring to believe only in what can be seen, touched and measured.”

Davian frowned. “I thought the logic made a kind of sense.”

Malshash shook his head ruefully. “It does - that’s the problem. It was always a danger, priests pointing to the abilities of men as proof of the existence of God. Already, even in this time, they are becoming reliant on the acts of the Augurs to proclaim El’s existence. It sounds like it will destroy them.”