Harry Harrison - The Stainless Steel Rat Goes to Hell

"That was my idea, I really meant I was volunteering—he also ordered me to do it, knowing you would get nothing out of it. And it would add to my credibility. I had no choice..

"Forget it," I said. "It's all in the past and we can get through to the other universes again since the professor has undone your damage. Your spying days for Slakey are over, so now you can spy for us. You could very well be the key to putting paid to all the Slakeys. Help us and maybe we will be able to save the other you."

"Could you really?"

"We can but try. Now—the first question. What is going on with all the rock mining and crushing and sorting? We still have no idea of what Slakey's operation is all about. You used the word 'unnildeenovum. ' What is it?"

"I have no idea. But since the other me was with Slakey all of the time I could see and hear everything that he did. He used the word in reference to the sorting tables, just once."

"It must be the substance we were looking for," Angelina said. "But what is it used for?"

"I don't know. But I do know it is the most important thing for Slakey. Nothing else really matters. And I think I know where it goes. Slakey kept me chained to the machine, the one like the professor's there, so! could tell him everything that was happening. But I could also see everything that he was doing. There were sometimes up to three of him present at one time. They didn't talk because, after all, they were all the same person. But one time he had that robot on the screen and he said something like 'Take the unnildeenovum there. ' That was all."

"That's enough," Professor Coypu said, throwing some switches and pointing at the screen. Blue skies and floating white clouds. "Heaven. That's where it is all happening. He could have his mine on any one of a thousand planets, but what he mines ends up n Heaven for processing—"

"Just a moment if you please, Professor," I said. "What was that remark about any one of a thousand planets?"

• "The substance he is mining. Very common."

"You know what it is?"

• "Of course. Your clothing and Angelina's were coated with it. It is called coal. A crystalline form of carbon. It can be found on a great number of planets. He has it mined and ground to a fine powder. It is then bombarded in the cyclotron where a certain small proportion is changed to unnildecnovum, which is then sorted out by the women. Its very name reveals its identity. Unnildecnovum, one hundred and nineteen in the periodic table. A new element with unknown qualities. Entropy is involved, that is all we can be sure of. The women can detect that, so they can sort the unnildecnovum from the coal dust. This is then collected by that shoddy robot and taken—some place for some reason."

"Find the place—and we find the reason," I said triumphantly. "It has to be in Heaven, that is one thing we can be sure of."

"I'll take care of that," Inskipp said as he marched in. He had undoubtedly been monitoring everything that was happening in the lab and had picked the right moment to take over. "The Space Marines are on their way here. Gunships, tanks, flame throwers, field guns..

"No way, Jose," I said with a great deal of feeling. "You can't hijack my operation at this late date. Nor do we need all the troops and armaments. We keep this small. Remember—we have only one man to fight. Even if he has a number of manifestations. Him—end his rickety robot which Angelina has promised to take care of in a suitably destructive manner. We have put together a good fighting team and we all go in together. If Professor Coypu can give us defenses against Slakey's weapons."

"Already done," Coypu said with unseemly self—satisfaction. "I have analyzed the atmosphere of Heaven. I know that he uses energy weapons and has an hypnotic gas, in addition to the addictive gases already present in the atmosphere."

He pressed a button and what appeared to be a transparent space suit popped out on the end of an extending arm. He pointed out its attributes.

"It is made of transparent seringera. A substance that is almost indestructible, unpierceable, a barrier to force fields and impervious to gases. Under the outer surface there is a nanomolecular structure that responds in a microsecond to a sudden impact such as a bullet. These molecqies lock together and become stronger than the strongest steel, stopping the projectile before it has penetrated less than a millimeter. This small power pack on the back, here, recycles and reconstitutes the gases and water in your breath so the suit may be sealed and worn for up to one hundred hours. It also powers a built—in gravchute that can be used for levitating if needs be. I will demonstrate."

He tore off his shoes, stripped off shirt and sarong, to reveal the fact that he wore purple undershorts with little mauve robots embroidered on them, trimmed with gold. He seized the transparent suit and wriggled into it, pulled the bubble helmet down to seal it. His voice rasped from the external speaker.

"There is no blade sharp enough to cut it." He opened a box of equipment and seized up a knife, plunged it into his chest. It bounced off. As did the other weapons he attacked himself with. Powering up the gravchute, he bounced off the ceiling, still firing his deadly devices. Soon the air was filled with noxious gases, whizzing missiles that threatened the rest of us, if not him. Coughing and gasping, we fled the chamber and did not return until the demonstration was over and the aircon turned up high.

"Wonderful, Professor," I said dabbing my eyes with the corner of my handkerchief. "We pull on your fancy suits and go to Heaven. When I say we I of course mean me and my family, along with Berkk and Sybil. The professor monitors our movements and our leader, Inskipp, stands ready to send any reinforcements that we might need. Any questions?"

"Sounds just insane enough to succeed," Angelina said. "How soon do we get our playsuits, Professor?"

"They'll be ready by morning."

"Fine." She smiled at us all. "We can have a little party tonight to celebrate our coming victory, the rout of Slakey, and the reunification of Berkk with himself. All right?"

A chorus of agreement was her answer. The robar hurried over to open the cocktail hour, and even Inskipp condescended this once to sipping a small dry sherry.

"I am very interested in this uimildecnovum," he said licking a trace of wine from his lips. "This madman has organized numerous religions to raise money to imprison slaves to mine coal to convert it to unnildecnovurn—why? It must have some very unusual properties or why should he go to all this effort? I am very curious about what can be done with it. Or what it does to other things, or whatever. And I am going to find out. Go forth, Jim, and succeed. And bring me back a sample and an explanation."

"Good as done," I said and raised my glass.

We all drank to that.

We all wore swimming outfits under the transparent suits. Angelina and Sybil looked quite fetching. I quickly averted my eyes from one, blew a kiss to the other.

"Equipment check," I said, drawing my gun and holding it up. "One paralysis pistol, fully charged. A container of sleepgas grenades, another of smoke. Combat knife with silver toothpick. Manacles for securing prisoners, truth drug injector for making them talk."

"Plus a diamond—blade power saw for cutting up a certain robot," Angelina said, holding up the lethal looking object.

"All in order, all accounted for. Just one thing more." I picked up a backpack that had a medical red cross on a white background printed on it. "For emergencies. Are you on the circuit, all—powerful Inskipp?"

"I am," his voice rattled in my ear. "I have countless deadly standbys standing by in case you need help."