Эд Макбейн: Robert

The salesman was a most presentable young man, with a grey tweed suit, and a neat brown mustache. Eddie listened to what he said, and he glanced occasionally at Mary to see if she shared interest.

“You’ve got to understand,” the salesman was saying, “that you aren’t the first childless couple to make use of our service. As a matter of fact, I could name people in your own neighborhood who have done just what you’re about to do and are—”

“We didn’t say we were going to do it,” Eddie reminded him.

“Of course, Mr. Stevens, I understand that. I think, however, and you’ll forgive my frankness, you would be foolish not to do it.”

Mary nodded in agreement, her brows puckered together. “You said we could choose the color of hair and eyes, is that right?”

“Exactly,” the salesman smiled ingratiatingly. “A nice combination, considering your own coloring, would be blond hair and brown eyes. That’s entirely up to you, of course.”

“And the complexion?” Eddie asked.

“We will match your own complexion, or give you whatever skin pigmentation you prefer. You’ve got to remember that we’re only trying to please you. This is one of the advantages over the... uh ... normal procedure. You get a choice here.”

“It does sound good,” Mary said.

“I don’t know,” Eddie said dubiously.

“It really does grow?” Mary asked the salesman. “Just like a real one?”

“That’s an exclusive feature with our firm, Mrs. Stevens. That’s one of the reasons our model is so popular. We give it to you in a state of development comparable to the first week of life. It grows automatically, the metal treated to expand so many inches over so many years. Of course, the plastic is pliable and it stretches to accommodate the metal. The facial features change too, over the years.”

“And this is all included in the initial purchase price?” Eddie asked.

“Precisely.”

“How... how tall does it get?” Mary asked.

“That again is up to you: Most people choose six feet or so for a boy, and about five-six for a girl.”

“We’d want a boy;” Eddie said quickly.

“Yes,” Mary agreed.

The salesman chuckled a little and said, “Well, there’s no guess work involved here. You can have a boy this time, and a girl next time, if you like.”

“We want a boy,” Eddie said.

“Then a boy it will be. Shall we take down the other specifications?”

“Well...” Mary said.

“What about... about his character?” Eddie asked. “I mean...”

“That’s the beautiful part of it. You get the machine with a clean mind. There are banks upon banks of memory tapes inside, all tied in with the delicate mechanism of the brain. In other words, it learns only what you want it to learn. It’s a beautiful instrument, believe me. You couldn’t tell it from the real thing.”

“You’re sure?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“About... about telling it from the real thing? I mean — will our neighbors know it’s a robot, and not a real baby?”

The salesman laughed out loud. “Mr. Stevens, if I told you how many of your neighbors had robots instead of babies, you wouldn’t believe me. It’s the coming thing, take my word. Why even couples who can have children are buying our model instead. Rather than go through the mess and the uncertainty, you understand. Believe me, you won’t be alone.”

Eddie glanced uncertainly at Mary. She took her full lower lip between her teeth and nibbled at it. Then she nodded her head.

“All right,” said Eddie.

“Fine, fine.”

The salesman took a contract from his pocket and began unscrewing the lid of his fountain pen. “Now, let’s see. Color of hair...!”

The baby was delivered as promised in less than two weeks.

It looked quite lifelike, and Eddie and Mary were very happy to have it. It didn’t cry at first, but Eddie quickly corrected this, by feeding the proper information to the memory tapes. The baby learned instantly, setting up a most human howl whenever it was disturbed by anything.

“We’ll have to be careful,” Mary said.

“How do you mean?”

“Well, about the things we give to the memory tapes. It would look funny for the baby to be talking at six months old, don’t you think?”

Eddie grinned and wiped a hand over his mouth. “Yeah. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Do you think the neighbors suspect?”

“Nope.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, they just didn’t seem surprised, that’s all,”

“But I... I didn’t look very... pregnant.”

“I know. They still didn’t seem surprised. Don’t ask me. Let’s let well enough alone.”

Mary looked down at the still form of the baby in the crib. “Will... will it be all right, Eddie?”

“Oh, sure.”

“I mean... will we get to love it? It’s... it’s just a machine, you know.”

“We’ll get to love it,” Eddie said solemnly.

“You really think so?”

“I really think so.”

Mr. Jeffries next door was a hell of a nice guy. At least, he was tops in Eddie’s book. When he heard about the baby, he invited Eddie in and offered him a glass of port.

“There’s nothing like it, Eddie,” he said. “Nothing like it. You’ll see. You’ll love it.”

“I love it already,” Eddie said.

“Yes, but wait until it becomes a real person.”

For a moment, Eddie’s lip began to tremble. “Wh... what?”

“You know, when he begins to walk and talk and laugh. That’s when you really begin enjoying ’em. Up to then, heck, they’re just cute little packages, that’s all.”

“I guess so,” Eddie said, immensely relieved.

Mr. Jeffries smiled knowingly. “What are you going to name the little rascal?” he asked.

“Robert,” Eddie replied quickly.

“Robert,” Mr. Jeffries repeated. “That’s a nice name. Robert.”

“My father’s name,” Eddie said, “Lord rest his soul.”

“A very nice name,” Mr. Jeffries repeated.

Eddie finished the port. “Well, I’ve got to get back. Mary’s holding the fort all by herself.”

Mr. Jeffries smiled. “It’ll be easier when he grows up, Eddie. You’ll see what I mean.”

He hurried home to Mary.

Eddie learned one thing that worried him for a little while.

He could tell that Robert was a robot.

He didn’t discover it until Robert was almost five years old. Up until that time, he thought it was an ordinary twinkle in the boy’s eyes. But one day, he was sitting on the sofa reading a book when he glanced up and saw his son watching him.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Nothing, Dad. I was just thinking, that’s all.”

The voice coming from Robert’s lips had been perfectly adjusted so that it corresponded to the chronological age of the machine. Eddie never thought of it as a machine anymore, of course. This was his son, an intelligent, warm, good-looking boy who, Eddie felt, rather favored his father.

“Thinking about what, son?”

“Oh, lots of things.”

Eddie shrugged. And then he saw the flicker of light behind Robert’s right eye. He stared at the boy for a moment.

“Come here, son,” he said.

Robert got to his feet obediently and moved closer to his father. Eddie studied him closely. The flicker was nothing more than that: an occasional twinkle of light far behind the boy’s right eye. Undoubtedly a tube, Eddie thought, and he surprised himself with the knowledge that he still knew the boy was a robot.