James Gardner: Three Hearings on the Existence of Snakes in the Human Bloodstream

“You are still talking about pigeons, Mr. Darwin.”

“No, ma’am,” he said triumphantly, “I am talking about Papists and the Redeemed. Let us suppose that in the times of Patriarch Septus, some people had almost imperceptible serpentine analogues in their bloodstream—a chance occurrence, just as some people may have curls in their hair while others do not.”

Anne opened her mouth to say that curls were frequently not a chance occurrence at all; but she decided to remain silent.

“Now,” Darwin continued, “what happened among the people of that day? Some saw those tiny, almost invisible snakes; others did not. Those, who saw them proclaimed, This proves the unshakable word of Mother Church. Those who saw nothing said, The scriptures cannot be taken literally—believers must find the truth in their own hearts. And so the Schism split the world, pitting one camp against another.”

“Yes, Mr. Darwin, We know all that.”

“So, ma’am, you must also know what happened in subsequent generations. The rift in belief created a similar rift in the population. Papists only married Papists. The Redeemed only married the Redeemed.”

“Of course.”

“Consequently”—Darwin stressed the word—“those who could see so-called snakes in their blood only married those of similar condition. Those who saw nothing married others who saw nothing. Is it any wonder that, generation by generation, snakes became more and more visible in Papist blood? And less and less likely to be seen in the Redeemed? It is simply a matter of selective breeding, ma’am. The Papists are not different from us because the Virgin put her mark on them; they are different because they selected to make themselves different. To emphasize the difference. And the Redeemed have no snakes in their blood for the same reason—simply a side effect of our ancestors’ marital prejudice.”

“Mr. Darwin!” Anne said, aghast. “Such claims! No wonder you have angered the Papists as much as your own countrymen. To suggest God’s sacred sign is a mere barnyard accident…” The Queen caught her breath. “Sir, where is your decency?”

“I have something better than decency,” he answered in a calm voice. “I have proof.”

“Proof? How could you prove such a thing?”

“Some years ago, ma’am,” he said, “I took passage on a ship sailing the South Seas; and during that voyage, I saw things that completely opened my eyes.”

“More pigeons, Mr. Darwin?”

He waved his hand dismissively. “The birds of the Pacific Islands are hardly fit study for a scientist. What I observed were the efforts of missionaries, ma’am; both Papists and the Redeemed, preaching to the natives who lived in those isles. Have you heard of such missions?”

“We sponsor several of those missions personally, Mr. Darwin.”

“And the results, ma’am?”

“Mixed,” Anne confessed. “Some tribes are open to Redemption, while others…” She shrugged. “The Papists do no better.”

“Just so, Your Majesty. As an example, I visited one island where the Papists had been established for thirty years, yet the local priest claimed to have made no true converts. Mark that word, true. Many of the natives espoused Papist beliefs, took part in Papist worship, and so on… but the priest could find no snakes in their blood, so he told himself they had not truly embraced Mother Church.”

“You would argue with the priest’s conclusion?”

“Certainly,” Darwin replied. “In my eyes, the island tribe was simply a closed population which for reasons of chance never developed serpentine analogues in their blood. If you interbreed only white pigeons, you will never develop a black.”

Anne said, “But—” then stopped stone-still as the words of a recent mission report rose in her mind. We are continually frustrated in our work on this island; although the people bow before God’s altar, their blood continues to show the serpent-stain of the Unclean…

“Mr. Darwin,” Anne murmured, “could there possibly be islands where all the people had snakes in their blood, regardless of their beliefs?”

“There are indeed, ma’am,” Darwin nodded. “Almost all the island populations are isolated and homogeneous. I found some tribes with snakes, some without—no matter which missionaries ministered there. When the Papists land among a people who already have analogues in their bloodstream, they soon declare they have converted the tribe and hold great celebrations. However, when they land among a people whose blood is clear… well, they can preach all they want, but they won’t change the effects of generations of breeding. Usually, they just give up and move on to another island where the people are more receptive… which is to say, where they have the right blood to begin with.”

“Ah.”

Anne lowered her eyes. Darwin had been speaking about the Papists, but she knew the same was true of Redeemed missionaries. They tended to stay a year in one place, do a few blood tests, then move on if they could not show results—because results were exclusively measured in blood rather than in what the people professed. If missionaries, her own missionaries, had been abandoning sincere believers because they didn’t believe the conversions were “true”… what would God think of that?

But Darwin hadn’t stopped talking. “Our voyage visited many islands, Your Majesty, a few of which had never received missionaries of any kind. Some of those tribes had serpentine analogues in their blood, while some did not… and each island was homogeneous. I hypothesize the potential for analogues might have been distributed evenly through humankind millennia ago; but as populations grew isolated, geographically or socially—”

“Yes, Mr. Darwin, We see your point.” Anne found she was tapping her finger on the edge of the table. She stopped herself and stood up. “This matter deserves further study. We shall instruct the police to find a place where you can continue your work without disturbance from outside sources.”

Darwin’s face fell. “Would that be a jail, ma’am?”

“A comfortable place of sanctuary,” she replied. “You will be supplied with anything you need—books, paper, all of that.”

“Will I be able to publish?” he asked.

“You will have at least one avid reader for whatever you write.” She favored him with the slightest bow of her head. “You have given us much to think about.”

“Then let me give you one more thought, Your Majesty.” He took a deep breath, as if he was trying to decide if his next words would be offensive beyond the pale. Then, Anne supposed, he decided he had nothing to lose. “Papists and the Redeemed have been selectively breeding within their own populations for hundreds of years. There may come a time when they are too far removed from each other to be… cross-fertile. Already there are rumors of an unusually high mortality rate for children with one Papist parent and one Redeemed. In time—millennia perhaps, but in time—if we continue with segregated breeding, I believe the two populations may split into separate species.”

“Separate species? Of humans?”

“It may happen, Your Majesty. At this very moment, we may be witnessing the origin of two new species.”

Queen Anne pursed her lips in distaste. “The origin of species, Mr. Darwin? If that is a joke, We are not amused.”