Philip Dick - Radio Free Albemuth

"I wondered about that," I said.

"What we receive," Sadassa said, "is pararadio signals, a radiation enclosure of the radio beam, so that if the radio message is decoded it signifies nothing. That is why Dr Moyashka has never been able to unscramble the instructions passing from the satellite to Earth; the radio signal alone is only half the total information. The violent phosphene activity you experience from time to time, especially when the plasmatic personality was beaming down, is stimulated by radiation, not the radio signal. That kind of radiation is unknown to us here. Except for the phosphene response it passes unnoticed, and only the receiving person experiences the phosphene response. Other organisms may experience changes in blood volume and pressure, but that is all."

I said, That can't be the only reason the ancient Jews were selected, because they lived outdoors."

"No, that's not the only reason. That's why they were accessible to approach and contact. The position of ancient Judah to the tyrannical empires was the same as ours is to Ferris Fremont; they were an unassimilated remnant of mankind, unsullied by power and majesty. They always fought the empires, whatever they were; they always strove for independence and freedom and individuality; they were the spearhead of modern man, opposed to the crushing uniformity of Babylon, and Assyria, and most of all Rome. What they were to Rome then, we are to Rome now."

"But remember what happened in 70 A.D.," I said, "when they revolted against Rome. Complete massacre of their people, destruction of the temple, and dispersion forever."

Sadassa said, "And you're afraid of that happening now,"

"Yes,"I said.

"Ferris Fremont will destroy us whether we attack him or not. At the end of this week he will shoot the Aramchek satellite down, via Soviet technology. Meanwhile the FAPers are trying to locate all the tandem personalities created by the satellite - people like you and me, Nick. That's why the confession kits, that's why the growing police supervision. You didn't know what they were searching for when they came to you, but they did."

"Have they caught very many of us?"

"I don't know," Sadassa said. "Since we rarely have contact with one another... such as you and I have as we sit here. But I've been told that half the organization has been discovered - on a person-by-person basis - and killed. We are killed, when we are found, not imprisoned. Often killed as they tried to kill me: by toxin. The government arsenals possess very potent toxins, as a weapon of domestic war. They leave no traces in the body; no coroner can ascertain the cause of death."

"But you lived on," I said.

The fact that Valis healed me," Sadassa said, "was unexpected to them. Metastasizing cancer had riddled my body before he intervened and healed me. I was healed of it in a day; all the cancer cells, even in my spinal column and brain, disappeared. The doctors could find no trace."

"What happens to you when the satellite is destroyed?"

"I don't know, Nick," she said calmly. "I guess I succumb once more. Maybe not; maybe Valis's healing is permanent."

If it is not, I realized, then I regain my internal chest injuries from the auto accident. But I said nothing.

"What frightens you the most about this whole situation?" Sadassa asked. "The invasion? That was what - "

„The end of the satellite," I said.

"Then you're not frightened at what has happened to you. To each of us."

"No," I said. "Well, frightened in a good way because it was such a surprise. And I didn't understand it. But it saved me from the police."

"You got something in the mail."

"Yes," I said.

"They can detect the general area of a massive transmission print out. They knew the beam went to someone in your area. They probably mailed - the police cryptographers, I mean - probably mailed similar material to everyone near you. What did you do with it?"

"Phoned up FAP. But it wasn't me, it was - " I hesitated, not knowing how to refer to it.

"Firebright," Sadassa said.

"What?" I said.

"That's how I refer to the plasmatic entity in me; I call it „firebright." That's a description, not a name; he's like a little egg of pale, cold fire. Glowing with life up here." She touched her forehead. "It's strange to have him inside me, alive and unnoticed. Hidden in me, as he's hidden in you. Others can't see him. He's safe." She added, "Relatively safe."

"If I am killed," I said, "will he die with me?"

"He's immortal." She gazed at me for a time. "So are you now, Nicholas. Once firebright bondecl to you, you became an immortal creature. As he goes on, you go on with him; when your body is destroyed and he leaves he will take you with him. They won't desert us. As you and I have housed and sheltered them, they will take us along, into eternity."

"A reward?" I asked.

"Yes. For what we've done, or tried to do. They value the effort, the attempt, as equal to the achievement. They judge by the heart. By intention. They know we can only do so much, that if we fail we fail. We can only try."

"You think we're going to fail too," I said. Sadassa said nothing. She sipped her drink.

At the end of the week the Soviet Union announced that there had been a mysterious explosion aboard the intercept satellite which they had launched to photograph the ETI satellite. The force of the blast had destroyed both satellites. Cause of the mighty explosion was unknown, but presumed to be in the Soviet satellite's fuel supply. Dr Moyashka had ordered a full inquiry-.

Only two pictures of the ETI satellite had been transmitted before it was destroyed; surprisingly, they showed it to be pitted and evidently partially damaged from metebr showers. The implication, Dr Moyashka said, was that the ETI satellite had crossed a great deal of interstellar space before reaching its position in orbit around Earth. The conclusion that it was a very old satellite, long in orbit, was rejected as unscientific and not in accord with Marxist-Leninist reasoning.

So much for that, I said to myself as I watched the news item on TV. They shot down God, or rather God's voice. Vox del, I said to myself. Gone now from the world.

There must be many happy parties going on in Moscow.

Well, I thought glumly, a great epoch in the history of man has reached its end. Nothing will instruct us, nothing exists in our sky to cheer us when we are down, to lift us up and keep us alive, to heal our wounds. In Washington and Moscow they are saying, "Man has finally come of age; he doesn't need paternalistic help." Which is another way of saying, "We have abolished that help, and in its place we will rule," offering no help at all: taking but not giving, ruling but not obeying, telling but not listening, taking life and not giving it. The slayers govern now, without interference; the dreams of mankind have become empty.

That night as Rachel, Johnny, and I, plus Pinky our cat, lay together on the big bed in our bedroom, a pale white light began to appear and fill the room.

Lying in my place on the bed I realized that no one could see the pale light but me; Pinky dozed, Rachel dozed, Johnny snored in his sleep. I alone, awake, saw the light grow, and I saw that it had no source, no location; it filled all spaces equally and made every object strikingly clear. What is this? I wondered, and a deep fear filled me. It was as if the presence of death had entered the room.

The light became so bright that I could make out every detail around me. The slumbering woman, the little boy, the dozing cat - they seemed etched or painted, unable to move, pitilessly revealed by the light. And in addition something looked down at us as we lay as if on a purely two-dimensional surface; something which traveled and made use of three dimensions studied us creatures limited to two. There was no place to hide; the light, the pitiless gaze, were everywhere.