Sandra Newman: The Country of Ice Cream Star

“Foo, Razin ain’t believing this.”

“ He ain’t believe. But someone can believe.”

“Shee, who?”

“Heed. If Europeans give you nuclears, been crime. Be grandy crime. Razin want you to accuse this crime. To Europeans, Russians, every people.” He look to me for comprehending, hopeless in his eyes. “Will be in Europe. Where you go.”

“Foo, Europe.” I take unbelieving breath. “Razin take me to some Europe, to only tell this lie?”

Pasha’s face go worse. “And you must tell about the war. Tell, how Russians want.”

“War? Yo, how they want it told?”

His misery work in complications, thinking in his face. “What Russians say about this war… be like the radio speech. You can remember?”

“They helping us with pharmacies.” My voice catch sour. “For nothing. Cause they caring so.”

“Ya. What you must say. The Russians help, do nothing mally.”

“And they slave our children,” I say hard. “This be for help?”

“Nay, ain’t slave. It be no slaves. Your people fight for roos because they want. For justice.”

“Justice.” I laugh bitter. “And any fool believing this?”

“People there, how they will know? They never seen no Quantico. They never seeing war. Most they believe on war, is lies.” Then he look wishful to my eyes. And it realize, he wanting me to answer yes. Want this vicious, but he never dare to ask direct.

I nod dumb. “Guess Razin sent us here so you convince me?”

“Nay.”

“How, nay?” I scoff my breath. “Is what you doing. All you doing.”

“Nay. He known, you ain’t agree.”

“So what this be? All be no point.”

Pasha shake his head. Go fish another cigarette. Light with hasty hand, breathe out a dirty veil of smoke.

Then he look to me precaire. Be concentrating wary, like he narrow on a deer with gun. And he say soft, “I going to tell you truth. You can believe?”

“Ain’t know. I going to heed.”

“Razin think you love myself. Love me… like a male.”

Here we both flinch in conscience. I want to look away, but I be shy to move somehow. Think pointless of Toporov Vampire, and my heart beat queery, like it want to be some other place.

At last I say, “And so?”

“What he think, he give us room apart. On boat.”

“Ho, he want to breed us?” I laugh choken. “What this do?”

“Be so I giving love. I show like I protecting you and… this. Be nine days across the ocean. You be alone, except myself. When it finish, he think you obey.”

I take a careful breath. “But you ain’t do this… love?”

“Nay,” say Pasha hard. “I love you honest. Ain’t for this.”

I knit my hands together. Feel like tears, my breath come scarce and rough. Magine this room on endless ocean. How Pasha trying love, I be alone from every person known. And Razin wait somehow, the soldats always loud outside.

I say thin, “I believe.”

Pasha let out a ragged breath. Look down to his cigarette, his big respect be helpless. “I ain’t do Razin’s games. But I be asking, so you live. If you ain’t agree… on boat, this death be mally, Ice. You there with all soldats. How they do. And then be drowning.”

“Can shoot me now.”

Pasha flinch to me. Stare a pause of fright, reach toward my hand. But then he mind himself, pull back.

“Nay, I ain’t saying right.” His voice come high like choking tears. “What be important, if you work for roos, your children safe.”

My heart bite cold. “Children? Sengles in Marias?”

“Ya, roos go there now. But if you work for roos, they keep your Sengles safe. They all be safe.”

Now need wake in me. Rise mally, like a puking sickness. Start thinking, it be only lies. Be for some Europeans-Russians, strangers to my mind. Ya, they believing garbage like, be their stupidities to thank.

Through this, my need distract to Mamadou. Wonder if I can beg his life somehow, in extra trade. Crave to ask if Pasha know, if Mamadou be dead or prisoners. But already can feel the grief that waiting on this answer.

I say in first attempt, “Be any way they keep Crow safe? Take him from prisoners?”

Pasha’s face catch into fear. “Nay, Ice. They—”

“Sure, see this.” I take a choken breath. “But Crow be living? You ain’t know?”

“Ya, I seen. He there in prisoners.” Pasha make a forcen smile. “Got injury, but this be small.”

A noise of rooish laughter rise outside. Gunfire louden there, and Pasha startle. Look to the window angry. Then he look back to me and smile again, his face a dirty fear.

I say, “And prisoners here, they go to Europe also?”

This catch him in some conscience. “Go… they go to Africa. Wars there.”

I nod stupid. Look back to the window. City purpling still, and lower stars be hazy dull. Can see the Washington Monument, look smallish wavery in the smoke, but still be white the same.

“What it be, you guess?” I say. “Number of children that you took? Some hundreds?”

When I look back to Pasha, he stare to the window self. Fist his blooden hands. “What Razin think, it be five thousand.”

I make a throaten noise, is almost sobbing. “Nay, cannot — how they get this? Ain’t been no five thousand caught.”

Pasha raise his cigarette and find it dead. Grimace painful and throw it down. Go fishing in his pocket.

Then I comprehend. Ease back to the chillen sofa, shivering in my coat. “Tunnels, I guess. They catch them there?”

Pasha nod. “Where most our people being now. At tunnels, or… catch Marianos.”

“So how they do this?” I say thin. “Quanticos never surrender so. Must kill them all. Ain’t take them living.”

Pasha scratch up a match and grimace in its light. Suck his cigarette and say in empty voice, “Use bombs, is gas. Make children sleep.” He toss the match like ridding this notion by.

“Sure,” I say cold. “Tunnels bone for this. Was gift.”

“Ya. Was what roos hope.”

“What you hope. You hope.”

He look to me with his blank face, but now can know it be no lies. Is shame. Face whitish like a bone.

I say, “Can notice, you ain’t warn the Quanticos this. You ain’t.”

He ain’t speak, he only shake his head. Hand clutch his cigarette.

“Truth, yours been genius work. Yo, I work bone for you. I working any weeks to kill my children.”

“Nay,” he say thick. “Ain’t like this.”

“Yes, like this! But it be done. Ain’t speaking for your cockroach Russians, while every children took to die. Africa — you told me what this be. I goddamn know! Heed, you get reward for this? They pay you something?”

“Nay,” he say in nosy voice. “Ain’t pay.”

“Is rank you get? What they do?”

He look to me awful then. “Ice, ain’t you need to die for this.”

“How I can live? I speak for roos while… nay.”

“Ice.” He hitch his breath. “Who we catch now, ain’t like Sengles. These been soldiers.”

“Nay, they been Mamadou!” My voice choke bitter, and I start to cry. “They been my goddamn people. Ya, First Runner dead. She ten, ain’t be no goddamn soldier!”

“They kilt without this, Ice. It—”

“Nay, they ain’t! They ain’t! Must be some chance that someone live!”

His eyes grow their own tears, his face gone soft in littlish misery. “ You can live. I trying to save yourself. You fight me why?”

“Ain’t want to goddamn live!” I sob out hard. “I finish living!”

Then he reach sudden toward me, pull me hard into his arms. Yo, I lose in weakness. Hold against him, weeping breathless. He muttering teary, “Never want you in this. Ain’t even want you by me. Any child I know, they ending mally. Nay, why you come here? You been safe.”