Лео Франковски - Lord Conrad's Crusade

“But your grace,” the papal ambassador protested.

“And you will shut your mouth! You will leave tomorrow, as soon as my letter to the pope is delivered to you. And be assured that when you get to Rome, my letter to the pope complaining about your behavior will have gotten there days before you do, because I will send it by regular mail!”

On my way out, I left a message to my secretaries saying that my letter had to be ready by breakfast. They could take all night, if needed.

Francine and Celicia got to my bedroom a few minutes after I did.

The floors were a black and white checkerboard of fine marble. The walls were of red velvet interspersed with panels of fine, carved, and polished hardwood. The ceiling was again coffered, but here each square section contained the carved portrait of a good, old friend. I was not in a mood to appreciate it.

“That was quite a scene you made at dinner,” Francine said.

“They annoyed me.”

“One doesn’t tell a papal ambassador to shut his mouth,” she persisted.

“Well, this one does, and did. The guy was way out of line.”

“Master, something is very wrong with you.” Celicia always called me that, and insisted that she was my slave. Ridiculous, of course. “What is it that makes you so unhappy?”

“Unhappy? Yes, I suppose that I am unhappy. Somehow, I feel smothered around here. Boxed in by too much tender, loving care. Kolomel Wladyclaw said that all of his men were feeling bored and going stale. That’s probably what has happened to me.”

“Master, you are a warrior who has gone too long without an adventure. You need a quest.”

“Well, I need a vacation, I’ll go that far.”

Francine said, “As you will, Conrad. Where do you want to go and when should we leave?”

“Not ‘we,’ my loves. I need to go alone. I love you both, but don’t you see? Your smothering concern for me is part of my problem. I need some time by myself. If you two need to go somewhere, why don’t you take a vacation, too? You have relatives in France that you haven’t seen for many years, Francine. Why don’t you take a month or two off and go visit them?”

“No one in France would want to see me.”

“They would if you were escorted by a company of Wolves, with three carloads of servants, and a sufficient amount of gold.”

“That might be fun, but I would not want to go without you.”

“Well, your choices are to either go somewhere without me, or to stay here without me. I’m going to board one of my ships and see some more of the world. Alone.”

They were unhappy, but I was persistent. They left together. I went to bed alone, knowing that I hadn’t heard the last of this one

The Open Road

In the morning, I had breakfast in the cafeteria, read, signed, and sealed my letter to the pope, and had a lance of fully armored warriors deliver it to the papal ambassador along with the message that he was now persona non grata in the territories of the Christian Army, except that he could use our railroads, which he had already paid for, to return to Rome, a one-way trip. The lance was instructed to speed him on his way.

Then I wrote a letter of complaint to the pope about the way his ambassador had tried to undercut my authority. I had that one done on parchment as well. Later in the day, I had it sent by regular mail. My bleary-eyed secretary saw to it.

Good calligraphy on parchment takes a lot of time. “That was a good job that you just did. Thank you for all of the extra work. But for now, take the rest of the day off, and get some sleep. Thinking about it, take the next few months off, if you want, with pay. I’ll see you when I get back.”

Then I called Sir Piotr Kulczynski in. He had once been my squire, and he was probably the most intelligent person in the army. I told him that I was going on vacation, and that he would be in charge until I got back.

“Very well, sir. I know pretty much what needs doing. But tell me, where are you going?”

“To start with, wherever the first ship takes me. I’ll develop a plan later. Mostly, I want to see more of the world.”

“Yes, sir, and when will you be returning?”

“I’ll return when I’m ready to return. I need a rest, and I’ll be back when I’m feeling better. But one thing that I don’t want to happen is to have all of you people out hunting for me. Understood?”

“I understand it, but I don’t like it. What if you are gone for years? What if you never come back?”

“Then the world will just have to learn to get along without me.”

“I’m not sure that the world can do that, sir.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ve started you guys down the right path. From this point on, you could get along quite well without me. Nobody is irreplaceable. Now, go and collect up all of our senior people who happen to be in Okoitz. I want to announce this to the group, and to leave today.”

“Today, sir? Isn’t that rushing things?”

“Yes, it is. But the longer I wait, the longer people will have to try to pester me out of going.”

And pester me, they did. The moment I walked into the meeting room, with its great round table, and statues of Poland’s ancient kings looking down on us, Sir Wladyclaw said, “I understand that you are going on vacation, your grace. Shall I call up a company of Wolves to escort you?”

“You shall not. I’m going alone.”

“But, but that’s improper, sir! In this world, not even the lowliest noble travels without a group of armed companions.”

“The hell I will! I’m being protected to death. I said ‘alone’ and I meant alone. Now, what part of that didn’t you understand?” Soon, everybody in the room was getting their penny’s worth in, most especially my wives. Who would take care of me? I said that I had been taking care of myself for many years before I’d come here, and had done a good job of it. I was the best swordsman in the army, a good shot with my new revolver, and I was a fair cook. What else did a man need?

Problem is, I knew I was wrong. I was acting like a petulant child, dodging my responsibilities, refusing to plan for my own safety, and running on emotion rather than brains. So I did what all men do in that situation. For fully an hour where all of them got more and more adamant, I got more and more angry. I finally compromised to the point of taking along my Big Person, Silver. Also, I’d be taking Cynthia, one of my bodyguards. When I said that, Francine’s sudden glare of jealously surprised me.

Far stronger than any man, Cynthia had incredibly fast reflexes and the training to use them. She didn’t look deadly, but that was another of her advantages.

That, and Francine was right, you never knew when you might need a little sex.

“That’s it, gang. I’m going to pack, and I’ll be out of here in an hour.”

I packed light, one summer weight uniform and two thin civilian outfits. I packed one silk dress for Cynthia, which she didn’t want, preferring like all of her kind to go nude. But once we left Poland, well, the rules out there were different.

I took my sword and my revolver, along with a box of spare ammo, the new smokeless type. Some of my old camping equipment, including my two jack knives. A shaving kit. A lightweight, oiled cloak, in case of rain. It all went into my saddlebags along with some bread, sausage, and cheese.

And I took one heavy bag of gold and silver coins. The ‘silver’ was actually zinc, but since only my smelters could produce it we got away with calling it a precious metal and using it for coinage. Especially since we were always willing to trade it at face value for gold.

It was enough. When I needed something else, I could buy it.

They had Silver ready when we got down to the first floor. All the Big People were a reddish color, except for my mount, who was pure white. I’d found her after the Battle of Sandomierz. She was a true Big Person, but she understood English, modern English, and not Polish. This left no one but me to adopt her. Francine had adopted my first mount, Anna. She was wearing one of the double saddles I’d had made up years ago. This let Cynthia sit sidesaddle in front of me.