Джуд Уотсон: Jedi Apprentice 7: The Captive Temple

"No need," Mace Windu interrupted. He laced his long fingers together.

"Until a decision is made by the Council, we must ask you not to interfere with Temple business unless we ask you otherwise."

Obi-Wan felt stung. "The Temple is my home!" he cried.

"You are welcome to remain here until your situation is resolved, of course," Mace Windu said. "There is still much discussion to take place."

"But there is a real threat to the Temple," Obi-Wan argued. "You need help. And I wasn't here during the petty thefts. I'm one of the few Jedi students who can be ruled out as a suspect. Someone could have helped Bruck.

I could investigate."

Obi-Wan saw with a sinking feeling that he had made a mistake. He should have known better than to ask the Council to take him back based on the fact that he could be of use to them in a crisis.

Mace Windu's sharp gaze cut him like ice. "I think the Jedi can manage to solve the crisis without that kind of help from you."

"Of course," Obi-Wan said. "But I wish to tell all the Jedi Masters that I feel genuine remorse for my decision. It felt right at the time, but I've come to see how wrong it was. I want nothing more than to have back what I once had. I want to be a Padawan. I want to be a Jedi."

"Have again what you had, you cannot," Yoda said. "Different you are.

Different is Qui-Gon. Every moment makes you so. Every decision a cost it has."

Ki-Adi-Mundi spoke up. "Obi-Wan, you have violated not only the trust of Qui-Gon, but the trust of the Council. You seem not to recognize this."

"But I do!" Obi-Wan exclaimed. "I take responsibility for it and I'm sorry for it."

"You are thirteen years old, Obi-Wan. You are not a child," Mace Windu said with a frown. "Why do you speak as one? Sorry does not make the offense disappear. You interfered in the internal affairs of a planet without official Jedi approval. You defied the order of your Master. A Master depends on the loyalty of the Padawan, just as the Padawan depends on the Master. If that trust is broken, the bond shatters."

The sting of Mace's words made Obi-Wan wince. He did not expect the Council to be so severe. He couldn't look at Qui-Gon. His gaze found Yoda's.

"Unclear your path is, Obi-Wan," Yoda said with more gentleness. "Hard it is to wait. But wait you must to see your way revealed."

"You may go, Obi-Wan," Mace Windu said. "We must speak with Qui-Gon privately. You may go to your old quarters."

Well, at least that's something, Obi-Wan thought. He struggled to maintain his dignity as he bowed to the Council. But he knew his cheeks burned with shame as he left the room.

Obi-Wan felt relieved as the door hissed behind him. He couldn't face the Masters for one more second. Never in his expectations had he thought his first meeting would go so badly.

He saw a slight figure at the end of the hall, and some of his anxiety lifted. "Bant!" he called.

"I was waiting for you." Bant came toward him, her silver eyes alight.

Her salmon skin glowed against a soft blue tunic.

"It's good to see a friend," Obi-Wan admitted.

Bant peered at him. "It did not go well."

"It could not have gone worse."

She slipped her arms around Obi-Wan and hugged him. Obi-Wan caught the scent of salt and sea, a unique scent he always associated with Bant, for on Bant, even salt smelled sweet. As a Calamarian, she was amphibious, needing moisture to live. Her room was kept filled with steam, and she took several swims a day.

"Let's go," Bant murmured.

He didn't have to ask where. They took the lift tube down to the lake level. It was their special spot. After long days of classes and training, there was nothing Bant liked better than to immerse herself in the water for a long swim. Obi-Wan often joined her, or sometimes sat on the bank, watching her gracefully glide underneath the green water.

They exited the lift tube and walked out to what seemed to be a beautiful sunny day on the surface of the planet. But they both knew that the golden sun set in a blue sky was actually a series of illumination banks set high in the domed ceiling. The ground under their feet had been planted with flowering shrubs and leafy trees. Today the lake area was deserted.

Obi-Wan could not see anyone swimming, or walking along the many trails.

"Students have been asked to stay in their quarters or the dining halls and meditation rooms if they are not in their classes," Bant said. "It is not an order, merely a request. The attack on Yoda has made us all cautious."

"It was a shocking thing," Obi-Wan said.

"But what about you?" Bant asked. "What did the Council say?"

Bitterness rose in Obi-Wan. "They will not take me back."

Bant looked startled. "They said this?"

Obi-Wan stared out at the lake, his eyes burning. "Well, no, not in those words. But their attitude was very severe. I must wait, they say.

Bant, what am I going to do?"

She gazed at him, her large silver eyes full of compassion. "Wait."

He turned away impatiently. "You sound like Yoda."

She put a hand on his arm. "But Obi-Wan, what you did was a serious offense. Not serious enough to get kicked out forever," she added quickly when she saw the look in his eyes. "But the Council will need to see proof of your sincerity. They will need to meet with you several times. They are compassionate, Obi-Wan, but they have the whole Jedi order to protect. It is good that this is so. The Jedi path can be a hard one, and the Council must be sure that your commitment is absolute. That the commitment of each of us is absolute."

"My commitment is absolute," Obi-Wan said fiercely.

"How can the Council be sure of this, and how can Qui-Gon be sure?"

Bant asked with great gentleness. "For you have said that before, when you first joined him."

Anger filled Obi-Wan, an anger fueled by frustration. He knew that Bant did not want to hurt him. She gazed at him now with concerned, loving eyes, afraid she had offended him.

"I see," he said shortly. "You blame me, too."

"No," she said quietly. "I am telling you that it will take more time than you wish it to take, maybe more time than you think you will be able to bear. But the Council will relent and see what I see."

"And what is that?" Obi-Wan asked, scowling. "An angry boy? A fool?"

"A Jedi," she said softly, and it was the best thing she could have said.

Suddenly, Obi-Wan was struck by a thought. What if the Council took him back, but Qui-Gon did not? If the Council allowed him to remain a Jedi student, he was already thirteen and past the limit to be chosen by a Jedi Knight as a Padawan. Who would ask him, if not Qui-Gon?

He didn't want another Master, Obi-Wan thought in despair. He wanted Qui-Gon.

They had walked to the far side of the lake without Obi-Wan noticing.

Here there was a small cove where Bant loved to wade. She stepped into the water, smiling as the coolness washed over her ankles.

"Tell me about Melida/Daan," she said. "No one knows what happened there. What was it that made you commit to their cause and leave us?"

Obi-Wan froze. Perhaps it was the trace of the smile on Bant's face as she asked the question. Perhaps it was the way the light hit the water, or the way her silver eyes gazed at him trustingly. Perhaps it was the amount of life in that small moment, so beautiful that it blinded him.

He could not tell her about Cerasi. With so much life around him, how could he speak of death?

Obi-Wan was suddenly at a loss for words. He had never had trouble talking to Bant before. But what could he say?

On Melida/Daan, I saw a friend die in front of me. I saw the life in her eyes flicker and dim. I held her in my arms. I felt another beloved friend turn his back on me. A comrade in arms betrayed me. And I betrayed my Master. A string of betrayals and a death that has marked my heart forever.