Robert Heinlein - The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress

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They remembered. Nobody forgets greatest disaster of early days of space flight when unlucky Pathfinder hit a Belgian village.

"We have no ships," I went on, "but would be possible to throw those bargeloads of grain....nstead of delivering them parking orbit."

Next day this evoked a headling: LOONIES THREATEN TO THROW RICE. At moment it produced awkward silence.

Finally journalist said, "Nevertheless I would like to know how you reconcile your two statements--no more grain after 2082... and ten or a hundred times as much."

"There is no conflict," Prof answered. "They are based on different sets of circumstances. The figures you have been looking at show the present circumstances... and the disaster they will produce in only a few years through drainage of Luna's natural resources--disaster which these Authority bureaucrats--or should I say 'authoritarian bureaucrats?'--would avert by telling us to stand in the corner like naughty children!"

Prof paused for labored breathing, went on: "The circumstances under which we can continue, or greatly increase, our grain shipments are the obvious corollary of the first. As an old teacher I can hardly refrain from classroom habits; the corollary should be left as an exercise for the student. Will someone attempt it?"

Was uncomfortable silence, then a little man with strange accent said slowly, "It sound to me as if you talk about way to replenish natural resource."

"Capital! Excellent!" Prof flashed dimples. "You, sir, will have a gold star on your term report! To make grain requires water and plant foods--phosphates, other things, ask the experts. Send these things to us; we'll send them back as wholesome grain. Put down a hose in the limitless Indian Ocean. Line up those millions of cattle here in India; collect their end product and ship it to us. Collect your own night soil--don't bother to sterilize it; we've learned to do such things cheaply and easily. Send us briny sea water, rotten fish, dead animals, city sewage, cow manure, offal of any sort--and we will send it back, tonne for tonne as golden grain. Send ten times as much, we'll send back ten times as much grain. Send us your poor, your dispossessed, send them by thousands and hundreds of thousands; we'll teach them swift, efficient Lunar methods of tunnel farming and ship you back unbelievable tonnage. Gentlemen, Luna is one enormous fallow farm, four thousand million hectares, waiting to be plowed!"

That startled them. Then someone said slowly, "But what do you get out of it? Luna, I mean."

Prof shrugged. "Money. In the form of trade goods. There are many things you make cheaply which are dear in Luna. Drugs. Tools. Book films. Gauds for our lovely ladies. Buy our grain and you can sell to us at a happy profit."

A Hindu journalist looked thoughtful, started to write. Next to him was a European type who seemed unimpressed. He said, "Professor, have you any idea of the cost of shipping that much tonnage to the Moon?"

Prof waved it aside. "A technicality. Sir, there was a time when it was not simply expensive to ship goods across oceans but impossible. Then it was expensive, difficult, dangerous. Today you sell goods half around your planet almost as cheaply as next door; long-distance shipping is the least important factor in cost. Gentlemen, I am not an engineer. But I have learned this about engineers. When something must be done, engineers can find a way that is economically feasible. If you want the grain that we can grow, turn your engineers loose." Prof gasped and labored, signaled for help and nurses wheeled him away.

I declined to be questioned on it, telling them that they must talk to Prof when he was well enough to see them. So they pecked at me on other lines. One man demanded to know why, since we paid no taxes, we colonists thought we had a right to run things our own way? After all, those colonies had been established by Federated Nations--by some of them. It had been terribly expensive. Earth had paid all bills--and now you colonists enjoy benefits and pay not one dime of taxes. Was that fair?

I wanted to tell him to blow it. But Prof had again made me take a tranquilizer and had required me to swot that endless list of answers to trick questions. "Lets take that one at a time," I said. "First, what is it you want us to pay taxes for? Tell me what I get and perhaps I'll buy it. No, put it this way. Do you pay taxes?"

"Certainly I do! And so should you."

"And what do you get for your taxes?"

"Huh? Taxes pay for government."

I said, "Excuse me, I'm ignorant. I've lived my whole life in Luna, I don't know much about your government. Can you feed it to me in small pieces? What do you get for your money?"

They all got interested and anything this aggressive little choom missed, others supplied. I kept a list. When they stopped, I read it back:

"Free hospitals--aren't any in Luna. Medical insurance--we have that but apparently not what you mean by it. If a person wants insurance, he goes to a bookie and works b-Out a bet. You can hedge anything, for a price. I don't hedge my health, I'm healthy. Or was till I came here. We have a public library, one Carnegie Foundation started with a few book films. It gets along by charging fees. Public roads. I suppose that would be our tubes. But they are no more free than air is free. Sorry, you have free air here, don't you? I mean our tubes were built by companies who put up money and are downright nasty about expecting it back and then some. Public schools. There are schools in all warrens and I never heard of them turning away pupils, so I guess they are 'public.' But they pay well, too, because anyone in Luna who knows something useful and is willing to teach it charges all the traffic will bear."

I went on: "Let's see what else--- Social security. I'm not sure what that is but whatever it is, we don't have it. Pensions. You can buy a pension. Most people don't; most families are large and old people, say a hundred and up, either fiddle along at something they like, or sit and watch video. Or sleep. They sleep a lot, after say a hundred and twenty."

"Sir, excuse me. Do people really live as long on the Moon as they say?"

I looked surprised but wasn't; this was a "simulated question" for which an answer had been taped. "Nobody knows how long a person will live in Luna; we haven't been there long enough. Our oldest citizens were born Earthside, it's no test. So far, no one born in Luna died of old age, but that's still no test; they haven't had time to grow old yet, less than a century. But-- Well, take me, madam; how old would you say I am? I'm authentic Loonie, third generation."

"Uh, truthfully, Colonel Davis, I was surprised at your youthfulness--for this mission, I mean. You appear to be about twenty-two. Are you older? Not much, I fancy."

"Madam, I regret that your local gravitation makes it impossible for me to bow. Thank you. I've been married longer than that."

"What? Oh, you're jesting!"

"Madam, I would never venture to guess a lady's age but, if you will emigrate to Luna, you will keep your present youthful loveliness much longer and add at least twenty years to your life." I looked at list. "I'll lump the rest of this together by saying we don't have any of it in Luna, so I can't see any reason to pay taxes for it. On that other point, sir, surely you know that the initial cost of the colonies has long since been repaid several times over through grain shipments alone? We are being bled white of our most essential resources...and not even being paid an open-market price. That's why the Lunar Authority is being stubborn; they intend to go on bleeding us. The idea that Luna has been an expense to Terra and the investment must be recovered is a lie invented by the Authority to excuse their treating us as slaves. The truth is that Luna has not cost Terra one dime this century--and the original investment has long since been paid back."

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