Christie Golden - Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

“Wow,” approved Bubble. “You’re right, she’s a ten.”

“You already knew what she looked like.” Valerian was still bothered that Bubble had assumed Laureline’s appearance earlier.

“Yes, but there’s a lot more to being a ten than appearances,” Bubble said.

The glamopod confounded Valerian. She was so innocent and, well, ditzy sometimes, and so strangely wise at others. And of course she was right. He thought about what he most loved about Laureline, and to his surprise it wasn’t her lithe, fit body or gorgeous features. It was her . And that was why Bubble hadn’t been able to tempt him.

He was going to get them both out of here. And, hopefully, she was going to say yes to his proposal.

Laureline’s line advanced inexorably towards the emperor, whose wife was bouncing a little in her seat as the human girl approached.

Valerian frowned slightly. “Something’s wrong,” he said as he watched the empress, whose yellow, froggy eyes were fastened on Laureline. The emperor followed her gaze and now he, too, sat up, abruptly interested in the girl in white carrying the platter of fruit.

He’d dealt with humans before. Why so interested in Laureline? What could be special about her to a Boulan-Bathor? Frantically Valerian tried to recall everything he knew about the species and Boulan III in particular. He’d grown up traveling. He loved food—unique, different, perfect food…

“How about I do a little dance to create a diversion?” Bubble offered.

“No, thanks,” Valerian said quickly.

Laureline now stood before the salivating emperor. His wife applauded ecstatically. Boulan III plucked a huge slice of juicy fruit from Laureline’s platter. But instead of popping it into his mouth, he squeezed it over the top of her head that protruded from the hat.

Comprehension slammed into Valerian.

She’s not carrying the dessert. She is the dessert—and the hat’s a plate!

The emperor reached for a sharp set of tongs. An enormous drop of saliva splattered on the floor.

Just as Valerian drew breath to shout out a warning, Laureline herself realized what was going on. She hurled the platter at the emperor and bolted, but was caught by two of the guards. Shrieking and kicking, she tried to struggle free, but they were too strong and too big. The emperor grunted his approval as his wayward dessert was returned to him.

“I think we should go!” Bubble squeaked.

“ I think you should let me handle this!” Valerian shot back.

“Okay!” Bubble readily agreed.

“Valerian!” Laureline cried out, still twisting in the grip of the two guards.

Even in the direness of the moment, Valerian’s breath caught and his heart swelled. Here she was, facing certain death, and Laureline still had faith that somehow, some way, Valerian would find her.

And, dammit, he had.

“I’m here, Laureline!” he shouted past the lump in his throat. “It’s me, Valerian!”

Bubble had indeed given all motor control to Valerian now. He broke into a run and headed for the gap between two guards. The first guard took a swing at Valerian with a massive sword. Valerian dodged the sweeping strike, ducked in, and seized the second guard’s sword. Before the stunned guards could react, he had stabbed the second one with his own weapon, whirled, and brought the bloodied blade sweeping across the vastness of the first guard’s belly. Both of them fell, and Laureline was free.

Valerian was hoping to draw the emperor’s attention away from his dessert, and he succeeded. The emperor’s red eyes were firmly on him now. Good , Valerian thought. Watch this .

Thanks to Bubble’s talent, Valerian had the form and strength of a Boulan-Bathor, but his own speed and agility. The result was, he was sure, going to go down in the species’ history. He bellowed with the voice of one of their own as he raced toward more oncoming guards, sword flashing as it lopped off arms, severed heads from their long necks, and pierced bulging bellies. The fact that the guards didn’t appear to have much in the way of armor—well, much in the way of any kind of clothing, really—made it that much easier. They did know how to use their weapons, but he seemed to be quick enough to dodge them without any harm.

More guards surged into Valerian’s path, trying to protect their emperor. Valerian cut and ducked and pressed on, leaping over the bodies that were starting to pile up. The empress was quailing off to the side, but the emperor was bellowing and pointing, his red eyes glaring at Valerian.

Valerian yelled, sprang the last few feet, and brought his sword slashing down.

The emperor stayed seated and still. The only thing that moved was the top of his head, right below the crown. It slid to one side, then toppled off.

The crowd gasped. Emperor Boulan III was dead.

Laureline had plastered herself to the floor to the side of the throne, staying safe amidst the flashing blades and toppling bodies. Panting from exertion, Valerian cried out to her.

“Laureline!”

Startled, she glanced up at him. He reached down to her, grabbing her arm with one hand and trying to pull off the awful hat-plate with the other. She thrashed fiercely and abruptly, and Valerian realized that, to her, he looked like just another Boulan-Bathor—one crazy enough to attack a room full of guards and kill the emperor.

“Bubble!” he shouted, “Get off of me!”

Bubble obliged, slipping from around Valerian and returning to her original gelatinous form. Laureline’s eyes went from the blue blobby alien to her partner.

Valerian couldn’t resist. “Let’s get married,” he quipped, “You’re already all in white.”

Those beautiful eyes narrowed and those perfect lips drew back from white teeth in a snarl, and the next thing he knew, she’d landed a solid punch to his jaw.

Blinking, dazed, he peered at her incredulously, and then suddenly she had thrown her arms around him. When she pulled back, she was beaming at him, her eyes shining. He leaned in to kiss her, but as she had done earlier, she lifted a ringed finger and blocked their lips from touching. He frowned, questioning. With the same finger, she pointed behind him.

He followed her gaze.

Every single remaining guard in the room—and there were a lot—was charging toward them, screaming at the top of their lungs and brandishing weapons.

Valerian grabbed Laureline’s hand and shouted, “Bubble! Come on!”

The three started running back toward the kitchens. A dozen snarling warriors, gripping pikes and spears, hastened to block their path. The trio skidded to a halt. Valerian looked around wildly and saw only space surrounding him. There was no other way out. Or was there?

“Back to the throne!” he yelled.

“Are you crazy?” shouted Laureline.

He didn’t answer, but it was the only shot they had. He tightened his grip on her hand and they hurried back the way they had come, Bubble hard on their heels. The move was so suicidal that it took the guards completely by surprise and the path was clear.

Valerian headed straight for one side of the throne. The empress was nowhere to be seen, and there was no need for guards to stay and protect a dead emperor. And there it was, as he had hoped.

A grate.

He dropped to his knees and, with the help of Laureline and Bubbles, managed to move the grate to the side.

The howling guards were approaching. “Go, go!” shouted Valerian to the other two. They slid down into… whatever awaited them below. It had to be better than what was running toward them, mouths open in those awful screams, weapons flashing.