Robert Heinlein - The Cat Who Walked Through Walls

"Start talking." "Lib love? Place that rosette Pete wanted-or was it Archie? Spike the earliest date of surveillance. Go back three years. Evacuate."

"Paradox, Jacob."

"Yes. Place those three years in a loop, squeeze them off, throw them away. Check it."

"I check you, dear. More?"

"No. Off now."

Burroughs continued, "-sent a field operative to our time line to try to find us, anywhere in the fifty-year bracket from my birth to the night we ran for our lives. We are not there at all. We were never born. Both Zeb and I had military careers as well as academic ones; we are not in military records, we are not in campus records. There is a record of my parents... but they never had me. Colonel, in all the dozens, hundreds, of ways that citizens were recorded in the twentieth century in the United States of North America not one trace could be found that showed that we had ever been there."

Burroughs sighed. "The Gay Deceiver not only saved our lives that night; she saved our very existence. She took evasive action so fast that the Beast lost track- What is it, dear?"

Jane Libby was standing by us, dripping, and looking round-eyed. "Papa?"

"Say it, love."

"We need those sneakies Pythagoras wanted but they should go back much farther, oh, ten years or more. Then, when they spot the tick at which the Overlord or whoever started watching THQ, back off some and evacuate. Loop and patch, and they'll never suspect that we outflanked them. I told Deety; she thinks it could work. What do you think?"

"I think it will. Let me get your mother on line and we'll introduce it. Dora, let me have Elizabeth again, please." Nothing in his face or manner suggested that he had just spoken to Libby Long, proposing what was (so far as I could see) the same plan.

"Elizabeth? A message from our table tennis champ. Jane Libby says to place that rosette at minus ten years, spike first surveillance, then go back-oh, say, three years-evacuate, squeeze off a loop and patch in. Both Deety and I think it will work. Please submit it to the panel, credited to Jane Ell, with Deety's vote and mine noted."

"And my vote."

"You have smart children, mistress mine."

"Comes of picking smart fathers, sir. And good ones. Good to his offspring, good to his wives. Off?"

"Off." Burroughs added, to the girl waiting, "Your parents are proud of you, Janie. I predict that the maths section will produce a unanimous report in the next few minutes. You have answered the objection Lazarus raised-his quite legitimate objection-by producing a solution under which it does not matter who did this to us; we can repair it safely without knowing who did it. But did you notice that your method may also tie down who did it? With a little bit of luck."

Jane Libby looked as if she had just received a Nobel Prize. "I noticed. But the problem simply called for safe evacuation; the rest is serendipitous."

"'Serendipitous' is another way of spelling 'smart.' Ready for some supper? Or do you want to get back in the bowl? Or both? Why don't you throw Colonel Campbell in with his clothes on? Deety and Hilda will help you, I'm certain, and I think Hazel might."

"Now wait a minute!" I protested.

"Sissy!" "Colonel, we won't do that to you! Pop is joking."

"I am like hell joking." "Throw your pop in first, for drill. If it doesn't hurt him, then I'll submit quietly." "Blert!" "You just keep out of this!"

"Janie baby."

"Yes, Pop?" "Find out how many orders there are for strawberry malted milks and hot dogs, or unreasonable facsimiles. While you are doing that, I will hang my clothes in the dry cabinet-and if the colonel is smart, he will, too; Colonel, this is a rowdy bunch, especially in this exact combination-Hilda, Deety, Hazel, and Janie. Explosive. Who takes care of the kitten?" An hour later Dora (a little blue light) led us to our stateroom;

Hazel carried the kitten and one saucer, I carried our clothes, the other saucer, my cane, and her handbag. I was pleasantly tired and looking forward to going to bed with my bride. For too long she had not been in my bed. From my viewpoint we had missed two nights... not long for old married couples, much too long for a honeymoon. And the moral of that is:

Don't get yourself mugged on your honeymoon.

From her standpoint it had been... a month? "Best of girls, how long has it been? That Lethe field has left me with my time sense fouled up."

Hazel hesitated. "It has been thirty-seven Tertian days here. But to you it should feel like overnight. Well, two nights... because, by the time I came to bed last night, you were snoring. I'm sorry. Hate me some but not too much. Here's our wee bunty ben."

("Wee bunty ben" indeed! It was larger than my luxury suite in Golden Rule and more lavish... with a bigger and better bed.) "Bride, we bathed in Lazarus's Taj Mahal playroom. I no longer have to remove my cork leg and I took care of everything else in that Taj Mahal. If you have anything to do, do it. But be quick about it! I'm eager."

"Nothing. But must take care of Pixel."

"We'll put his saucers in the 'fresher, shut him in, let him out later."

So we did, and went to bed, and it was wonderful, and the details are none of your business.

Sometime later Hazel said, "We've been joined."

"We still are."

"I mean, 'We have company.'"

"So I noticed. He climbed on my shoulder blades way back when, but I was busy and he weighs almost nothing, so I didn't mention it. Can you grab him and keep him from being rolled on and crushed while I get us untangled?"

"Yes. No hurry about it. Richard, you're a good boy. Pixel and I have decided to keep you."

"Just try to get rid of me! You can't. Love, you phrased something oddly. You said it was 'thirty-seven Tertian days here.'"

She looked up at me soberly. "It was longer than that for me, Richard."

"I wondered. How long?"

"About two years. Earth years."

"I be goddam!"

"But, dear, while you were ill, I did come home every day. Thirty-seven times I came to your hospital room in the morning, exactly as I promised. You recognized me every time, too, and smiled and seemed happy to see me. But of course the Lethe field made you forget every moment even as it happened. Each evening I went away again, and came back later that evening, having been gone, on the average, about three weeks each time. The schedule wasn't difficult for me, but Gay Deceiver made two trips every evening, with either the double twins or Hilda's crew making the runs. Let me up now, dear; I have the Pixel cat safe."

We rearranged ourselves comfortably. "What were you doing, gone so much?"

"Time Corps field work. Historical research." "I guess I still don't understand what the Time Corps does. Couldn't you have waited a month, then both of us could have done it, together? Or do I have my head on backwards?"

"Yes and no. 1 asked for the assignment. Richard, I've been trying to trace down what happens after you and 1 tackle rescuing Adam Selene. Mike the computer."

"And what did you learn?" "Nothing. Not a damn thing. We can find only two time lines from that event-it's a cusp event; you and I created both futures. I searched the following four centuries on both lines-on Luna, down dirtside, several colonies and habitats. They all say either that we succeeded... or that we tried and died ... or they don't mention us at all. The last is the usual case; most historians don't believe that Adam Selene was a computer."

"Well... we're no worse off than we were before. Are we?"

"No. But I had to look. And I wanted to check it out before you woke up. Out from under the Lethe field, I mean."

"Do you know, small person, I think well of you. You are considerate of your husband. And of cats. And of other people.

Uh- No, none of my business." "Speak up, beloved, or I tickle."