Robert Heinlein - The Number of the Beast

"Hmm-" Zebadiah withdrew it a span, returned it with a click. "Silly... but I feel comforted by it, too."

"I see nothing silly, sir. Ten hours ago you killed a thing with it that would have killed me."

"I stand-sprawl-corrected, my Princess. Dejah Thoris is always correct."

"I hope my Chieftain will always think so."

"He will. Give me a big kiss. What's the pie pan for?"

"Radar alarm test."

Having delivered the kiss, I crawled past Hilda and handed Pop his saber. He grinned at me. "Deety hon, you're a one! Just the security blanket I need. How did you know?"

"Because Aunt Hilda and I need it. With our warriors armed, we will sleep soundly." I kissed Pop, crawled out from under. "Cover your ears!"

I got to my knees, sailed that pan far and high, dropped flat and covered my ears. As the pan sailed into the zone of microwave radiation, a horrid clamor sounded inside the car, kept up until the pan struck the ground and stopped rolling-chopped off. "Somebody remind me to recover that. Good night, all!"

I crawled back, stretched out by Hilda, kissed her goodnight, set the clock in my head for six hours, went to sleep.

The sun was saying that it was fourteen instead of fourteen-fifteen and I decided that my circadian did not fit Barsoom. Would the clock in my head "slow" to match a day forty minutes longer? Would it give me trouble? Not likely-I've always been able to sleep anytime. I felt grand and ready for anything.

I crept off the pallet, snaked up into the car's cabin, and stretched. Felt good!

I crawled through the bulkhead door back of th~ rp~r ~ ~rM

and my jewelry case, went forward into the space between seats and instrument board.

I tried tying a filmy green scarf as a bikini bottom, but it looked like a diaper. I took it off, folded it corner to corner, pinned it at my left hip with a jeweled brooch. Lots better! "Indecently decent" Pop Would say.

I looped a rope of imitation pearls around my hips, arranged strands to drape with the cloth, fastened them at the brooch. I hung around my neck a pendant of pearls and cabochon emeralds-from my father the day I received the title doctor of philosophy.

I was adding bracelets and rings when I heard "Psst!"-looked down and saw the Hillbilly's head and hands at the doorsill. Hilda put a finger to her lips. I nodded, gave her a hand up, whispered, "Still asleep?"

"Like babies."

"Let's get you dressed... 'Princess Thuvia."

Aunt Hilda giggled. "Thank you... 'Princess' Dejah Thoris." "Want anything but jewelry?"

"Just something to anchor it. That old-gold scarf if you can spare it."

"Course I can! Nothing's too good for my Aunt Thuvia and that scarf is durn near nothing. Baby doll, we're going to deck you out for the auction block. Will you do my hair?"

"And you mine. Deety-I mean 'Dejah Thoris'-I miss a three-way mirror."

"We'll be mirrors for each other," I told her. "I don't mind camping out. My great-great-great-grandmother had two babies in a sod house. Except"-I ducked my head, sniffed my armpit-"we'd better find a stream." I added, "Hold still. Or shall I pin it through your skin?"

"Either way, dear. We'll find water-all this ground cover."

"Ground cover doesn't prove running water. This place may be a 'dead sea bottom of Barsoom."

"Doesn't look dead," Aunt Hilda countered. "It's pretty."

"Yes, but this looks like a dead sea bottom. Which gave me an idea. Hold up your hair; I want to arrange your necklaces."

"What idea?" Aunt Hilda demanded.

"Zebadiah told me to figure a third escape program. The first two-I'll paraphrase, Gay is awake. One tells her to take us back to a height over Snug Harbor; the other tells her to scoot back to where she was before she was last given the first order."

"I thought that one told her to place us over the Grand Canyon?"

"It does, at present. But if she got the first Order now, that would change the second order. Instead of over the Grand Canyon, we would be back here quicker'n a frog could wink its eye."

"Okay if you say so."

"She's programmed that way. Hit the panic button and we are over our cabin site. Suppose we arrive there and find trouble, then use the 'C' order. She takes us back to wherever she last got the 7' order. Dangerous or we would not have left in a rush. So we need a third escape program, to take us to a safe place. This looks safe."

"It's peaceful."

"Seems so. There!-more doodads than a Christmas tree and you look nakeder than ever."

"That's the effect we want, isn't it? Sit down in the copilot's seat; I'll do your hair."

"Want shoes?" I asked.

"On Barsoom? Dejah Thoris, thank you for your little-girl shoes. But they pinch my toes. You're going to wear shoes?"

"Not bleedin' likely, Aunt Nanny Goat. I toughened my feet for karate-I can break a four-by-nine with my feet and get nary a bruise. Or run on sharp gravel. What's a good escape phrase? I plan to store in Gay an emergency signal for every spot we visit that looks like a safe hidey-hole. So give me a phrase."

"Your mudder chaws terbacker!"

"Nanny Goat! A code-phrase should have a built-in mnemonic."

"'Bug Out'?"

"A horrid expression and just what we need. 'Bug Out' will mean to take us to this exact spot. I'll program it. And post it and others on the instrument board so that, if anyone forgets, she can read it."

"And so could any outsider, if she got in."

"Fat lot of good it would do her! Gay ignores an order not in our voices. Hello, Gay."

"Hello, Deety!"

"Retrieve present location. Report."

"Null program."

"Are we lost?"

"Not at all, Aunt Hilda. I was sloppy. Gay, program check. Define 'Home."

"Cancel any-all transitions translations rotations inertials. Return to zerodesignated latitude longitude two kiicks above ground level hovering."

"Search memory reversed-real-time for last order execute-coded Gay Deceiver take us home."

"Retrieved."

"From time of retrieved order integrate to time-present all transitions translations rotations inertials."

"Integrated."

"Test check. Report summary of integration."

"Origin 'Home.' Countermarch program executed. Complex maneuver inertials. Translation Tau axis ten minimals positive. Complex maneuver inertials. Translation Eli axis two-two-four-zero-nine-zero-eight-two-seven point zero klicks. Negative vector Eli axis twenty-four klicks per sec. Negative vector Ell axis four klicks per sec. Complex manuever inertials. Grounded here-then oh-eight-oh-two-forty-nine. Grounded inertials continuing eight hours three minutes nineteen seconds mark! Grounded inertials continue running realtime."

"New program. Here-now grounded inertial location real-time running to reai-time new execute order equals code-phrase bug-out. Report new program."

Gay answered: "New program code-phrase bug-out: Definition: Here-now grounded inertials running real-time to future-time execute order code-phrase bug-out."

"Gay, I tell you three times."

"Deety, I hear you three times."

"New program. Execute-coded Gay Deceiver Bug Out.. At execute-code move to location coded 'bug-out.' I tell you three times."

"I hear you three times."

"Gay Deceiver, you're a smart girl."

"Deety, why don't you leave that big ape and live with me? Over."

"Good night, Gay. Roger and out. Hillbilly, I didn't give you that answer." I tried to look fierce.

"Why, Deety, how could you say such a thing?"

"I know I didn't. Well?"

"I 'fess up, Deetikins. A few days ago while you and I were working, you were called away. While I waited, I stuck that in. Want it erased?"

I don't know how to look fierce; I snickered. "No. Maybe Zebadiah will be around the next time it pops up. I wish our men would wake, I do."