Fredric Brown - The Best of Fredric Brown

But by that time I was past her and inside the tent, and it was a tent, all four sides of one, and a good big one at that. And it was lined with the old familiar coin machines. There, counting coins in the change booth, was Sam Heideman, looking up with almost as much surprise on his face as there must have been on mine.

He said, "Pop Wherry! I 'll be a dirty name. "Only he didn 't say "dirty name "—but he didn 't get around to apologizing to Ma and Ellen for that until he and I had pounded each other's backs and he had shaken hands around and been introduced to Johnny Lane.

It was just like old times on the carny lots of Mars and Venus. He was telling Ellen how she 'd been "so high "when he 'd seen her last and did she really remember him?

And then Ma sniffed.

When Ma sniffs like that, there 's something to look at, and I got my eyes off dear old Sam and looked at Ma and then at where Ma was looking. I didn't sniff, but I gasped.

A woman was coming forward from the back of the tent, and when I call her a woman it 's because I can 't think of the right word if there is one. She was St. Cecilia and Guinevere and a Petty girl all ironed into one. She was like a sunset in New Mexico and the cold silver moons of Mars seen from the Equatorial Gardens. She was like a Venusian valley in the spring and like Dorzalski playing the violin. She was really something.

I heard another gasp from alongside me, and it was unfamiliar. Took me a second to realize why it was unfamiliar; I'd never heard Johnny Lane gasp before. It was an effort, but I shifted my eyes for a look at his face. And I thought, "Oh—oh. Poor Ellen. "For the poor boy was gone, no question about it.

And just in time—maybe seeing Johnny helped me—I man-aged to remember that I 'm pushing fifty and happily married. I took hold of Ma's arm and hung on. "Sam," I said, "what on Earth—I mean on whatever planet this is— "

Sam turned around and looked behind him. He said, "Miss Ambers, I'd like you to meet some old friends of mine who just dropped in. Mrs. Wherry, this is Miss Ambers, the movie star. "Then he finished the introductions, first Ellen, then me, and then Johnny. Ma and Ellen were much too polite. Me, I maybe went the other way by pretending not to notice the hand Miss Ambers held out. Old as I am, I had a hunch I might forget to let go if I took it. That's the kind of girl she was.

Johnny did forget to let go.

Sam was saying to me, "Pop, you old pirate, what are you doing here? I thought you stuck to the colonies, and I sure didn 't look for you to drop in on a movie set. "

"A movie set? "Things were beginning to make sense, almost.

"Sure. Planetary Cinema, Inc. With me as the technical advisor on carny scenes. They wanted inside shots of a coin arcade, so I just brought my old stuff out of storage and set it up here. All the boys are over at the base camp now. "

Light was just beginning to dawn on me. "And that restaurant front up the street? That's a set?" I queried.

"Sure, and the street itself. They didn 't need it, but they had to film the making of it for one sequence. "

"Oh." I went on, "But how about the ostrich with the bow tie and the birds with the propellers? They couldn 't have been movie props. Or could they? "I 'd heard that Planetary Cinema did some pretty impossible things.

Sam shook his head a bit blankly. "Nope. You must have come across some of the local fauna. There are a few but not many, and they don 't get in the way. "

Ma said, "Look here, Sam Heideman, how come if this planet has been discovered we hadn 't heard about it? How long has it been known, and what 's it all about? "

Sam chuckled. "A man named Wilkins discovered this planet ten years ago. Reported it to the Council, but before it got publicized Planetary Cinema got wind of it and offered the Council a whopping rental for the place on the condition that it be kept secret. As there aren 't any minerals or anything of value here and the soil ain 't worth a nickel, the Council rented it to them on those terms. "

"But why secret? "

"No visitors, no distractions, not to mention a big jump on their competitors. All the big movie companies spy on one another and swipe one another 's ideas. Here they got all the space they want and can work in peace and privacy. "

"What 'll they do about our finding the place? "I asked. Sam chuckled again. "Guess they'll entertain you royally now that you 're here and try to persuade you to keep it under your hat. You 'll probably get a free pass for life to all Planetary Cinema theaters too."

He went over to a cabinet and came back with a tray of bottles and glasses. Ma and Ellen declined, but Sam and I had a couple apiece and it was good stuff. Johnny and Miss Ambers were over in a corner of the tent whispering together earnestly, so we didn 't bother them, especially after I told Sam that Johnny didn't drink.

Johnny still had hold of her hand and was gazing into her eyes like a sick pup. I noticed that Ellen moved around so she was facing the other way and didn't have to watch. I was sorry for her, but there wasn 't anything I could do. Something like that happens if it happens. And if it hadn 't been for Ma—

But I saw that Ma was getting edgy and I said we 'd better get back to the ship and get dressed up if we were due to be entertained royally. Then we could move the ship in closer. I reckoned we could spare a few days on Nothing Sirius. I left Sam in stitches by telling him how we'd named the planet after a look at the local fauna.

Then I gently pried Johnny loose from the movie star and led him outside. It wasn 't easy. There was a blank, blissful expression on his face, and he'd even forgotten to salute me when I 'd spoken to him. Hadn 't called me "sir "either. In fact, he didn 't say anything at all.

Neither did any of the rest of us, walking up the street.

There was something knocking at my mind and I couldn 't quite figure out what it was. There was something wrong, something that didn't make sense.

Ma was worried too. Finally I heard her say, "Pop, if they really want to keep this place a secret, wouldn 't they maybe—uh— "

"No, they wouldn 't, "I answered, maybe a bit snappishly. That wasn 't what I was worried about, though.

I looked down at that new and perfect road, and there was something about it I didn 't like. I diagonaled over to the curb and walked along that, looked down at the greenish clay beyond, but there wasn 't anything to see except more holes and more bugs like I'd seen back at the Bon-Ton Restaurant.

Maybe they weren't cockroaches, though, unless the movie company had brought them. But they were near enough like cockroaches for all practical purposes—if a cockroach has a practical purpose, that is. And they still didn 't have bow ties or propellers or feathers. They were just plain cockroaches.

I stepped off the paving and tried to step on one or two of them, but they got away and popped into holes. They were plenty fast and shifty on their feet.

I got back on the road and walked with Ma. When she asked, 'What were you doing?" I answered, "Nothing. "

Ellen was walking on the other side of Ma and keeping her face a studious blank. I could guess what she was thinking and I wished there was something could be done about it. The only thing I could think of was to decide to stay on Earth awhile at the end of this trip, and give her a chance to get over Johnny by meeting a lot of other young sprigs. Maybe even finding one she liked.

Johnny was walking along in a daze. He was gone all right, and he'd fallen with awful suddenness, like guys like that always do. Maybe it wasn 't love, just infatuation, but right now he didn 't know what planet he was on.

We were over the first rise now, out of sight of Sam's tent. "Pop, did you see any movie cameras around?" Ma asked suddenly.