Robert Asprin - Something MYTH Inc

"That's a relief," I sighed.

"Is it?" she said. "I'll be honest with you, Skeeve. If they had included me in their planning, I would have gone along with it."

"You would?"

"Yes, I would," she said. "This whole thing with Queen Hemlock and the kingdom's finances has had you tied in knots, Skeeve. You really didn't need any other distractions."

"I see," I said. "I would have thought, if anyone, that you would be on my side, Bunny."

"When did it become 'sides,' Skeeve?" Bunny sighed. "We're all supposed to be on the same team. Remember?"

"Well, yes. But..."

"Have you listened to yourself lately, Skeeve?" she continued. "When I first walked in here, you nearly bit my head off because you thought I was coming to you with more problems. Now, in the same conversation, you're upset because Guido and Nunzio didn't come to you with new problems. You think you're confused?

Well, don't feel all alone. The whole team is confused right now."

"I don't... I just can't seem to get a fix on things anymore," I said.

"I've noticed," she said, turning to go. "Well, when you sort things out, or if you want someone to talk to, let me know. Until then, I think I'll just try to stay out of your way."

"Bunny, I..." I started to say, but she had already gone.

Terrific.

I leaned against Gleep's stall and let my thoughts whirl through my mind.

Now, on top of everything else, Bunny was upset with me. It was strange to realize just how much that bothered me. When her uncle, Don Bruce, first assigned her to me as my moll, she had come on so strong that she made me uneasy just to be around. Heck, she scared the pants off me. Since then, she had settled into the role of administrative assistant and personal confidante, performing with such competence and efficiency that she was now an indispensable member of the team. I had nothing but the highest respect for her, and wanted desperately for her to respect me in turn.

"Bunny ... right."

I looked up to find Gleep awake and staring at me.

"Gleep!" I said. "Are you all right, fellah? You're looking better and ... you're talking?"

I remembered now that, just before he collapsed, he had said my name, effectively doubling his vocabulary up until that point. I had been impressed at the time, but now ...

"Bunny ... right," he said again.

"Wait a minute, Gleep," I said. "You can talk? Why haven't you said anything before?"

"Secret," he said, then craned his neck to look toward the door. "Keep ... secret?"

"Sure, I'll keep it a secret," I said. "But... wait a minute. What do you mean 'Bunny's right'?"

"Friends ... love ... Skeeve," my pet said. "Skeeve ... not... happy. Friends ... try ... make ... happy. Not... know ... how."

Maybe it was his broken speech or the simplification it required, but what Gleep was saying made sense. It kind of summarized what a lot of people had been telling me. In an absence of information from me, the team had been left to their own devices at interpreting what it would take to make me happy, then acting on those interpretations. In turn, I had been looking at those actions without realizing what they were doing, and ...

"Wait a minute, Gleep," I said. "Those 'accidents' you've been having. Did they have anything to do with what you're telling me now?"

"Gleep," he said, chewing at his foot.

"Oh no," I said. "The 'dumb animal' bit won't work any more. Answer the question."

He looked at me levelly.

"Skeeve ... not... happy," he said. "Gleep ... love ... Skeeve."

If I thought my brain was whirling before, now it was doing loop-the-loops.

"But Gleep, I don't know what it will take to make me happy," I said desperately.

"Talk ... Aahz," he said.

"What?"

"Talk ... Aahz," he repeated. "Aahz ... help."

Actually, that was pretty good advice. Aahz had been my teacher and mentor long before he took me as a full partner. Not only had he seen a lot and been around for a long time, he had a vested interest in my well-being.

"Good idea, Gleep," I said. "But now that we're talking .. ."

"Talk ... Aahz," he said again. "Gleep ... sleep ... now. Hurt."

With that, he lowered his head to the ground, heaved a sigh, and closed his eyes.

Having been effectively dismissed by my own pet, I went to find Aahz.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I barely noticed my surroundings as I made my way through the palace courtyard. Even though I wasn't seeing things, however, didn't mean others weren't seeing me.

"Hi, Skeeve. How's the dragon?"

It was Pookie, leaning against the courtyard wall in the shadows.

"Gleep? Oh, I think he'll be fine, Pookie. Thanks for asking."

"Any chance you have a minute to talk?" she said. "I know you're busy, but..."

She let it trail off.

"Sure, if you don't mind talking while we walk," I said. "What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you now that things have calmed down a little," she said, falling in step with me. "Is what I've heard right? The whole thing with the Queen has been resolved?"

"That's right," I said, forcing a smile. "I'm off the hook. It turns out that her whole threat to abdicate and stick me with Possiltum if I didn't marry her was just a bluff. I'm still single, and she's going to handle the kingdom."

"Uh-huh," she said. "Well, in that case it seems like it's time for me to move on."

"It does?" I said, slowing slightly.

Truth to tell, with all the excitement that had been goin on, I really hadn't given much thought to Pookie and her continued employment. Apparently she had.

"Sure," she said. "I was only hanging around because there was some question as to how the Queen would take it if you turned her down. Now that we've cleared that hurdle, I can't see anything for me to do around here that can't be handled by Guido and Nunzio."

"I dunno, Pookie," I said. "I haven't had a chance to talk with the rest of the team, but I'm pretty sure they'd be interested in taking you on as a full-time member of M.Y.T.H. Inc. At this point, I don't think there's any question as to your being qualified."

"I've thought of that," she said. "No offense, but I don't really think it's for me. I still get too much of a kick freelancing through the dimensions to settle down to steady work just now. Besides, I've got a new partner now. I'd want to teach her the ropes a bit and get her some seasoning before she'd be ready to apply for a place in your crew."

I homed in on two phrases in her statement: 'new partner' and 'her/she.' Pookie hadn't met all that many people here on Klah, much less female people. Massha was about to get married, and Queen Hemlock wasn't budging. By elimination, it sounded like she was talking about Bunny.

"A new partner?" I said, trying to make it sound casual. "Anyone I know?"

"Don't know how well you know her," Pookie said. "But it's Spyder, if that's what you're asking."

I felt strangely relieved that she wasn't referring to Bunny, but her answer still left me puzzled.

"Spyder?" I said, frowning. "The guy from the Army that's been checking on the tax collectors? He's a woman? I mean ..."

"I guess you don't know her too well," Pookie said with a laugh. "Trust me, Skeeve. She's a woman. I know the difference."

"So, you're teaming with her now," I said quickly, trying to hide my embarrassment. "When did this happen?"

"Well, we've been working together on the tax collectors getting hijacked, and we hit it off pretty well," she said. "The kid's a little wet behind the ears, but there's plenty of potential there if anyone's willing to take the time to work with her."

For some reason, that reminded me of my early days with Aahz. As complex as things had become lately, I found myself reflecting on those times with a certain amount of nostalgia.