Robert Heinlein - To Sail Beyond The Sunset

‘That's almost true. Since he doesn't have a car. Since he left his car with Ira. Or with Brian Junior.'

‘Pish and tosh. The Weston boy is home every other weekend and he's only a private. I think I'm a woman scorned.

‘Nick Weston picks up his son in Junction City and you know why. But don't fret, Mabel; the money's on the table. I saw Carol's favourite soldier just today.'

I reswallowed my heart. ‘Yes, Briney?'

‘I find that I agree with Carol. And with mon beau-père. I already knew that Bronson is as fine a sergeant instructor as we have; I've checked his efficiency marks each week. As for Sergeant Bronson himself, he puts me in mind of Ira. As Ira must have looked at that age.'

‘Sergeant Bronson and I look like twins.'

‘So you do but on you it looks better.'

‘Oh, fiddle! You have always said that I look my best with a pillow over my face.'

‘I say that to keep you from becoming too conceited, beautiful. You are gorgeous and everybody knows it, and you look like Sergeant Bronson in spite of it. But he is most like Ira in his personality and in his gung-ho attitude. I fully understand your wish to trip him and beat him to the rug. If you still feel that way. Do you?'

I took a deep breath and sighed it out. ‘I do, sir. If our daughter Carol doesn't crowd me out and beat me to it.'

‘No, no! By seniority, please; this is wartime. Make her wait her rum.'

‘Don't tell Carol it's okay unless you mean it, dear man because she means it.'

‘Well, somebody's going to do it to Carol... and I think a lot better of Bronson than I do of that pimply young snot who broke in our Nancy. Don't you?'

‘Oh, heavens, yes! But the matter is academic; I have given up all hope of getting Sergeant Bronson to enter this house. Until the War is over, at least.'

‘I told you not to fret. A little bird whispered in my ear that Bronson will soon receive a midweek pass.'

‘Oh, Brian!' (I knew what a midweek pass meant: orders overseas.)

‘Ira was right; Bronson is eager to go Over There, so I put him on the list, a special requisition from Pershing's staff for sergeant instructors. Another little bird let me know that my own request was being acted on favourably. So I expect to be home about the same time. But - Listen closely. I think I can arrange it so that you will have a twenty-four-hour clear shot at him. Can you bring him down in that length of time'?'

‘Oh, goodness, Briney!'

‘Can-you, or can't you? I've known you to manage it in an hour with just a horse and buggy to work with; today you have at your disposal a guest bedroom with its own bath. What does it take? Cleopatra's barge?'

‘Brian, Father supplied that horse and buggy knowing what was up and actively co-operating. But this time he considers it his bounden duty to stand over me with a shotgun. Except that it is a loaded thirty-eight and he would not hesitate to use it.'

‘Can't have that; General Pershing wouldn't like it good sergeant instructors are scarce. So I had better brief Ira on the operation plan before I hang up which I must soon; I am running out of nickels and dimes. Is Ira there?'

‘I'll get him.'

Sergeant Theodore did get that midweek pass, from just after Retreat on Monday to eight o'clock muster Thursday morning - and at last he did come to Kansas City. At that time the picture shows always included a comedy - John Bunty, Fatty Arbuckle, Charlie Chaplin, or the Keystone Kops. That week I managed to outdo both Fatty Arbuckle and the Keystone Kops in always stepping into a bucket or falling over my feet.

To begin with, that difficult man, Sergeant Theodore, did not show up at our house until late Tuesday afternoon... when Brian had told me that Sergeant Theodore's pass should cause him to arrive at our house by mid-morning at the latest.

‘Where have you been? What took you so long?' No, I did not say anything of the sort. I may have felt like saying it... but I had learned the relative merits of honey and vinegar back when I was still a virgin - a long time ago indeed. Instead I took his hand, kissed his cheek, and said in my warmest voice, ‘Sergeant Theodore... it is so good to have you home.'

I played Cornelia and her jewels before and during dinner - held my peace and smiled while all my children vied for his attention... including Father who wanted to talk soldier talk with him. At the end of dinner Father suggested (by prearrangement with me) that Staff Sergeant Bronson take me for a spin, and then squelched attempts by the younger children to come along especially Woodrow who wanted both to play chess and to be taken to Electric Park.

So at last Sergeant Theodore and I headed south just at sundown. In 1918 there was very little south ff 39 thStreet on the east side of Kansas City even though the city line had been pushed clear south to 77 thStreet in order to include Swope Park. Swope Park had many popular lovers' lanes but I wanted a place much more private - and knew some, as Briney and I searched all the back roads one time and another, looking for what Briney called ‘poontang pastures', grassy places private enough to evade the buzzard eye of Mrs Grundy.

All along the east side of Kansas City runs the Blue River.

In 1918 it held many delightful spots - as well as thick bushes, deep mud, chiggers, mosquitoes, and poison ivy; one had to know where to go. If you went south but not too far south, and knew where to cross the tracks of the St Looie and Frisco, you could work your way into a wooded, grassy dell as nice as anything in Swope Park but utterly private, as it was surrounded by river and railroad embankment save for one narrow lane leading into it.

I wanted that particular spot; I was sentimental about it. When in 1912 we had become footloose through Briney's having purchased El Reo Grande, that was the first place Briney had taken me for outdoor loving. That delightful picnic (I had fetched along a lunch) was the occasion on which I became pregnant with Woodrow.

I wanted to receive my new love into me first on that very spot - and then tell my husband about it in every detail, giggling with him over it while we made love. Briney did so enjoy my trips over the fence and always wanted to hear about them before, during, or after our own lovemaking, or all three, as a sauce to encourage us in more and heartier lovemaking.

Brian always told me about his own adventures, but what he liked best was to hear about mine.

So I took Sergeant Theodore to the spot marked X.

Time was short; I had promised Father that I would stay out, at most, only long enough to tumble him, then wait another half or three-quarters of an hour for that wonderful, relaxed second go at it - cal it ten-thirty or eleven. So I should be home about the time you get back from the Armoury, Father.'

Father agreed that my plans were reasonable... including our need for a second engagement if the first one went well.

‘Very well, Daughter. lf you have to be later, please telephone so that we won't worry. And... Maureen.'

‘Yes, Father?'

‘Enjoy it, darling.'

‘Oh, mon cher papa, tu es aimable! Je t'adore!'

‘Go out there and adore Sergeant Ted. You will probably be his last piece for a long time... so make it a good one! Love you, best of daughters.'

My usual method of letting myself be seduced is to decide ahead of time, create or help create the opportunity, then cooperate with whatever advances the nominal seducer makes. (Contrariwise, if I have decided against it, I simply see to it that no opportunity arises.) That night I did not have time for the ladylike pianissimo protocol. i had just this one chance and only two hours to make it work - and no second chance; Theodore was going overseas. A warrior's farewell had to be now.

So Maureen was not ladylike. As soon as we turned off Benton Boulevard and the gathering dusk had given us some privacy, I asked him to put his arm around me. When he did so, I reached up, took his hand and placed it on my right breast. Most men understand that.