Robert Heinlein - The Rolling Stones

""No" what?"

"No, Captain."

"Not captain yet, perhaps, but that's the general idea." He turned to his sons. "I wonder if you two yahoos understand the nature of this situation?"

Castor bit his lip. Pollux looked at his twin, then back at his father. "Dad, you're the one who doesn't understand the nature of the situation. You're making a fuss over nothing. If it'll give you any satisfaction, we'll open it up again - but you'll simply see that we were right. If you had seen those gaskets, you would have passed them."

"Probably. Almost certainly. But a skipper's orders as to how he wants his ship gotten ready for space are not subject to change by a dockyard mechanic - which is what you both rate at the moment. Understand me?"

"Okay, so we should have waited: Tomorrow we'll open her up, you'll see that we were right and we'll close it up again."

"Wrong. Tomorrow you will go out, open it up, and bring the old gaskets back to me. Then you will both stay right here at home until the new gaskets arrive. You can spend the time con­templating the notion that orders are meant to be carried out."

Castor said, "Now just a minute, Dad! You'll put us days behind."

Pollux added, "Not to mention the hours of work you are making us waste already."

Castor: "You can't expect us to get the ship ready if you insist on jiggling our elbows!"

Pollux: "And don't forget the money we're saving you."

Castor: "Right! It's not costing you a square shilling!"

Pollux: "And yet you pull this "regulation skipper" act on us."

Castor: "Discouraging! That's what it is!"

" Pipe down!" Without waiting for them to comply he stood up and grasped each of them by the scruff of his jacket. Luna's one-sixth gravity permitted him to straight-arm them both; he held them high up off the floor and wide apart. They struggled helplessly, unable to reach anything.

"Listen to me," he ordered. "Up to now I hadn't quite decided whether to let you two wild men go along or not. But now my mind's made up."

There was a short silence from the two, then Pollux said mournfully, "You mean we don't go?"

"I mean you do go. You need a taste of strict ship's discipline a durn sight more than you need to go to school; these modern schools aren't tough enough for the likes of you. I mean to run a taut ship - prompt, cheerful obedience, on the bounce! Or I throw the book at you. Understand me? Castor?"

"Uh, yes, sir."

"Pollux?"

"Ayeaye,sir!"

"See that you remember it. Pull a fast-talk like that on me when we're in space and I'll stuff you down each other's throat." He cracked their heads together smartly and threw them away.

The next day, on the way back from the field with the old gaskets, the twins stopped for a few minutes at the city library. They spent the four days they had to wait boning up on space law. They found it rather sobering reading, particularly the part which asserted that a commanding officer in space, acting independently, may and must maintain his authority against any who might attempt to usurp or dispute it. Some of the cited cases were quite grisly. They read of a freighter captain who, in his capacity as chief magistrate, had caused a mutineer to be shoved out an airlock, there to rupture his lungs in the vacuum of space, drown in his own blood

Pollux made a face. "Grandpa," he inquired, "how would you like to be spaced?"

"No future in it. Thin stuff, vacuum. Low vitamin content"

"Maybe we had better be careful not to irritate Dad. This "captain" pose has gone to his head."

"It's no pose. Once we raise ship it's legal as church on Sunday. But Dad won't space us, no matter what we do."

"Don't count on it. Dad is a very tough hombre when he forgets that he's a loving father"

"Junior, you worry too much."

"So? When you feel the pressure drop remember what I said."

It had been early agreed that the ship could not stay the Cherub. There had been no such agreement on what the new name should be. After several noisy arguments Dr. Stone, who herself had no special preference, suggested that they place a box on the dining table into which proposed names might be placed without debate. For one week the slips accumulated; then the box was opened.

Dr. Stone wrote them down:

Dauntless Icarus

Jabberwock Susan B. Anthony

H. M. S. Pinafore Iron Duke

The Clunker Morning Star

Star Wagon Tumbleweed

Go-Devil Oom Paul

Onward Viking

" One would think," Roger grumbled, "that with all the self-declared big brains there are around this table someone would show some originality. Almost every name on the list can be found in the Big Register - half of them for ships still in commission. I move we strike out those tired, second-hand, wed-before names and consider only fresh ones."

Hazel looked at him suspiciously. "What ones will that leave?"

"Well -"

"You've looked them up, haven't you? I thought I caught you sneaking a look at the slips before breakfast."

"Mother, "your allegation is immaterial, irrelevant, and unworthy of you."

"But true. Okay; let's have a vote. Or does someone want to make a campaign speech?"

Dr. Stone rapped on the table with her thimble. "We'll vote. I've still got a medical association meeting to get to tonight." As chairman she ruled that any name receiving less than two votes in the first round would be eliminated. Secret ballot was used; when Meade canvassed the vote, seven names had gotten one vote each, none had received two.

Roger Stone pushed back his chair. "Agreement from this family is too much to expect . I'm going to bed. Tomorrow morning I'm going to register her as the R. S. Deadlock."

" Daddy, you wouldn't!" Meade protested.

"Just watch me. The R. S. Hair Shirt might be better. Or the R. S. Madhouse."

" Not bad," agreed Hazel. "It sounds like us. Never a dull moment."

"I, for one," retorted her son, "could stand a little decent monotony."

"Rubbish! We thrive on trouble. Do you want to get covered with moss?"

"What's "moss", Grandma Hazell?" Lowell demanded.

"Huh? It's... well, it's what rolling stones don't gather."

Roger snapped his fingers. "Hazel, you've just named the ship."

"Eh? Come again."

"The Rolling Stones. No, the Rolling Stone."

Dr. Stone glanced up. "I like that, Roger."

"Meade?"

"Sounds good, Daddy."

"Hazel?"

"This is one of your brighter days, son."

"Stripped of the implied insult, I take it that means "yes.""

"I don't like it," objected Pollux. "Castor and I plan to gather quite a bit of moss."

"It's four to three, even if you get Buster to go along with you and your accomplice. Overruled. The Roiling Stone it is."

Despite their great sizes and tremendous power spaceships are surprisingly simple machines. Every technology goes through three stages: first, a crudely simple and quite unsatisfactory gadget; second, an enormously complicated group of gadgets designed to overcome the shortcomings of the original and achieving thereby somewhat satisfactory performance through extremely complex compromise; third, a final stage of smooth simplicity and efficient performance based on correct under-standing of natural laws and proper design therefrom.

In transportation, the ox cart and the rowboat represent the first stage of technology.

The second stage might well be represented by the automobiles of the middle twentieth century just before the open­ing of interplanetary travel. These unbelievable museum pieces were for the time fast, sleek and powerful -. but inside their skins were assembled a preposterous collection of mechanical buffoonery. The prime mover for such a juggernaut might have rested in one's lap; the rest of the mad assembly consisted of afterthoughts intended to correct the uncorrectable, to repair the original basic mistake in design - for automobiles and even the early aeroplanes were 'powered' (if one may call it that) by 'reciprocating engines."