Greg Cox: A Touch of Fever

PRINCESS NEFERTITI, Healer Extraordinaire!! Unlike the other performers, there was no portrait of Nefertiti outside the tent. To create an aura of mystery about her? Or was her name alone enough to draw an audience? It seemed to be working. A long line was snaking into the tent, egged on by the barker, who called out to the crowd from his podium. Greasy muttonchops blended with his five o’clock shadow. He had the ruddy, veined nose of a hard drinker. There but for the grace of AA, Pete thought. “Step right up, ladies and gentlemen!

Don’t miss your chance to see six of the most amazing acts ever assembled beneath a single tent! All for the price of a single ticket!

You can’t see anything like this on TV, folks. It’s all real… including the incomparable Princess Nefertiti, whose miraculous gifts are truly a blessing in these troubled times.” He lowered his voice before adding the obligatory disclaimer. “Presented purely for entertainment purposes, of course.” “Of course,” Myka echoed, a skeptical expression on her face. She scanned the line before them.

“Say, Pete, is it just me, or does this crowd look better suited to a hospital than a sideshow?” Looking more closely, he saw what she meant. Many of the ticket buyers appeared to be suffering from some sort of ailment or infirmity. An older gentleman in a wheelchair sucked on bottled oxygen. A teenage jock wearing a maroon football jersey hobbled forward on crutches. Concerned friends and relatives assisted sick people who seemed too weak to make it on their own.

Skullcaps and obvious wigs hinted at the ravages of chemotherapy.

Drawn, anxious faces contrasted sharply with the carefree crowds patronizing the rest of the carnival. Unlike the folks riding the carousel, these people didn’t appear to be out for a good time. “It’s not just you,” he confirmed. “Looks like Princess Nefertiti’s reputation precedes her.” “I spotted a lot of out-of-state license plates in the parking lot, too,” Myka noted, observant as ever. “You think these people came all this way just to check out a sideshow healer?” “Why not? We did.” An elderly woman, dressed rather too warmly for the temperature, approached the barker. “Is it true?” she asked urgently. A telltale tremor in her limbs suggested that she was afflicted with Parkinson’s. “Can Princess Nefertiti really heal the sick? Even when doctors can’t?” “See for yourself, madam.” The barker steered her toward the growing line. “Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.” Pete found himself hoping that the healer was the real deal, if only for the sake of all these ill and disabled people. It would be a crime to raise their hopes like this and not deliver. If this was just a scam, he might need to have words with these carnies.

“For entertainment purposes only, my ass.” Making their way to the front of the line, he bought tickets for both him and Myka. Pete asked for a receipt, so he could expense it later, but the sallow-faced carnie manning the entrance just snorted in derision. “Seriously, dude. A receipt? At a sideshow?” “Never mind.” Sorry, Artie, he thought. I tried. They stepped past a drawn canvas flap into the stuffy interior of the tent. Bleachers, erected on both sides of a central walkway, faced a low wooden stage. Curtains at the rear of the stage provided a backdrop for the performers. A single white bulb, hanging overhead, was supplemented by lambent footlights. Canned music played from a pair of loudspeakers. Sawdust carpeted the floor. “Don’t say I never take you anywhere classy,” Pete joked. “Tell me about it,” she replied. “From the looks of things, people are practically dying to get in here.” The bleachers were packed, and a veritable obstacle course of wheelchairs and walkers was parked in front of the stage, but the two agents managed to find a couple of seats in the back row.

The show, which appeared to be on a continuous loop, was already in progress. A young knife thrower, identified by a wooden sandwich board as the Dazzling Dmitri, demonstrated his eagle eye by hurling shining silver blades at a spinning star-shaped target while the William Tell Overture played tinnily in the background. A wiry youth with wavy blond hair, he wore a spangled gold tunic and tight blue trousers. A crimson sash girded his slender waist. The crowd clapped politely as, one by one, he planted a knife at each tip of the star, plus one more in the bull’s-eye. “Not bad,” Pete commented. “Reminds me of a would-be assassin I tackled in Portland once. Of course, her target was breathing.” “The audience doesn’t seem all that impressed,” Myka observed. “Or interested.” She was right again. All around them, audience members squirmed with varying degrees of impatience, as they waited for the star attraction. “Enough with this bullshit!” a grumpy-looking dude in the front row exclaimed. His florid complexion made Pete wonder just how high the man’s blood pressure was. “We want Nefertiti!” Others in the bleachers took up the chant. “Nefertiti!

Nefertiti! Nefertiti!” They stomped their feet in rhythm with the chant, shaking the bleachers. Pete’s seat vibrated beneath his butt.

He hoped the bleachers were solidly constructed. “Uh-oh,” Myka said.

“Looks like the natives are getting restless.” Pete whistled. “Talk about a tough crowd. You’ve got to be pretty nervy to heckle a knife thrower.” “Or desperate.” In any event, the Dazzling Dmitri got the message. He hastily wrapped up his act, took a bow, and retreated from the stage. A stagehand dragged the knife-studded target away. A moment later Dmitri reemerged from behind the curtain. A chorus of boos started up, but the young performer raised his voice to be heard over the protests. “And now, ladies and gentlemen, what you’ve been waiting for.” He gestured dramatically at the curtain behind him, which rustled provocatively. “Without further ado… Princess Nefertiti!”

A hush fell over the crowd. They leaned forward expectantly. Pete caught himself doing the same. Forget the Sword Swallower and the Alligator Boy. This was what they were all really here for. The music switched tracks. An ethereal, faintly Middle Eastern air emanated from the speakers. Incense wafted from the wings. The footlights dimmed, the curtains parted, and a petite figure stepped onto the stage. Her hooded white robe was belted at the waist by a delicate silver chain.

The shimmering fabric seemed to glow in the footlights. Her head was bowed, hiding her face. Gloved hands were tented before her as though in prayer. Wide sleeves drooped beneath them. Her sandaled feet strode gracefully across the stage. A gleaming silver ankh hung conspicuously from a chain around her neck. Pete’s eyes zeroed in on the ankh. “What do you think?” he whispered to Myka. “A souvenir from King Tut’s tomb?

Or Cleopatra’s favorite bit of bling?” “Maybe not Cleopatra. Her pet asp is already preserved in a jar on Level 12, Aisle 343, of the Warehouse.” She playfully punched him in the shoulder. “You really need to familiarize yourself with the inventory more.” Pete had heard it before. “So you keep telling me. But give me a break. I could study night and day for a year and still not make a dent in the inventory.

We’re talking over two thousand years of wacky knickknacks, you know.”

A mental image of the Warehouse’s endless aisles and shelves flashed across his mind. “Besides, there’s no rule that a person can’t produce more than one artifact. Cleo probably had enough mojo to power a whole wardrobe of artifacts. I mean, look at how many movies she’s inspired.” “I suppose,” Myka conceded as Princess Nefertiti’s show got under way. After a dramatic pause, the supposed healer raised her head. Her gloved hands reached up and drew back the hood, revealing the bronzed face of an attractive young woman who looked barely out of her teens. Kohl shadowed a pair of striking green eyes. Her black hair was cut short, Theda Bara style. A ruby was glued to the center of her forehead like a third eye. A serene expression conveyed a seriousness and wisdom far beyond her years. “Welcome, brothers and sisters,” she intoned in a posh English accent. “Blessings upon you all, and on the celestial providence that brings us all together this fine evening.