Lynn Flewelling - The Oracle's Queen

“Then what is it?” she demanded. “It feels so different between us now. I hate it!”

Caught off guard, Ki let his mouth run away with him and spoke the truth. “Me, too. I guess I just miss Tobin.”

She turned around and gripped him by the shoulders. “I am Tobin!”

He tried to look away, to hide the tears stinging his eyes, but she held him.

“Please, Ki, I need you to be the same!”

Ashamed of his own weakness, he pried her hands from his shoulders and held them tightly between his own. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. But now, you’re—”

“Just a girl?”

“No. You’re to be queen, Tamír, You are already, by right.” She tried to pull away, but he held on. “A queen this grass knight can’t sleep close with on cold winter nights, or swim with, or wrestle—”

“Why not?”

It was Ki who pulled away this time, unable to bear the hurt in her eyes. “It wouldn’t be proper! Damn it, if you’re to be queen, you have to act the part, don’t you? You’re still a warrior, but you’re a woman, too—or a girl, anyway. And boys and girls? They just don’t do all that. Not nobles, anyway,” he added, blushing. He’d made do with servant girls, just like everyone else, but he’d never felt ashamed of that until now.

Tamír sat back, lips set in a grim line, but he could see the corners trembling. “Fine. Leave me, then, while I bathe.”

“I’ll go see how Nik and Tanil are doing. I won’t be long.”

“Take your time.”

Ki headed for the door. She didn’t call him back, just sat there glaring a hole in the bed. Ki slipped out and set the latch softly, his heart in turmoil, then turned to find Tharin and Una watching him expectantly.

“She’s—uh—going to bathe,” Ki mumbled. “I’ll be back.”

Ducking his head, he brushed past them. As he strode away, it felt like a door of a different sort had slammed shut between them, with him on the outside.

Tamír fought back more tears as she undressed and slid into the tub. She ducked under the water and briskly rubbed the soap over her hair, but she couldn’t escape her thoughts.

She’d always been odd, even as Tobin, but Ki had always understood and accepted her. Now it seemed he could only see the stranger she’d become—a homely, scrawny girl he was too embarrassed to look at. She slid a finger through the ring that had been her mother’s, gazing down at the profiles of her parents. Her mother had been beautiful, even after she’d gone mad.

Maybe if I looked more like her? she wondered glumly. Not much chance of that.

She wanted to be angry with Ki, but this sumptuous room suddenly felt too lonely without him. Her gaze strayed to the large bed. She’d seldom slept alone. First there’d been Nari, her nurse, then Ki. She tried to imagine replacing him with Una and cringed, remembering that embarrassing kiss the girl had given her, believing Tobin was just a shy, backward boy. There’d been little time to speak with her since the change, but thanks to Tharin and his organizing, it would be hard to avoid her now.

“Bilairy’s balls!” she groaned. “What am I going to do?”

Survive, Sister. Live for both of us .

Tamír sat up so abruptly water sloshed over the side onto the floor. Brother stood before her, a faint but unmistakable shape untouched by the fire or candle glow.

“What are you doing here? I thought—I thought you’d gone on.”

It was hard to look at him now—the image of the young man she thought she’d be. He was as pale as ever, his eyes as flat and black, but otherwise he looked as he would have in life, right down to a faint tracing of dark hair on his upper lip. Suddenly shy under that unblinking gaze, she wrapped her arms around her knees.

His hard, whispery voice invaded her mind. You will live, Sister. For both of us. You will rule, for both of us. You owe me a life, Sister .

“How do I repay a debt like that?”

He just stared.

“Why are you still here?” she demanded. “Lhel said you’d be free when I cut out the piece of your bone. The rest of you burned up with the doll. There was nothing left, not even ash.”

The unavenged dead do not rest .

“Unavenged? You were stillborn. They told me.”

They lied. Learn the truth, Sister . He hissed the last word like a curse.

“Can you find Lhel for me? I need her!”

The demon shook his head and the hint of a smile on his dead lips sent a chill through her. The bond of skin and bone was sundered. Tamír could no longer command him. The realization frightened her.

“Are you here to kill me?” she whispered.

Those black eyes went darker still and his smile was poisonous. How many times I wanted to!

He advanced, passing through the side of the tub to kneel before her in the water, face inches from her. The water went achingly cold, like the river below the keep in spring. The demon grasped her bare shoulders and his cold fingers bit into her flesh, feeling all too solid. See? I am no helpless shade. I could reach into your chest and squeeze your heart as I did to the fat one who called himself your guardian .

She was truly terrified now, more than she ever had been with him. “What do you want, demon?”

Your pledge, Sister. Avenge my death .

Dreadful realization penetrated the haze of fear. “Who was it? Lhel? Iya?” She swallowed hard. “Father?”

The murdered cannot speak the name of their killers, Sister. You must learn that for yourself .

“Damn you!”

Brother was still smiling as he slowly faded away.

The door flew open and Tharin and Una burst in, swords drawn.

“What’s wrong?” asked Tharin.

“Nothing,” Tamír said quickly. “I’m fine, just—just thinking out loud.”

Tharin nodded to Una and she retreated and closed the door. Tharin swept a suspicious eye around the room as he sheathed his sword.

“I’m almost done here,” she told him, hugging her knees to her chest. “I told Ki he could use the water when I’m done but it’s gone cold.”

Brother had stolen the last of the heat. No, don’t think of him right now, and what he’d hinted at . She’d had too much to bear already, without looking for murderers among what was left of her circle of trusted friends. She clung to the fact that Tharin had not been anywhere near her mother that night. But Iya had, and Arkoniel. Perhaps there had been someone else? It was too painful to contemplate.

“That’s a long face.” Tharin helped her from the tub and wrapped her in a large flannel, rubbing her hair with a corner of it.

Tamír dried herself and put on the robe again, not looking at him as she let the flannel drop.

When she was dressed, he urged her into bed and pulled the comforter up around her, then sat down and took her hand. “That’s better.”

His kind, knowing look undid her. She threw her arms around his neck and hid her face against his chest, not caring that he still stank of blood and smoke. “I’m glad you’re still with me!”

He rubbed her back. “As long as I draw breath.”

“I’m going to make you a prince of the realm when I’m queen.”

Tharin chuckled. “Bad enough you’ve made me a lord. Leave well enough alone.”

He stroked a wet strand of hair back from her cheek and gave one braid a tug. “You’re worried about Ki.”

Tamír nodded. It was half the truth, anyway.

“He didn’t look any happier than you when he left.” She felt him sigh. “You’re determined to keep him by you, aren’t you?”

“You think I’m wrong?”

“No, but you might consider the boy’s feelings.”