John Varley - Wizard

"Okay. I am feeling better. I'll be up and around soon, and I'm through with drinking. You'll see."

"Yeah." Gaby looked away, then forced herself back. "I didn't come up here for promises. Not that kind. I wanted to know if you're still with us. With me."

"With... oh, you mean ... what we talked about." She looked quickly around the room, as if to surprise concealed listeners. She shivered and seemed to want to sit up. Gaby helped her. Cirocco pulled the blankets tightly around herself The fireplace roared and crackled and kept the room heated to around thirty-five sweltering degrees, but Cirocco could not get warm.

"I've ... I've been thinking about it," Cirocco said, and Gaby was sure she was lying. She had been thinking of getting a drink. It didn't matter. Her fears would now speak directly, uncensored by any scheme.

"I was thinking maybe we ... maybe we should, should think about it some more. I mean, let's don't rush into it. It's a big step to take. I'll ... sure, I'll still go with you, but we shouldn't... really shouldn't go all the way through with it, you know? Shouldn't really talk to, to Rhea and Crius and-"

"Twenty years isn't exactly rushing it," Gaby pointed out.

"Well, yeah, sure, but what I'm saying... ." She trailed off, obviously unsure of what she was saying. "If I could just have... uh-oh, no, I won't say it. I won't ask. I'll be a good girl, okay?" She smiled weakly, ingratiatingly.

"So you're going to back out?"

Cirocco frowned. "I didn't say that. Did I? Come on, Gaby, you know it's dangerous. You said so yourself. What we ought to do is back off, don't rush into it, and in a little while ... well, it'll be obvious what... ." Once more she lost the train of thought.

"Okay," Gaby said, getting up. "I don't know if we have the time, but I thought you'd say something like this. I'm not sure Gene's going to give us the time. I think he was up to something. I don't know what. But this has to be started now, not later. It's just a feasibility study, Rocky. Think of it that way."

"I don't know if I can ... well, do it without arousing suspicion."

"Sure you can."

"No. No, this is too rash. I've thought it over. Wait; then I'll help you."

"No." She waited for Cirocco to understand her, saw the feeble smile slowly fade. "It may be too late already. If you won't do it, I will. And I think I'd better tell those two pilgrims they might be better off without us."

Cirocco started to say something, but Gaby didn't want to hear it. She left the room as quickly as she could.

The Melody Shop had been designed and built with Titanides in mind. The ceilings were high, and the doors were wide. The few carpets were placed only where there were human-sized chairs, a reminder to Titanides to stay off them. Much of the hardwood floor was covered in sawdust or straw. The big table in the library had a human side and a Titanide side, half with chairs and half with straw floors. It had high windows that faced east, toward the Midnight Sea, and a stone fireplace, now cold. Gaby had gathered everyone there because of the view. While she said what she had to say, they could look out over the land they had yet to cover and thus perhaps make a more informed decision.

"I guess there's no easy way to say this. It's doubly hard because of some of the things I've already said to some of you. But from this point I'm rescinding all promises about Cirocco. She is much worse off than I thought. I don't know yet if she'll be going with me, but whether she does or not, it's time to reevaluate decisions you all made based on wrong information. I told you that Rocky would pull out of it and be useful and ... and that she'd be an asset rather than a burden. I can no longer stand behind that."

She scanned the six faces. With the exception of Hautbois, she knew what each of the Titanides would say. About Chris and Robin she was not so sure. Chris had problems of his own, possibly of a temporary nature, and she would never dare guess what Robin might do.

"It boils down to this. I will be going on around the rim. Rocky may join me. You all are welcome if you wish to come. If Rocky goes, she may let one or more of us down in some important ways. By that I mean a little more than just the fact we'd have to take care of her if she managed to get drunk again. That's not the problem. Whether this makes you angry or not, Chris, and you, too, Robin, either of you could put us in the same position and probably will. In a way Rocky has no more control of it than you two do.

"That I'm willing to accept. I can't tell you why, I guess, but I do, for all three of you. I'll take care of you when you're incapacitated, and so will all the Titanides."

"We actually view your disabilities as no more serious than the human trait of falling asleep," Hornpipe put in hesitantly. "It is the same thing for us. When you sleep, we have to look out for you."

"He's got a point," Gaby said. "Anyway, my fears about Rocky are that she will let us down through a failure of nerve. I never thought I'd have to say that, but there it is. I'm no longer sure she'd put the welfare of the group over her own personal needs. I feel I hardly know her. But I have to view her as unreliable.

"As I said, I'm going anyway. What I need to know is what your plans are. Hornpipe?"

"I'll stay with Cirocco. If she goes, fine."

Gaby nodded. She raised her eyebrows to Psaltery, who barely bothered to nod. She knew he would go with her.

"Valiha?"

"I would like to continue on," she said. "But only if Chris goes."

"Right. Hautbois?"

"I must complete the circuit," she said. "I have never been a hindmother, and this is my best chance."

"Okay. Glad to have you. What about you, Chris?"

It looked like an effort for Chris to so much as lift his gaze from the table. He had recovered from his latest attack hours ago, but as usual with attacks in which there had been no memory loss, he was emotionally exhausted and had no more self-esteem than a whipped dog.

"I think you're minimizing the problem," he muttered. "The problem with me, I mean. Why should I expect more of Cirocco than I can of myself?" Valiha reached for his hand, but he jerked it away. "I'll go if you'll have me."

"We knew what we were getting into," Gaby said. "You're welcome here. Robin?"

There was a long pause. Gaby worried while Robin made up her mind. The witch's alternative, so far as Gaby could see, was a climb up the spoke. Robin was capable of setting out on that trip, knowing she would die on the way.

"I'll go," she said finally.

"Sure? Couldn't you back out with honor?"

"Since you offered, yes, I could. But I'll go."

Gaby had no intention of questioning her beyond that

"That leaves only Rocky and Hornpipe as maybes. All right. Gather up your things. Meet me on the front porch in one rev."

It was a somber departure.

The clouds which had for two hectorevs broken on the precipice of Machu Picchu were now sending outriders rolling over the Melody Shop. The celestial spotlight was blotted out. The great white house stood silent in the gloom, its life drained away. Inside, Gaby was latching the storm shutters.

The saddlebags of the Titanides had been reprovisioned. There was little left to do, but still, Gaby bustled about like a vacationer fearful she would forget something. Chris and Robin both knew she was hoping for Cirocco to make an appearance, and neither of them expected the Wizard to do so.

A bolt of lightning flashed between the twin peaks of Cirocco's mountain retreat. The Titanides did not react, but Chris and Robin milled nervously. Chris stepped into Valiha's hand and settled himself on her back. Robin mounted Hautbois. They all waited.

Gaby came out and jumped onto Psaltery. She looked back at the house, in time to see the doorknob turn. Cirocco came out, tall in her red blanket and bare feet. She looked ashen and weak. She came down the steps carefully and walked over to Psaltery and Gaby. She held her hands over her head.