Terry Pratchett - The Bromeliad 2 - Diggers

"Yes, I can hear it," said Sacco irritably. "I wish it would stop."

"I just wondered why it was."

Sacco shrugged. "Who knows why anything happens?" he said. "Come on, Dorcas. Please. We haven't got all day."

"I'm just composing myself," said Dorcas quietly.

Nooty wandered miserably away from the group and looked down at one of the rails. It was bright and shiny.

And it seemed to be singing.

She bent closer. Yes, it was definitely making a faint humming sound. Which was odd. Bits of metal didn't normally make any noise at all. Not by themselves, anyway.

As she stared at the truck stuck between the flashing lights and the shiny rails, the world seem to change slightly and a horrible idea formed in her head. "Sacco!" she quavered. "Sacco, we're right on the railroad line, Sacco!"

Something a long way off made a deep, mournful noise.

Whoo-oooo ...

From the gateway of the quarry Grimma had a good view of the land all the way to the airport. She saw the train, and the truck. The train had seen the truck too. It suddenly started to make the long drawn-out screaming noise of metal in distress.

By the time it actually hit the thing, it seemed to be going quite slowly. It even managed to stay on the rails.

Pieces of truck spun away in every direction, like fireworks.

I. Nisodemus said unto them, Do you doubt that Ican stop the power of Order?

II. And they said, Um ...

-From the Book of Nome, Chases I, v. I-II Other nomes came running across the quarry floor, with Nisodemus in thelead, and piled up in a crowd around the gate.

"What happened? What happened?"

"I saw everything," said a middle-aged nome, "I was on watch, and I sawDorcas and some of the boys go into the truck. And then it rolled awaydown the hill and then it went over the highway and then it stopped righton the railroad tracks and then ... and then ..."

"I forbade all meddling with these infernal machines," said Nisodemus.

"And I said we were to stop, um, putting people on watch, didn't I? Thewatch Arnold Bros. (est. 1905) maintains should be enough for humblenomes!"

"Yes ... well ... Dorcas said he thought it wouldn't do any harm ifwe gave him a hand, sort of thing," said the nome nervously. "And hesaid-"

"I gave orders!" screamed Nisodemus. "You will all obey me! Did I notstop the truck by the power of Arnold Bros. (est. 1905)?"

"No," said Grimma quietly. "No, you didn't. Dorcas did. He put nails downin the road."

There was a huge, horrified silence. In the middle of it Nisodemus wentslowly white with rage.

"Liar!" he shouted.

"No," said Grimma, meekly. "He really did. He really did all sorts ofthings to help us, and we never said 'please' or 'thank you' and now he'sdead."

There were sirens along the road below and a lot of excitement around thestationary train. Red and blue lights flashed.

The nomes shifted uneasily. One of them said, "He's not really dead, though, is he? Not really. I expect he jumped out at the last minute. Aclever person like him."

Grimma looked helplessly at the crowd. She saw Nooty's parents in thecrowd. They were a quiet, patient couple. She'd hardly ever spoken tothem. Now their faces were gray and lined with worry. She gave in.

"Yes," she said. "Perhaps they got out."

"Must have," muttered another nome, trying to look cheerful. "Dorcasisn't the type to go around dying all the time. Not when we need him."

Grimma nodded.

"And now," she went on, "I think even humans will be wondering what'shappening here. They'll soon work out where the truck came from andthey'll be coming up here and I think they might be very angry."

But Nisodemus licked his lips and said, "We won't be afraid. We willconfront them and defy them. Um. We will treat them with scorn. We don't need Dorcas, we need nothing except faith in Arnold Bros. (est. 1905).

Nails, indeed!"

"If you start out now," said Grimma, "you should all be able to get tothe barn, even through what's left of the snow. I don't think the quarrywill be a safe place soon."

There was something about the way she said it that made people nervous.

Normally Grimma shouted or argued, but this time she spoke quite calmly.

It wasn't like her at all.

"Go on," she said. "You'll have to start now. You'll have to take as muchfood and stuff as possible. Go on."

"No!" shouted Nisodemus. "No one is to move! Do you think Arnold Bros.

(est. 1905) will let you down? Um, I will protect you from the humans!"

Down below, a car with flashing lights on top of it pulled away from theexcitement around the train, crossed the main highway, and headed slowlyup the dirt road.

I will call upon the power of Arnold Bros. (est. 1905) to smite thehumans!" shouted Nisodemus.

The nomes looked unhappy. Arnold Bros. (est. 1905) had never smittenanyone in the Store. He'd just founded it, and seen to it that nomeslived comfortable and not very strenuous lives in it, and apart fromputting the signs on the walls hadn't really interfered very much. Now, suddenly, he was going around being angry and upset all the time, andsmiting people. It was very bewildering.

"I will stand here and defy the dreadful minions of Order!" Nisodemusyelled. "I will teach them a lesson they won't forget."

The rest of the nomes said nothing. If Nisodemus wanted to stand in frontof the truck, then that was all right by them.

"We will all defy them!" he added.

"Er ... what?" said a nome.

"Brothers, let us stand here resolute and show Order that we are unitedin opposition! Um. If you truly believe in Arnold Bros. (est. 1905), noharm will come to you!"

The flashing light was well up the road now-Soon it would be crossingthe wide patch in front of the gates, where the great chain hunguselessly from the broken padlock.

Grimma opened her mouth to say: Don't be stupid, you idiots. ArnoldBros. (est. 1905) doesn't want you to stand in front of cars. I've seenwhat happens to nomes who stand in front of cars. Your relatives have tobury you in an envelope- She was about to say all that, and decided not to.

For months and months people had been telling nomes what to do. Perhapsit was time to stop.

She saw a number of worried faces in the crowd turn toward her, andsomeone said, "What shall we do, Grimma?"

"Yeah," said another nome, "She's a Driver, they always know what to do."

She smiled at them. It wasn't a very happy smile.

"Do whatever you think best," she said.

There was a chorus of indrawn breaths.

"Well, yeah," said a nome, "but, well, Nisodemus says we can stop thisthing just by believing we can. Is that true, or what?"

"I don't know," said Grimma. "You might be able to. I know I can't."

She turned and walked off quickly toward the sheds.

"Stand firm," commanded Nisodemus. He hadn't been listening to theworried discussions behind him.

" 'Do whatever you think best,' " muttered a nome. "What sort of help isthat?"

They stood in their hundreds, watching the car wind closer. Nisodemusstood slightly ahead of the crowd, holding his hands in the air.

The only sound was the crunch of tires on gravel.

If a bird looked down on the quarry in the next few seconds, it wouldhave been amazed.

"Well, probably it wouldn't. Birds are somewhat stupid creatures and havea hard enough job even coming to terms with the ordinary, let alone theextraordinary. But if it had been an unusually intelligent bird, anescaped myna bird, perhaps, or a parrot that had been blown severalthousand miles off course by very strong winds, it would have thought: Oh. There is a wide hole in the hill, with little old rusty sheds in it, and a fence in front of it.

And there is a car with lights on the top of it just going through a gatein the fence.