Lynn Flewelling - The Oracle's Queen

“I’d be happy to, if he’d tell me what they are! He treats me like I’m someone else now.”

“Well, like it or not, you are.”

“No!”

Tharin patted her shoulder. “Maybe just who you were, then, with more added on.”

“Tits, you mean?”

“You call those little flea bites tits?” He laughed at her outraged look. “Yes, your body’s changed, and that’s something that can’t just be pushed aside, especially not by a young man with Ki’s hot blood.”

Tamír looked away, mortified. “I want him to see me as a girl, to like me that way, but then again, I don’t. Oh, Tharin, I’m so confused!”

“You both need time to know your hearts.”

“ You always treat me just the same.”

“Well now, it’s different with me, isn’t it? Boy or girl, you’re Rhius’ child. But you’re not a little one anymore, for me to carry on my shoulder and make toys for. You’re my liege and I’m your man. But Ki?” He picked up the discarded flannel and rubbed it over her dripping hair. “I know what your feelings for him have grown to this past year or so. He knows it, too.”

“But shouldn’t that make it easier?”

He paused in his drying. “How would you feel if you woke up tomorrow and Ki was a girl?”

Tamír blinked up at him through her tangled hair. “It’s not the same! That would make things harder between us, like when I was a boy. This way, we can—have each other. If he wants to!”

“First he’ll have to stop seeing Tobin every time he looks at you. And that won’t be easy because he’s still looking so hard to see him.”

“I know. Who do you see, Tharin?”

He patted her knee. “I told you. I see my friend’s child.”

“You really loved my father, didn’t you?”

He nodded. “And he loved me.”

“But he left you for Mother. Why didn’t you stop loving him then?”

“Sometimes love can change its form rather than end. That’s what happened with your father.”

“But your feelings never changed, did they?”

“No.”

She was old enough now to guess at what he was leaving unsaid. “Didn’t it hurt?”

She’d never seen the sorrow more clearly in his face, or the sharp edge of anger that came with it when he nodded and replied softly, “Like fire, at first, and for a long time after. But not enough to drive me away, and I can say now that I’m glad. There was a time when I’d have answered differently. I was a grown man by then, and I had my pride.”

“Why did you stay?”

“He asked me to.”

She’d never heard him say so much before. “I always wondered—”

“What?”

“After Mama got sick and turned against him, were—were you and Father ever lovers again?”

“Certainly not!”

“I’m sorry. That was rude.” Still, something in that last response intrigued her—a flash of pride. She wondered what it meant but knew better than to ask. “So what do I do about Ki?”

“Give him time. Ki could never have loved you the way you wanted as Tobin. It just isn’t in him. But he suffered over it, and now he’s suffering over the loss of who you two were together.” He draped the flannel over her shoulder. “Let him heal a while. You can do that for him, can’t you?”

She nodded. Of course she could. But that didn’t make her feel any better tonight. “Is he out there?”

“He went off by himself, but he’ll be back.”

“We’ll need more hot water for sure, then,” Tamír mused. “Should I leave while he bathes?”

Tharin shrugged. “It would be polite to ask.”

The courtyard was filled with soldiers and servants. Ki kept to the shadows and went to the new stone stable, where the wounded were being tended.

Illardi bred fine horses from Aurënfaie stock; his stable was far nicer than the house where Ki had been born, and considerably larger. Inside, Ki could just make out rafters and dressed stone at the edge of the lamplight. It smelled of new wood and fresh straw, but also of blood and wounds, and herbs being burned or brewed on the braziers. Half a dozen drysian healers were at work, wearing bloodstained aprons over their long brown robes.

People lay everywhere on makeshift pallets, looking like bundles of laundry laid out for washing day. Ki picked his way among them, looking for Nikides and Tanil. One of the healers noticed him and came over.

“Lord Kirothieus, are you seeking the Companions?” she asked. “We put them together, over there in that stall at the end.”

He found Nikides propped up in a deep bed of new straw. Another figure sat huddled in a far corner of the stall, muffled in several blankets. Even his head was covered.

“Tanil?” When Ki moved closer, the squire let out a soft moan and cowered deeper into the shadows. Ki settled back on his heels. “It’s all right. You’re safe here.”

Tanil said nothing, just curled more tightly in on himself.

“Ki, is that you?” It was a papery whisper.

Ki turned to find Nikides awake and blinking up at him. “Yes. How are you?”

“Better, I think. Where are we?”

“At Duke Illardi’s estate.”

“Illardi?” Nikides glanced around in confusion. “But I thought— I dreamed I was at the Old Palace. There were people dying around me. I thought I saw you—and Tobin.”

“It was no dream. We had you moved here. Lynx is still with us, too, and came through without a damn scratch! I think he and I are the only ones who did. And Una, too. Remember her?”

Nikides brightened at that. “She’s alive?”

“Yes. She ran off and joined up with my sister Ahra’s riders. She learned her lessons well. She’s a blooded warrior already.”

“So there are some of us left, after all.”

“Yes. What happened with you, Nik?”

Nikides tried to sit up and groaned. “I told them I was never cut out to be a warrior.” With Ki’s help he managed to prop himself against the wall. “I was with Korin. We were trying to get him away—” He closed his eyes against some painful memory. “I didn’t see the archer until it was too late.”

“You were lucky. The shaft missed your lung.”

Nikides shifted again and caught sight of the huddled figure in the corner. “Who’s that?”

“Tanil.”

“Thank the Four, we thought you were dead! Tanil? Ki, what’s wrong with him?”

“He was captured.” Ki leaned closer and lowered his voice. “Tortured, and—well, raped, like they do. We found him planked up against a bam north of the city.”

Nikides’ eyes widened. “Maker’s Mercy!”

“He’s in bad shape. Tamír wanted him kept close to you.”

“Tamír?”

Ki sighed. “Tobin, that is. You saw her back at the palace, remember? You spoke to her.”

“Ah. I thought I’d dreamed that, too.”

“No dream. A prophecy fulfilled, or so they say.”

“Then Skala has a queen again!” Nikides whispered. “If only Grandfather had lived to see it.” He fell silent a moment. “So, how is Tobin? Princess Tamír, I mean.”

“She’s fine.”

“She.” Nikides murmured, “It’s going to take some getting used to, isn’t it? Tell me, how did it happen?”

Ki gave him a quick summary. “It was magic, but not like anything I’d ever heard of before. But I saw her myself, naked as the dawn, and it’s no trick. She’s Tamír now; Tamír Ariani Ghërilain.”

“A good name.”

Nikides was taking it very well, Ki thought sourly.

“Amazing, isn’t it, that the queen the Illiorans have been whispering about all these years was hiding right in plain sight?”

“Amazing, all right.” The bitterness in his voice left Nikides speechless for a moment.