Robert Sheckley - Conversation On Mars

"How do you suppose the present state of affairs came about?" Piotr asked.

"Physics has shown that something is always born of nothing. Not just some of the time, but always and exclusively. And what else could something be born from if not nothing?

"So nothing is real?"

"On the contrary," Ivan said, suddenly joining the conversation, "everything is real. But we are not equipped to react to it, because reality has entered the sphere of the banal, which by definition is not worthy of consideration. But now we are bound by some categorical imperative to examine even the previously unnoticed banal."

"Bravo," Ivan," Piotr said. "It took a lot of courage to say that. About the man with a parrot for an arm--did you notice he is smoking a cigarette with his parrot?"

"How very Russian of him!"

The captain now said, in a loud and annoyed voice, "You men!"

"Yes, sir!" Piotr and Ivan replied almost simultaneously.

"Enough playing around. Have you received your assignment papers yet?"

"No, sir," Ivan said.

The captain took two papers out of his pocket and handed one to each man.

"Take these outside with you. Show them to the sergeant. He will assign you to a place in the Defense Corps. Do not concern yourselves with questions of real and unreal. Just follow orders."

"Yes sir," Piotr said. "Can you tell me what we are defending against?"

"Don't ask. There will be a lecture on it as soon as you have been assigned quarters and fed."

The men nodded and moved out into the greenish-gray land of Mars.